Novel Square
67
Chandler hooted with laughter. “Nothing to do with you? Pray tell, enlighten me, Future Dr. Kendrick.”
“I’m no shrink, but Elena is the first woman to make you want something more. And you’d have to put every part of you on the line in order to make something real with her. It’s scary, and you’ve never done it, and you grabbed the most convenient excuse to make life easier on yourself. That excuse is bullshit, but you’ll hold on to it like it’s a life raft.”
Chandler glared mightily at him because clearly someone had used their time driving up here to prepare exactly how to knee him in the proverbial balls. Paul murmured like he was hearing a good sermon. He got a glare too.
Elijah leaned forward. “What if she had been the one to show at your door?”
The second he said it, his heart reacted without a single thought on his end.
Racing, pounding, thumping erratically at the mere mention of her on the other side of that door. He wanted it so badly.
Wanted her.
“What if you had the chance, right now, to redo that day?” Elijah continued.
“You can’t erase the past,” Chandler interrupted. He stood from the stool and paced the room. “No matter how I’d feel if she showed up, or if I could back up time, I can’t take back what happened. What she said. What I said. It’s done.”
“But it doesn’t have to be over,” he said. “You’re such a stubborn jackass, Chandler. She’s crazy about you, and look at you! You’re a mess because you reacted badly and had a shitty argument. So what? People argue, and they say stupid things, and sometimes we have to be able to forgive them for those things because we know it’s more important to move forward.”
Chandler’s hands speared helplessly into his hair, and he shook his head. The feelings taking over his body were almost more than he could handle because they were loud and overwhelming and terrifying. Not once had he felt like this. Nothing had ever come close to what he felt like was at stake when he thought about the possibility of fixing things with Elena.
“I don’t know … I don’t know how to make this better,” he admitted quietly.
Finally, he looked his brother full in the face. “What I said to her-”
“Oh, I heard, trust me,” he answered with a wry smile.
“You heard?”
He held up his hands. “I was not the one to crack the window, but yes, I heard.”
“Shit,” Chandler groaned. Just what he wanted to hear.
“You’ll have work to do.”
“Her and her sister will toss me out on my ass with two broken legs if I tried to show up again.”
“No, they wouldn’t.” He sounded so sure.
With a lift of his eyebrow, he tried to wait the truth out of him.
Elijah held up his hands. “They won’t. Because if you mean to Elena what I think you do, they’ll get over it. It won’t take them long, and all you have to do is just … prove that you mean what you say.”
“That’s all?” he asked dryly.
“Yeah. Once you do that, they’ll be in your corner as much as they’re in hers.”
It was almost too much to bear, the kindling of hope that sprang up. He wanted to squash it with two hands and grind it out with his boot because he’d tried so hard to ignore how horrible he’d felt all week, how much he missed her, and the sad truth that he was so relationship-slow at his age that he had screwed up his first real shot at happiness. The kind of happiness that made him think about forever. But maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t screwed it up beyond repair.
Elijah watched him carefully, as did Paul.
Chandler shrugged. “So I, what? Show up and apologize and hope she doesn’t slam the door in my face?”
Elijah exhaled slowly. “I have a better idea, if you’re willing to come somewhere with me next weekend.”
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“You won’t want to go at first.”
Chandler eyed him because he could only think of a few places he’d refuse to go with his little brother who was weirdly, inexplicably, trying to help him with this. “But she’ll be there?” he asked.
Elijah nodded. “She will.”
He held Elijah’s gaze. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
____________
Emily and Daniel were happy. Elena could see it on their faces as everyone congratulated them. They clearly couldn’t wait to tell the world their good news and Elena couldn’t blame them. Emily and Daniel had been trying for a baby for a while now, and they had every reason to celebrate.
Elena was happy for her sister too, and she was trying to get her life together again. It seemed like lately all she was trying to do was start over, but somehow she kept failing. The week got better when she started speaking to Emily again, but there was no lying to her heart that things were fixed. All week, she’d turned her head around and around and around what to do about Chandler.
Chandler, who was haunting her dreams now. Who hadn’t texted or called. And who was still the first person she thought about when she woke up. The last person she thought about before she went to sleep. She wanted to stop thinking about him so badly but she couldn’t help herself. Even now, at the party with her loved ones, she couldn’t stop thinking about him even though he wasn’t there. Emily said she’d told Elijah to invite him, but he was absent so she guessed he probably didn’t show up because he didn’t want to see her.
Beth came to stand beside her, drink in hand, “Penny for your thoughts,” she said,
Elena managed a smile, but Beth could see through her. Was she that obvious? Guess so.
“Stop looking so downcast,” Beth said, “You’re at a party for God’s sake,”
Elena shrugged, “I know… And I’m sorry, but I can’t stop thinking about Chandler. I feel like I’m going to cry,”
“Please don’t,” Beth said, “Especially since…..” her voice trailed off.
Elena followed her gaze and turned. Chandler stood at the door, looking around like he was searching for something. He hadn’t seen her yet, and her heart clenched painfully when she saw him reach up and tug nervously on the tie he was wearing. He was clearly coming from the office… That explained his late arrival. Her heart soared even further to a place she wasn’t even sure had a name. That was how far it was beyond any definition she could think of.