It Happened Last Year

I stand outside the cafeteria doors, waiting for Daniel. My entire weekend was used to think of what I am going to say at this exact moment-Monday, the day Daniel gets back. Jana even pitched in a few lines. Tell him that you love how dangerous he is, but he can’t fight Harrison without warning you first, she said. Obviously, I am not going to say that.

First, I need to know why. Why did you do it after I asked you not to?

Then I’m going to ask him if it was worth it. What punching Harrison really worth getting suspended over?

Finally, I want to know Harrison’s reaction. Did he fight back? What did he say?

I cannot think about it too hard, or I might just change my mind for the thousandth time. Waiting here isn’t helping either, it is giving me too much time to regret confronting him in the first place and before I know it, I’ll be running back to the table before Daniel can tell that I was waiting for him.

I cross my arms as the last wave of students rush through the doors. Daniel is usually one of the last people in the cafeteria, so it could happen any second now. I’ll catch a glimpse of him turning the corner, he’ll make eye contact with me, then I’ll pummel him with questions in a volume much louder than normal-just how I had planned.

A minute goes by without Daniel, and I begin to worry. Then a second, then a third. During the fourth, I begin to pace in the hallway, looking like I am waiting for news if my husband has made it through his surgery. When five minutes pass, I realize where he is, so I grab my backpack and head for the track.

It is a rainy day, hardly sprinkling now, but puddles from earlier litter the pavement. Grey clouds drift above me, letting past no sunlight whatsoever, and I spot Daniel in the distance, rummaging through his track bag. Hurrying over to him, I walk past the chain-linked gate, catching his attention. When he sees me, he stands up straight, knowing what is coming.

“What the hell, Daniel,” I shout as I finally reach him. “I told you not to-”

Then, out of nowhere, he kisses me.

No warning. Completely surprising me. He brings his lips down to mine and kisses me like he has the right to. Daniel got a search warrant for my lips, causing me to panic, not giving me enough time to flush the evidence.

Overwhelmed by the fact that Daniel is physically touching me in such a way, and by the fact that I am kissing someone in general, my body struggles to react. The last time someone kissed me, I began to cry, and Mr. Russ never took my crying well. Am I going to now-am I going to cry? Am I going to feel violated and anxious? It’s been too long, I can hardly remember how to react. How does a damaged seventeen-year-old girl react in such a fragile situation?

Then he pulls away.

Are there tears streaming down my cheeks? Am I holding my breath? Did I make it?Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Y-You. . .” I murmur, not knowing what to say. This is the first kiss that I have made it all the way through. With Mr. Russ, I always pulled away. Why didn’t I pull away? I should have pulled away. “You can’t do that.”

Daniel crosses his arms, hiding his amusement with a straight face. “I can’t?”

My cheeks flush with color, shades of pink and red pouring out onto my face, all for him to enjoy. It gives me away, well, the blushing and the nervousness that I am making very clear. I can’t even stand right-my fingers messing with the hem of my shirt is not helping. “You. . . You can’t.”

“Are you going to try and run away? Should I take your keys again?” He plays along, enjoying this very much.

I blush even harder, my hands swiping at my face as if that will take it away. What would a normal girl do? What would she say? My mind is running blank. “What does this mean?”

Daniel shrugs. I watch as he leans down to his bag and pulls out a shirt. He hands it to me, and I take it, confused. Daniel then decides to take off the shirt he is wearing as if this is something casual. My blush intensifies if that is possible.

He drops the shirt he was wearing into the bag, then takes the other from me before slipping it on. I have seen him without a shirt on-it is truly a wonderful experience-but never after a kiss. It is different now.

He leaves me speechless by jogging off onto the track, leaving me standing with a flushed face and wide eyes.

What the hell? What the hell was that?

Immediately, I grab my phone from my pocket and tap Jana’s contact. Wandering away from the track, I bring the device to my ear, breathing heavily. She answers.

“Hey, I was just about to call you. We’re going to a party at Watts’ tonight,” she says right off the bat. “Did you find Daniel?”

“Uh, I did a little more than find him,” I mumble. “He kissed me. Daniel kissed me out of nowhere.”

“What? He kissed you!”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I tell her.

There’s a moment of silence. “Wait. It was that bad?”

“No. It was amazing,” I breathe out. “Where are you?”

“I’m in the cafeteria. Meet me in the main hallway.”

I hang up and shove my phone back into my pocket. After stealing once more glance of Daniel, I hurry to meet Jana.

It would be stupid to think that he is with Daphne now, wouldn’t it? I mean, Daniel did just kiss me. Why? I am not sure about that. It would probably be weird to ask why someone had kissed you, but how else am I supposed to figure out what it means? He just shrugged. What does a shrug mean? I can always ask Jana, but she’ll probably tell me it means he wants to marry me.

I internally groan.

I find Jana leaned against a row of lockers, and when she spots me, she rushes over. Her face says a lot.

“What was it like? Was it long? Was there tongue? Did he place his hand on the side of your face to stop your hair from falling into it?”

My mouth opens and closes, then opens and closes. “It’s hard to remember. There was no, no tongue,” I say slowly, bothered a little. “But he definitely knows what he’s doing. He’s wasn’t hesitant at all. The weird part was, I didn’t hate it.”

“Well, you did say it was amazing. How can you hate amazing?”

I don’t know how to explain it without mentioning Mr. Russ, without talking about my discomfort and tears with him. “I don’t know. The idea of kissing has made me upset ever since Harrison. I thought I would have freaked out.”

Jana smiles. “It’s good that you didn’t. You’re healing, Hailey. Now, Watts’ tonight, come over around six and I’ll have something cute for you to wear.”

A short sight escapes me. “Watts needs to stop having parties on school nights.”

“Oh, he just assumes that everyone coming is cool,” she jokes. “This party-thing is important. Daniel kissed you, and now you have to look like a million bucks.”

“He’s going to be there?”

Jana playfully rolls her eyes. “Of course. How can he not be when you’re going?” The bell rings and she begins to drift away. “My place, six o’clock, be there.”