Holding on to you

After Killian found me and his sister talking about what his dad did to them, his mood took a turn for the worse. From that moment on he was like a walking volcano, ready to erupt.

“Killian, talk to me!”

I tried to stop him but it was no use, he was stronger than me and much more stubborn.

However, I wasn’t giving up, I kept up my pace and followed him right to his office. He turned and saw me behind him, which only cause him to bang his fist against the wall. I jumped back, but I wasn’t afraid, he needed to talk about what happened to him and hiding away, letting it all bottled up wasn’t good for him.

“Leave me the f**k alone, Lilly!”

He took a threatening step closer to me, but I stood my ground, I knew that he was trying to frighten me, but I wasn’t going to let him.

“You can’t scare me away, Killian, I’m staying right here.”

His pale green eyes darkened, and before I knew what was happening, I found myself face down, bent over the oak desk. I tried to push myself up, but he put his hand flat on my back, pushing me back down. I tried a few more time, but when it became apparent that he wasn’t going to let me up, I stopped trying.

“Killian, stop this, my parents are only a few rooms away.”

I don’t know what I hoped to achieve by talking him down, but it wasn’t what he did next. The cool air from the room hit my skin as he pushed my dress up, exposing my bottom to him.

He leaned over me until his lips were at my ear, I shifted under him, but it only served to rub my ass against him.

“You’re the one who chose to say, this is the consequence for your disobedience.”

His tender kiss on the tip of my ear was a direct contrast to the way his hand was violently ripping at my panties. I tried to fight him, but it was like trying to push a ten-ton truck off of me. He wasn’t budging.

“Killian, you don’t want to do this, it just the anger at what your father did to you that’s turning you into this person. I know you’re better than this, please… just talk to me.”

His hands on my body stilled, and again I felt myself being flipped over. This time, I was sitting on the edge of the desk facing him. The look of utter disgust that was on his face scared me a bit, but I tried my best to not let it show.

He pushed my legs apart with his body and position himself between them. His hands flew out, grabbing my hips, pulling me so that my legs were wrapped around his waist.

Soft lips crushed down on mine when I tried to say something, I fought it at first, but then I started giving in when his kiss became less punishing and more sensual. I got so lost in his touch and his kiss that I was clueless to the fact that he was undressing me. It wasn’t until I felt the clip on my bra loosen that I came to my senses.

I desperately wanted to continue letting him undress me, but I knew that he was only trying to get me to stop pushing him to deal with his problems. However, I put my hands flat on his chest and pushed really hard. He only moved a few inches, but it was enough to break the connection.

“I’m not gonna let you do this to yourself, you need to talk about happened to you.”

My voice sounded breathless and full of ill conceal passion, I sound extremely turned on and I knew that he heard it too.

“I don’t wanna f**king talk to you! Do you think I keep you around to talk to you? No, I keep you around so that I can f**k you! If you really want to do something useful with your mouth, you can wrap it around my dick.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I was taken aback by his words, it felt like a slap in the face. I pushed at his shoulders when he leaned in to take my lips again, but he caught my hands, securing them behind my back.

I struggled to get loose, but it only resulted in me hurting myself. He moved in to kiss me, but I turned my head to the side. securing my two hands with one of his, he took his free hand and grab my jaw hard, forcing me to face him.

“You don’t get to ever deny me the use of your body.”

“F**k you, Killian!”

I was pretty pissed off, how dare he treat me like I’m some whore who’s just around to service him. Asshole!

He laughed, “That’s exactly what I intend to do.”

Before I could say anything his lips were on me again, and I don’t know how, but even through all of my fighting, he still managed to get my clothes completely off of me.

Although I was pissed off at him, I still wanted him, but I wanted to make it as hard for him as possible. When he moved back to pull his shirt over his head, I took my chance and ran for the door, but I never made it very far. His arms came around my waist, lifting me clean off of the ground, and again I found myself being bent over the table.

I had a string of curse words ready to shoot at him, but the sharp sting of his hand connecting with my exposed flesh caused me to scream instead.

“Let me go, Killian!”

There was no use in pleading with him, but I tried anyway, and true to his nature, he brought his hand down on my ass a few more times. I could only imagine how it must sound to my family, and knowing Killian, he would enjoy taunting them.

“I’m never letting you go, Red.”

He ceased his torture of my ass and started drawing patterns on my back, which caused a tingle in the pit of my stomach. Slowly, he ran his hand up my back, his touch was as light as a feather that I found myself moaning from how good it felt.

However, when I heard him fiddling with his belt, it brought me back to reality and what he was getting ready to do, so I started fighting again.

“Stop fighting it, Red, you know you want me to f**K you.”

That might be the case, but he didn’t have to act like he was some god and I’d be honoured to have him inside of me.

I didn’t get a chance to protest, because the next thing I knew, he was pushing his way into my body. A loud gasp escaped me, and I grabbed onto the table for support when his movement started to get rough.

Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I found myself moaning and crying out from the sheer pleasure of it. His tempo lasted for a while and so did my screams. After he was finished we stayed like that for a while.

Without saying a word, he pulled away from me and started pulling his pants back up. I looked around for my clothes, but my tears blurred my vision, in the end, I ended up wrapping my hands around my body to cover myself.

Killian picked his shirt up off of the floor and handed it to me, I was reluctant to take it, but I also didn’t want to stand there naked, so I accepted it and put it on.

“Let’s get out of here.”

He reached for me, but I flinched away from him. I felt so used that I didn’t want him to touch me. However, Killian didn’t like that, he wasn’t going to accept his possession pulling away from him.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Shut the f**k up and let’s go!”

I glared at him, I don’t know who he thought he was, but he didn’t get to treat me like a sex object and have no care in the world about how I feel. He reached for me again and this time, I made a show of moving directly out of his vicinity.

“I said, don’t f**king touch me… ever!!”

He moved so fast and before I knew it, his hand was around my neck. I barely got out a gasp before his mouth was on mine, kissing me hard. When he finally pulled away, he stared at me with hard-set eyes.

“Is that what you want, Red? Is that what you really want?”

I nodded my head and his eyes darkened to a dangerous level, and his hand on my throat tightened.

“Do you even know what you’re asking for? I’m going to tell you what me never touching you again entails, and then I’m going to give you five seconds to choose. If you truly never want to feel my touch again then I won’t touch you, but you’d still be mine, cause I’m never letting you go. However, you have to live with seeing other women coming in your home, being in your bed, sleeping with your husband. Now, I’m going to ask you again, is that really what you want?”

I just stared at him dumbfounded, he couldn’t possibly mean any of what he just said, but from the serious look on his face, I knew he did.

“You’ve got five seconds, starting now… five.”

A little part of me wanted to say yes just to see if he would really go through with it, but another part of me knew that I’d never be able to live with seeing him with other women if he did go through with it.

“Four…”

I bit my lips, I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of saying no, so I decided to wait until the last second.

“Three…”

His eyes bore into mine, and I swear I saw a flicker of worry, but it went as quickly as it came.

“Two…”

Okay, so maybe I imagined the worried look in his eyes before, because the only thing that I saw looking at me, was a black emotionless mask.

“One. Times up, Red.”

He let go of me and turned and walked away, I was so focused on his emotionless state and what it meant, that I forget that I only had one second left. Panic started to set in when I saw that he was almost to the door. I pushed myself away from the desk and ran behind him, I don’t know how I did it, but somehow I found myself standing in front of the door, blocking the exit.

“I wasn’t ready.”

He frowned at me, and I wanted to kick myself at how desperate I sounded even to my own ears.

“You’ve made your decision, Red, live with it.”

God! How the hell did we come to this? This wasn’t supposed to be about me; I wasn’t supposed to be the one standing here about to beg him to keep on touching me. How the hell did we get from talking, or trying to talk about what his dad did to him as a kid, to him threatening to cheat on me?

“But I didn’t, five seconds is no time to give someone to make such a bid decision. I… I demand a recount!”

His brow quirked up and his lips twitched causing some semblance of a smirk, which he tried to hide, but I caught it.

“Okay, fiv―”

“No, I don’t want that!”

He smiled and stepped closer to me, putting his hands around my waist. I returned his smile then laced my hands around his neck.

“Are you sure, you sounded so final before?”

“I’m sure, you might be a heartless, emotionless bastard, but you’re mine and I don’t want to share you with anyone else.”

He rested his head against mine then kissed me lightly on the lips before pulling away to look at me.

“That’s good because I kinda like the idea of belonging to only you.”

My heart warmed at his words and I couldn’t stop the stupid grin from creeping up on my face. He was smiling too, but then he got serious.

“I’ll tell you about my father in my own time, don’t push it, okay?”

I nodded my head and then we left the room. We didn’t go straight to the room my parents were in, instead we headed to the laundry room to retrieved fresh clothes.

When I was satisfied that I was decent enough we made our way to my family. The greeting we got when we entered the room was not a good one.

My dad lunged at Killian, punching him right in the face. The hit was so unexpected that it knocked Killian backed a few steps.

“You f**king bastard, what were you doing to my daughter?!”

My eyes widen and I tried to keep the red out of my face. I closed my eyes and prayed that Killian didn’t answer his questions, but like always my prayers never get answered.

Righting himself, Killian wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand then turn to smirk at my dad.

“What I do with my wife behind closed door is none of your f**king, business, old man.”

My brothers looked disgusted, but my father just got filled with ragged and lunged for Killian again, but Killian was ready for him. He easily side-stepped him and when my dad went to try again, my mom decided to put a stop to it.

“Stop this, Marco, this isn’t what we came here for.”

My dad didn’t look like he wanted to stop, but he did for my mother sake. However, it didn’t go unnoticed by me the way he kept avoiding my eyes like he couldn’t bear to look at me.

It stung, it stung so bad that I felt like I was running out of air. Killian, being as perceptive as he is, sensed what was going on and his hand found its way around my waist. From the sheer strength of his hold, I knew that he was pissed off.

“Listen, Marco, let’s get one thing straight, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but that’s no f**king reason for you to treat your daughter like she’s a leper! If you want someone to be pissed at then be pissed at me. Lilly didn’t have a choice in this relationship happening, I saw her, I wanted her and I took her, end of story. So, the least you can f**king do is look at your daughter instead of acting as if she disappointed you.”

I didn’t know what to say, what Killian did was so sweet and unlike him. He could have told my dad that I basically sold my virginity to him for my brother’s protection, but he chose to take all the blame. Why?

Instead of reassuring my dad, his confession only served to anger him more. However, before he could do something about, my mom held him back.

“Enough of this, let’s talk about why we’re really here, shall we?”

Everyone nodded and we all took seats, I wanted to sit close to my brothers, but Killian pulled me down on the seat next to him.

My mother took the lead since it looked like the men just wanted to fight their problems away.

“So, news has reached us through the grapevines that JD is after our little girl, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you, Killian?”

My father snorted, “Of course he knows, it’s his shady dealings that have his enemies coming after our daughter.”

I shifted in my seat, but Killian put his hand on my thigh as a signal to keep still, and quiet. I wanted to tell my parents that Killian wasn’t responsible, but that would mean exposing Brandon, and I couldn’t possibly do that.

“Yes I know, and I intend to deal with it.”

“You’re not going to deal with it alone, she’s our daughter and we’re going to help protect her and bring down the person trying to harm her. And in future, if you’re truly serious about my daughter, I’d ask you to be more careful with her safety. You don’t have yourself to worry about anymore, so you should consider being less reckless with her wellbeing.”

My mother was looking at Killian with challenging eyes, daring him to go against her. It was the first time I’ve ever seen my mother looked so formidable, almost the same as Killian.

“I am serious about your daughter, and her safety is my first and only priority. Trust me, as long as I still have life in my body, no one is going to hurt her.”

Someone got up and left the room and when I looked up to see who it was; I wasn’t surprised to find that it was Kinsley. The rest of the conversation went on around me, but my eyes were on Kinsley. She turned around once and caught me looking at her, and she totally caught me off guard when she mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

I almost got up and went after her, but Killian squeezed my thigh to bring me back to the conversation.

“That’s it then, we’ll meet up when you find out where he’s hiding then we’ll put an end to this once and for all. If this idiot thinks he can threaten my daughter and live, he’s got another thing coming.”