In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

I quickly wash the glasses, making as little noise as possible. As soon as they are all clean and dry, I turn around and find Yan lost in thought, biting his lips behind me. I put my hand on my heart as I say softly: That’s the second time you’ve almost killed me today. He looks a little uncomfortable that I’ve caught him like this, and all I know is that he sure came quietly to stare at my ass, and that’s what he was doing. It’s flattering, but obnoxious too. Maybe more flattering than obnoxious but… He interrupts my reverie when he walks over and says: “Do you want to try a third time, only we would do it differently?” Oh, crap! Why did I promise to stop this cleaning mania? Ah, it was exactly to get rid of situations like this with Yan! He closes his eyes at seeing me so close to him, as I take a deep breath and hold the sink firmly behind me. “Damn Sky, I’m sorry.” Huh? Did I really hear that? He opens his eyes and meets me with a confused look because that’s really how I feel:confused. “I just can’t, not say those things when I’m around you and, well… I promised I wouldn’t.” I still don’t say anything, and he continues: “I can tell you’re not comfortable with this and I want to avoid giving you this impression that everything hasn’t changed because it has, and I want you to be as comfortable with me, as I am with you.” Now I get it. He came all this way to throw in my face that somehow he thinks things are still the same for me, that I still have the hots for him even after what we did and that he doesn’t feel anything anymore and that he won’t keep saying these things, so I won’t make it so obvious to him (or anyone else) every time he tries? “Do you understand?” I am incredulous. Finally, I find my line: “Did you come all this way to somehow clarify it for me? That you don’t give a shit what I do, but that I’m making it too obvious that I’m crazy about you?” He looks at me as if he didn’t expect it. But he says: “Actually, I just came to get Tracy’s sandwich.” He goes to smile, but I interrupt: “Fuck you, Yan!” And I walk out of the kitchen towards Matt’s room.

I close the door and get under the blanket. Matt is still sleeping, there is a giant lump forming in my throat and tears are coming out of me that I can’t control. How could I have been such an idiot? Why did I let myself get carried away and do that to him? Remembering what we did now makes me sick. How I hate Yan! And I repeat this last sentences until anger and sleep completely overtake me. … I open my eyes and see that it is not yet light. It’s Saturday and I don’t need to wake up early today. I look at the clock by the bed and see that it is still five forty-five in the morning. I thought I would wake up feeling bad, but I guess the amount of crying I did before going to sleep washed away some of my anger. Furthermore, I don’t feel so bad anymore, I just woke up with one purpose: to entirely ignore Yan’s existence and take care of my relationship with Matt. And thinking about it, I look to the side, he is still sleeping, and his hair is all messed up and some parts cover his eye. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. He slept with his shirt off because I have his shirt on. I want him. I run my eyes down his almost bare body and even though he doesn’t have any fucking tattoos, he is incredibly sexy. Furthermore, I place my hand on his abdomen and slowly work my way down to where the blanket is covering him, more or less to his crotch. Likewise, I want him so bad now. But he’s sleeping. I pout, and I know he’d love to see that. I end up smiling. Not only that, but I unbutton the shirt I’m wearing, take off my panties and slowly climb on top of him and watch him still sleeping. Likewise, I lower my body slowly, my hairbrushes his shoulders,, and he just stirs. Likewise, I get close to his ear and say: “I need you, baby.” Furthermore, I roll over slowly because he’s not ready yet the way I require him to be. Not only that, but I leave kisses on his neck, and he puts two hands on my waist, but his eyes are still closed. I can already feel his breathing getting heavier, and down here he is also awakening.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I end up smiling and say it again: “I need you, inside me and… outside…” “Sky…” I smile at him, who now has his eyes open and smiling continues: “I love that you love sex.” I take his hands and place them both inside my shirt on my breasts, and he strokes them slowly. I close my eyes and my head falls back. Likewise, I look back up at him, and he looks into my eyes, and I lift myself up just enough to fit him into me. And when I come down, it’s as if he fills me and I need to feel this so badly, it’s as if we haven’t had sex like this in days. I move up and down a few times, and I don’t care if I’m making noise. The instant I move up, I just want him back inside me, so I move faster down again. He pulls me into his mouth, which makes what we’re doing even more delicious. He holds my ass with both hands to help me move, and I roll even more because I want to drive him crazy the way I am. I bite his lip as I climax, only to have him climax seconds later. I fall on his chest so that he is still inside me, we are not having sex anymore, just calming our breaths, but I like that we can still be so connected like this. … I end up falling asleep again because I wake up and see that it is nine in the morning. Matt is getting out of the shower and I get up and get ready to go take a shower too.

… I finish my shower and realize that Matt has already left. I leave the room looking for him, but all I find is Yan and Tracy sitting on his lap watching TV in the living room. They look at me, she’s smiling and Yan is not so happy. I think to myself, “fuck you and the shitface you’re making.” I sit down on the other couch and ask: “What about Matt?” I leave the question up in the air and Tracy quickly replies: “He went to buy bread rolls.” Minutes later, Matt arrives and we have coffee. Matt is happy, and I like to be the reason for that. Tracy says goodbye to us right after breakfast, she says she has to meet a friend. Yan goes back to his room and I mentally thank him for not having to enjoy his company. Even though we haven’t exchanged so much as a glance. I still feel certain anger for what he said to me yesterday. Matt asks me to keep him company, even if he has to type some parts of his work. I read some book while he works on his computer sitting on the bed and I in an armchair in his room. We agree to go out to lunch since we don’t feel like preparing food. Matt brings something for Yan. … Matt continues working on the computer and I decide to do some general cleaning in the apartment, which includes just vacuuming the floor and dusting with the feather duster.

Once I’m done, I feel tired but satisfied with the result. I hate dirt and dust. I go to Matt’s room to take a shower because I feel tired and hot, but he warns me as soon as I take off my clothes to go to the bathroom: “There is no hot water.” I turn around and say: “Oh no, Matt, again? I can’t take a cold shower.” I pout, he laughs and says: “I know. Furthermore, I’ll call someone to fix it… tomorrow or the next day.” “Matt.” Another pout. He comes to me and says: “Take a bath in Yan’s room.” “No!” “Why not?” I put my shirt back on and say: “Why not, and besides he’s sleeping, I don’t want to disturb him.” “Stop this nonsense, Sky. Come with me.” He holds my hand, and we walk out of his room towards Yan’s bedroom door. Matt says: “He’s been asleep for a long time, it’s really time to wake up for something to eat.” I stand beside Matt holding my towel while he knocks on the door. Yan opens the door. He is puffy eyed, shirtless and with his hair, all messed up, I feel a strange twinge in the pit of my stomach when he looks at me and quickly shifts his focus to Matt. Matt says: “Sky needs to take a shower, can she use your shower, mine, you know right?” Yan looks at me again, then runs his hand over his face and says, opening the door: “Of course.” Matt says as I walk past Yan through the door into his room, which is almost completely dark: “I brought you some food, I left it in the kitchen.” I hear Yan say thank you and I finally see the bathroom light and head in that direction.