CHAPTER 78
Celine’s POV
“What?” His loud exclamation booms into my ears, making tears roll down my eyes but I am quick to wipe them off.
I don’t want him to see me cry again.
Apparently, he didn’t know all along that he was my first man. He is the first man I had sex with and I haven’t had anything to do with any man ever since.
He didn’t know he took my virginity.
What would it change if he had known? Maybe he would have treated me differently? Will telling him make any difference?
Confusion skates his expression as if he is trying to recall it all. How it happened and whether I am being honest.
“I…no…I..”, he stutters, pushing back his nervousness and tearing his gaze away from me.
“You didn’t know?” I ask, peering at him.
He suddenly looks like he has taken a hold of his emotions, his face becomes deadly. “That sex was a mistake, Celine. It wasn’t meant to happen”, he shouts.
“Really?” I don’t want to be taken aback by his outburst. This has always been Bryan. I didn’t come here to fight him but I can’t help the anger rising inside of me.
“It was a mistake yet you claimed my son to be yours? Can you even hear yourself out?” I yell back.
“It wasn’t a mistake to you?” He takes a step closer to me, his face in a frown.
“A mistake? No, it wasn’t!” I exclaim. “It wasn’t a mistake. My child can never be a mistake.”
He folds his arms, titling his head aside and watching me. “Was it planned then?”
“What? What do you mean planned?” I feel attacked, my anger going down. I know it will come to this. He will blame me for that night, the same way he blamed me months after it happened which made me run away.
“Did you plan it, Celine?” He pastes an accusing look on his face and I ball my fist, refraining from hitting him.
“You dare accuse me of planning sex with you? Are you crazy? Do I look like some whore to you? It seems you have lost your mind. You forget how you forced yourself on me?”
“Watch your words, woman!” He points a warning finger at me. “Watch what you say. I do not force myself on women.”
“But you did. On me. You forced yourself on me. I was helpless”, I spread my arms out, watching him squarely without fear. This is it. This is the bridge I have been running away from. Now is the time to cross it.
He scoffs. “Unbelievable! I forced myself on you?”
“What do you call it, then? We were both drunk and because of my stupid sympathy for you, I decide to help you to your room and you fell on me. I tried to get off but you wouldn’t budge. What do you call that?”
His face turns sour, probably because he has remembered. “Why the hell didn’t you stop it from happening, goddammit?”
“Is it possible to stop a horny man bent on having sex with a woman?” I retort back at him. “Why the regrets anyway? I have suffered for years for your so-called mistake but I won’t consider it a mistake on my own part because something beautiful came out of it. The ungrateful one here is you”, I poke his chest, before turning back to leave.
Fuck him!
I will no longer take the money from him for the shopping. I will make do with what I have. He is still the egoistic man I know him to be.
How could he even call our son a mistake? If Jason is a mistake then he should let us go? We never wanted to have anything to do with him after all, we were living fine without him but he came and ruined everything.
I was already thinking of giving his mother’s suggestions a try and I purposely came to ask him for money to shop for new dresses to see if it will work and it worked.
Even though I am still having my doubts, now I feel more than encouraged to go through with this. He deserves whatever tortures that come his way.
“Celine!” He makes me halt in my tracks. I am not expecting him to call me but he did that anyway.
Slowly, I turn to face him, expecting a remorseful look on his face. There is no guilt or remorse. Bryan is a hard man. A hard nut to crack and I am beginning to think twice about the suggestion of seducing him.
He has a look devoid of emotions on his countenance. He looks confused after a while and I shake my head. It is obvious he can’t remember how it happened.
“I’m sorry”, his tone isn’t soft like that of someone who is indeed sorry. He is just apologizing because he feels obligated to.
I can’t believe Bryan is apologizing to me.
“I never knew and I am not calling our child a mistake. I just feel the sex should have been prevented…”
“Prevented?” I snarl at him. “Are you still on this? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing is wrong with me”, he answers back sharply. “Let’s just be realistic with each other. That sex was against the rules of the contract. It wasn’t supposed to happen….”
“But it happened anyway, do you have anything you can do to take back that time and ensure you did not have sex with me?”
“No.”
“Then what the hell is your problem? I am not even complaining. I am the one at the receiving end, I suffered the result all alone but you knew nothing…”
“Because you didn’t tell me anything”, he cuts me short.Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.
“I didn’t tell you or you were just too strong-headed to ask me anything? You pretended as if the sex never happened. You should have at least shown me your concern the next day and if that had happened, maybe I would have told you when I found out I was pregnant with your child.”
Silence hovers, our conscience judging us.
The conscience of taking advantage of me as I told him. That is what is judging him but it is judging me too because it wasn’t forced. I could have stopped it if I wanted to stop it. I wasn’t as drunk as he was but I wanted it.
It was overwhelming to see him all over me after several months of being in the same house yet he never spared me more than a glance per day.
It broke my heart and made me crave his attention more.
When he isn’t saying anything, I decide to end the conversation and go to bed. It is late already and I hope to catch some sleep.
I turn back to the door.
“You are egoistic!” I mutter beneath my breath.
“What?!” He exclaims when I touch the doorknob. I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lips. I don’t intend to let him hear that but it doesn’t change anything.
He is egoistic and he should know it.
Expecting him to call me back, shout and scold me for calling him an egoistic man, he keeps mute and I snap my head back out of curiosity.
“You can go”, he dismisses me with his nose scrunching up in disgust. “But you start your work tomorrow morning. Be a minute late and you will be fired!”
He goes to his closet and I step out, shaking my head.
Bryan will never change! He is bounded and chained to the past. And I fear this will be forever.