His Soul & His Shame

Ezra's Pov:

Fay pushed me away with her hands on my chest and our lips let loose reluctantly. I have no intention of ever stopping tasting her but sometimes I have to settle for her and not overwhelm her with my dominating self.

"You taste so fucking sweet, baby girl and I don't want to leave your mouth even for a second." I groaned those words near her lips wanting to have another taste of them but I need to take it slow.

"We need to stop, Ezra! I have not forgiven you entirely." She whispered still in a daze and her tongue came out to lick her lips like she has eaten candy.

"Yet! Baby girl and I will everything and anything to change your mind." I stole another kiss from her and pulled myself back in the fear of not getting enough of her and her taste.

Why did I push her away all those years ago? She tastes like peace, home, and sin all wrapped up in one. I am an idiot for not realizing that Fay is what I want, not some chicks who make me feel good for those minutes. I never feel like I had enough of Fay, I want more of her.

"Let's see." She challenges me with a smirk on her pouty lips making me twitch in my pants. It's been so long since I had been inside her and it's another godamn thing that made me realize she is not just another girl in my list but she is everything I ever dreamt of and much more.

After she left me I realize that what an asshole I was to her and how much I hurt her by flaunting Mitchell right after she gave up her virginity to me. I will never forgive myself for hurting her and I was punishing myself these two years for the hurt I caused my baby girl.

"Come, I will show you something." I threaded my fingers with hers and guided her toward the hallway.

Once I stand in front of the door I opened it and let her see what I wanted to show her. A surprised and excited gasp sounded beside me making my heart warm and feel happy at her reaction to the library I personally prepared for her.

She loves ready her silly romance books and when I bought this the first person who came to my mind was Fay and I wanted to give this library to her. It will give her a reason to come and spend time here with me till she goes back, even the thought of her leaving again makes my heart beat faster with fear and longing.

"Oh, My God! Ezra? This is so beautiful." Fay stepped into the room inhaling the smell of books and wood lingering in the air. Seeing her this giddy and happy is making me happy for the first time in a long time and I don't want this moment to pass.

I let her have her time with the books and stepped outside to make some calls. I want to make this day special where there is only her and me and no one else.

By the time I finished the calls and went inside the library, Fay is engrossed in a book looking so cute and peaceful.

"Are you having fun?" I smirked seeing her startled by my voice. She always forgets about her surroundings when her nose is buried deep in her books.

I want to be deeply buried inside her warmth too, shaking my head to get rid of the naughty thoughts I took Fay towards the balcony or a sitting area where I had prepared a small surprise for her.

It was nearing dinner and I asked my parent's cook to bring us the food I asked him to prepare and which is my baby girl's favorite.

"Wow! It's a beautiful view, Ezra!" the sun is setting and the sky has been covered in a hue of orange color making everything around it picture-perfect. I got the serene view of Fay standing under the evening sky with Awe on her face made me pull out my phone and click a picture of her discreetly.

I am turning soft like a teenager crushing on her best friend and turning into a mushy bear.

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"I will kill for this view, baby girl, for every evening of my life." Our eyes meet passing the same electricity between us and she knows about which view I am talking about the way her cheeks turned red.

"You are turning so cheezy, Ezra." She pretended to cringe at my words but we both know that she is loving this side of me, a more vocal and expressive side of me.

"Come, let's sit and tear into the food. I asked for your favorite dishes." I guided her towards the table one of my men arranged like it was adorned on a date with aromatic food on it.

"Don't tell me you asked your cook to make Ramen for me." Her eyes lit up like little lights and she hurried towards the table and gaped at the contents of it.

"Yes, I did and also asked to prepare other Korean dishes too." Fay loves Korean food and she devours it as her life depended on it.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

"It's been so long since I had Ramen and Korean BBQ and I am starving." She didn't wait for me and started slurping the noodles into her pretty mouth and watching her eat like that hardened my dick and if people call me a pervert for that, I don't care. Every single thing Fay does turns me on more than I ever had been turned on in my life

I don't know what she did to me and is doing to me but I don't want to undo anything other than the mistakes I made in the past.

We ate in silence and when the last spoon of dessert was gulped down our throats Fay surprised me by asking about my parents.

In the past I would have avoided the topic but right now they don't affect me as much as they did in the past. They were the reason for my actions and cold and dead heart but I don't want to lose Fay anymore because of their bitter relationship and the memories which haunt me.

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"I don't know about them, last I was in their presence was when they divorced two years back and I cut ties with them." I can see sadness in Fay's eyes and also concern for me.

She knows how much I craved for a normal family like her but something are not meant for some people.

"I am so sorry, Ezra. I didn't know." she placed her warm hand on mine and rubbed her thumb over my hand making goosebumps arise all over my body. It feels so surreal that someone's touch causes this much reaction. "Don't be sorry, Fay! I don't need their toxicity in my life and I am an independent adult now and I started my own business and I am fine." I gave her a genuine smile which I know will calm her nerves down.

"Just to let you know that I will always be there for you no matter what the situation and circumstances are." I know every single word that comes out of her mouth is true and I know she will always stay beside me. My heart swells at her words and the urge to take her mouth and taste her tormented me but I need to slow down and let her breath around me.

"I know, baby girl." I kissed her hand, skimming my lips on her soft hands and enjoying the feel of her soft skin on my lips.

I am seeing everything with new eyes and in a new vision. Life feels beautiful and easy when Fay is beside me and I don't want to think about the last two years I had to endure without her but she doesn't know that I stalked her like a creep when she was away and I am not sorry for that.

"I loved every second of the time I spent with you today, Ezra and it's been a long time since we hung out together like this." She gave me a hug, surprising me when I dropped her at the house. We surrounded ourselves with our warmth and scent a bit longer and with a kiss on her head I said good night and waited till she was safely locked inside.

I am afraid of my demons wanting to sling her on my shoulders and take her back to the penthouse and show her how much I missed her but the small and sane part of me hissed at me to keep my ugly parts and demons away from her and the beautiful moments we are breathing in.

Fay Moore is the only one who encourages that sane part of me to grow big and pushes away the demons lurking in front.