I’m Just His Wife

It hurts because I gave him one hundred percent of my trust. Because I believe he won’t be able to betray me. But what did he do? Why was he able to hurt me more than I could feel?

“Seymour Alcantara was Uno …” I heard Ivan say so I turned to him.

“You knew?” kunot noo kong tanong.

He shook his head and turned to me for a moment before looking at the road again. “No. He never showed his face. I used to be suspicious of him. I saw the dragon mark on his gun so my suspicion intensified. And now, I have proven more. He was Lara’s husband and he was Uno . ”

“You knew it all along? Why didn’t you tell me?” I feel the pain has increased even more.

“He’s always with you. I’m afraid that when you find out he’ll hurt you. He despises your family so much, Rigella. And I think, he’s mad at you, too. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you so it’s better you don’t just know. ”

I was quiet there. He protected me?

“It’s a good thing he didn’t do anything bad to you while you were with him. Did you have any suspicions about him when you were together?” he asked so I suddenly swallowed and couldn’t answer. I also averted my gaze from him.

I know there was. Sometimes I wonder why one week he suddenly disappears without notice and also casually returns without notice. Once he was missing for another month but I just thought he was busy on business trips even though I was wondering why he suddenly disappeared.

All along, the person I hate the most was in front of me. Why didn’t I notice right away? Did I intentionally become numb so that not for a moment did I continue to suspect him.

“Do you … Do you love him, Rigella?”

I immediately turned to her and opened my mouth a little. His gaze and attention were still on the road but I can see the sadness on his face. It was as if he was afraid of what I might answer to him.

When he saw the red light he stopped the car. He turned to me and smiled sadly.

“It’s okay if you can’t answer it. I know. You love him.” despite her beautiful smile I could feel the sadness there.

“What made you think that I love him, Ivan?” my forehead furrowed slightly.

“You cried for him. And a woman was crying for a man because she loves him.” his eyebrows rose and his gaze remained on me.

“You’re right. I really love him. I love him so much …” I said and I smiled when I saw his two shoulders fall.

“See? I’m right.” he said almost in a whisper and looked back at the road but did not start the car. It’s still in red light.

“I love him so much … As a friend.” I am adding to what I said earlier.

He turned to me and I saw the shock on his face. “As a friend? But you cried for him.”

I smiled sparingly. “I’ll just take a nap. Just wake me up when we’re in Realondo.” I closed my eyes and leaned back comfortably in the chair.

I heard him exhale a deep breath. “Alright. Sleep tight, baby …” he said in a soft voice.

Those were the last words I heard before I let my dreams consume my whole consciousness …

***

Andrea’s POV

I’m awake but I still can’t open my eyes. Maybe I only slept for about three hours and I suddenly woke up in a trance after that. I just kept my eyes closed because I had a plan forming in my mind. I need you to be well-educated and fix all that before the ‘flood” comes.

I also thought of getting Ivan”s help but I”m still thinking about how I can do that without bothering other things. I have to be careful with the steps I take because just one wrong move of mine will mess everything up.

My only problem was how do I deal with Seymour. Despite everything I still want to fix everything between us but … he has to face the punishments he just deserves. He need to face all the consequences to be able to gain my complete forgiveness.

If he was Uno, why didn’t he kill me right away while we were still together? That”s what I”m wondering about. Did he have a reason why he didn’t do that? If anything what was his reason?

This was really the only escape from my problems that I can do for now. While the time has not yet come that I did not expect I will not think about it first and I will focus more on myself and … thinking of my plan.

I’m not a rock. I also get tired of everything that happens to me and I also need a break. And one more thing I want to hear right from Ivan’s mouth what happened to him … to Ice’s during the years I’ve been missing.

I decided to wake up when I could estimate that we were close to Realondo. I straightened up and grabbed my hair and placed it on my left shoulder. I turned to Ivan and was almost shocked when our eyes met. Damn those tantalizing gray eyes and pointed nose.

“You’re awake.” he gave me a meaningful look and a beautiful smile before looking down the road again.

I averted my eyes from him and just looked out the window.

Can I admit that I still love him to this day? I also don’t know the answer but I know that everything was back. All that familiar feeling every time I was with him.

Of what I learned there was only one I fully knew, the one that stuck in my mind. That he couldn’t hurt me like I used to think about him. That he was true to what he says. That he was never as bad as I thought. That he was still the Ivan I had known when we were kids.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

And if my love for him does return, that’s okay because it’s more proven and I know his true identity. Though, I couldn’t forget those physical and emotional pain that he caused me, I will still give my heart a chance to love him again and this time … I will not be afraid on falling for him again.

Why would I be afraid to try if I knew for sure that I was with him? All I want was for him to prove to me that he loves me and what kind of importance I have with him. That’s all.

Even mistake was the worst thing for me, I will still try. Because I do believe that the worst thing about making a mistake was being afraid to make one. I won’t be scared anymore this time. Because if I’m scared, I might just lose him again and I don’t want it to happen again.

“were you hungry? We can go drive thru if you want.” he suddenly asked from nowhere so my gaze shifted to him again.

I swallowed and clasped my hand. I don’t know but all of a sudden my mouth was covered and I couldn’t speak a word. Maybe because I was thinking of approaching him earlier but he got ahead of me. Ugh, I don’t know.

This feeling gives shiver to my spine. The nasty butterflies playing on my stomach and my burning cheeks. I feel like I’m a teenager again who loves his crush because they’re together. What the heck!

And now I’m just wondering why I went with him? Why did I immediately accept the palm he laid out in front of me? Did that mean my heart, my feelings wanted to be with him?

“Hey, I’m asking you. were you hungry?” he asked without looking at me.

I shook my head. “Nope, I’m not. I also ate a lot at the coffee shop earlier.”

He nodded his head. “Okay. Your incident earlier, did you plan it?” he asked directly.

My eyes widened because of what he said. Shit! Why did he ask that? Did he see me earlier? But I did my best to hide myself so how can he see me.

I couldn’t answer and just headed off. I’m wondering if he feels pain? After all, he loves Lara? Even if he said that he loves me, my heart can’t just accept it easily. I need to see what he will do so he can prove he loves me. And, if he still loves Lara then … I will give him time to move on. I want him to turn his love to me. I don’t care about others might say. I just want to be selfish. Just this once.

I feel like I’m sweating bullets and my hands were also shaking. I was scared to know what else he would say about what happened earlier. What if, I get hurt? I have a phobia in heartaches, though I don’t even know if that phobia exists.

“If you planned it, I just want to say … Thank you.” I was surprised at what he said so I turned to him. There was a look of regret on his face. “If you hadn’t done that I wouldn’t have realize that I looked like a fool for so many years with him. That I should have known his secrets before even though I was suspicious. That I should have known. I poured out the love I gave him before because he did not deserve it because of the evils he had done. ” he said which gave me a strange feeling again.