Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem



Ben's assistant stood there, gobsmacked and bewildered, a mix of shock and flattery washing over him. "What?!"

After all, they knew who Tarquin was. They'd seen him around more than a few times, but having him initiate a conversation? And with a smile? That was a first!

Tarquin didn't just baffle Ben's assistant; he had everyone he encountered scratching their heads in disbelief!

He struck up conversations with the elevator operators!

He chatted up families waiting in the hospital lobby!

He even made small talk with the elderly folks chilling in their wheelchairs at the entrance!

And, believe it or not, he didn't spare the janitors, exclaiming, "My son's mama is Elysia!"

"Elysia, oh, Elysia! The most perfect Elysia in the world!"

"I can't believe it's her. How did I get so lucky? Tell me, did I save the galaxy in a past life or what?!"

"Elysia! Haha! It's Elysia! I... hahaha... I'm so lucky! So happy!"

Soon, word spread through the hospital like wildfire: a tall, handsome man was going around, seemingly lost his marbles, mentioning 'Elysia' and bursting into goofy grins whenever he did.

Some of the older folks felt pity, saying, "Such a handsome, young man. Why has he lost his senses? What could've shocked him so?" There were even suggestions to the hospital staff to perhaps have Tarquin checked into the psychiatric ward for a thorough evaluation!

Ben was floored when he heard the news!

He gripped his assistant's hand so hard his knuckles turned white, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull.

"What did you say?!"

His assistant, trembling with fear, explained, "Mr. Bradford has been acting really odd today, telling everyone about Elysia being his kid's mom. He's not just greeting strangers; he's been grinning like a madman! It's like he's lost it!"

Ben's jaw dropped. "Elysia?!!!"

It finally dawned on him. He had just processed the paternity test between Elysia and Elijah!

Meaning, Elysia was indeed Elijah's biological mother!

"Oh, my Lord! Where is he?!"

Without waiting for an answer, Ben bolted from the lab, the lab coat still trailing behind him.

He was running so fast and fiercely that he nearly took a tumble but regained his composure and continued sprinting towards the elevator.

His assistant hurried after him, "Dr. Ben, where are you headed? We've got a surgery this morning!"

Ben, seemingly deaf to the question, turned and said, "Elysia is Elijah's mother! The heavens have finally opened their eyes! After all these years of tormenting Tarquin, it's finally raining sugar! I'm... I'm so damn happy for him! My brother has suffered enough..."

Ben, getting choked up, left his assistant dumbfounded.

Mr. Bradford has gone bonkers!

And now Dr. Ben's off his rocker too!

God, the assistant felt like he was losing his mind too!

But, seriously, who in the world is Elysia?!

Ben, after his brief moment of jubilation, began to blame himself, "How could I have screwed up last time? I've practically doomed my friend! Thank goodness Elysia didn't slip through his fingers, or I'd never forgive myself... I owe it to him to make things right for the rest of his life..."

His assistant, puzzled, thought, What? Be responsible for Mr. Bradford for life? That... sounds a bit odd, doesn't it?!

Meanwhile, Tarquin was in his car, furiously pounding on the steering wheel with joy.novelbin

No words needed: Ecstatic!

Three words: So very happy!

Four words: Absolutely over the moon!

Five words: Nearly dying of happiness!

Six words: So thrilled, I could fly!

A whole sentence: So happy, I'm nearly a lunatic!

After stirring up the entire hospital and getting back into his car, he looked at the paternity test report in his hands. He first celebrated by hitting the steering wheel, then murmured to himself about his incredible luck, and finally, his eyes welled up with tears...

They say real men don't cry easily, but he couldn't help himself.

After all these years, he'd never felt so overwhelmed, moved to tears, eager to shout from the rooftops:

Elysia is the mother of his child!!!

Elysia is the woman Tarquin had been searching for, for six whole years!

Envy me, be jealous, for I, Tarquin, am the luckiest, happiest, and most overjoyed man alive!

Truly...

What fortune, that it's her!