111
VIVIAN
When I awoke, Jesse was gone.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. Our time together had been unlike any other I’d experienced. I couldn’t remember the last time a man managed to make me feel that way. Jesse was sexy and attentive and always seemed to know which of my buttons to press to drive me crazy.
And now he wasn’t here, and it sucked because I wanted to feel him hold me for just a few more minutes.
I looked at the clock on the bedside table. I’d fallen asleep for four hours. It was almost six in the evening, and I expected that Wally would be returning shortly from school. I had to make a hasty exit and get back to my room before he could suspect something was up.
I quickly gathered my clothes and pulled them on, combing my fingers through my hair in an attempt to straighten it. I checked my reflection in a nearby standing mirror in the corner of Jesse’s massive bedroom.
Something about me was different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, though.
I looked good. Practically glowing. My hair was mussed up, sure, but it kept falling in a super glam way. I inspected my neck closely for any signs of love bites but found none. Jesse was far too careful and considerate a man to leave marks. Deep down, however, it was kind of a letdown to see I had none. If Molly knew about this little dalliance, she’d tease me relentlessly.
I froze.
Molly.
Guilt ate away at me, gnawing at my heart.
How could I feel alright about all this? Here I was enjoying myself when she was out there somewhere, alone and afraid.
I scuttled out of Jesse’s bedroom in a hurry, heading to the living room. I found him sitting on the couch. His laptop, much to my surprise, was nowhere in sight. Maybe he was finally taking a day off. He was reading a good old-fashioned newspaper, his reading glasses nestled on the bridge of his nose.
I cleared my throat, not wanting to startle him.
When Jesse looked up, he smiled. “You’re up,” he observed.
“Yeah.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Good, I guess?”
Jesse patted the couch cushion beside him. I obediently walked over and took a seat to his right.
“That was fun.”
“It was.”
I sighed. “Is this the part where you tell me we’re not going to do it again?”
Jesse nodded gravely. “It is. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but we really can’t do that again.”
“Because of Wally?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “One of the reasons, yes.”
On some level, I could understand. It was difficult not to compare them to one another, and it was especially difficult not to compare them now that I wasn’t otherwise occupied. Wally was sweet and caring, but Jesse took those concepts and raised them to an entirely new level.
He knew what he was doing. He knew what he wanted. He knew what I wanted even when I didn’t. It was amazing, and a little voice in the back of my head was cheering for a repeat.
“You didn’t regret it, did you?” I asked because my brain didn’t have the benefit of an off switch. “Us…” I gestured vaguely between us.
“No, Vivian. I don’t regret it.”
“Then why can’t we do it again?”
Jesse folded his newspaper and set it aside, removing his reading glasses. “First and foremost, it’s a conflict of interest. Getting involved with you could put you at risk. To be able to do my job properly, I can’t afford any distractions. Growing attached could compromise the decisions I make when it comes to your safety.”
I hated to hear it, but I knew Jesse was right. He spoke with such clarity and sound logic that it was impossible to argue. “And Wally was the second reason?”
Jesse nodded. “What do you think’s going to happen if he finds out about us?”
“He’d be upset.”
“I’d rather avoid that conversation. What we did… It was a one-off, alright? It’s better this way.”
I huffed. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I gave in to my baser desires. To make matters worse, something new was bubbling just beneath the surface. Was it terrible of me that I only found Jesse that much sexier now that I knew he was off-limits? Why did I desire him more now that he’d drawn the line in the sand? I was going to respect his decision, but damn if I wasn’t already hooked.
“Okay,” I said softly. “I understand. We won’t speak of it.”
“Thank you.”
Just then, the elevator doors slid open. Wally emerged, backpack slung over one shoulder. He looked exhausted. I couldn’t help but notice the handful of pamphlets in his grip.
“Hey,” he greeted, looking between us suspiciously. “How’ve things been here?”
“Uneventful,” I lied fluidly. “Your father was just reading me my horoscope.”
Wally gave me an amused look. “You don’t believe in that crap.”
“True, but we were bored and I didn’t want to hear him read last week’s baseball statistics.”
“How was the group presentation?” Jesse asked.
Wally’s whole demeanor shifted when his father addressed him. He was suddenly very stiff and still, peeking at Jesse like a schoolboy being scolded. “It was fine. We won’t get the marks back until next week. I’m sure I did well, though.”
Jesse nodded his approval. “Good.”
“What do you have there?” I asked Wally, looking at the pamphlets.
He immediately stuffed them into his jacket pocket. “Nothing.”
“What are you hiding?” Jesse asked curiously, though he used a more serious tone than was necessary.
“It’s nothing important,” Wally answered in a small voice. “Just information about culinary schools in the area.”
“This again?” Jesse snapped. “I thought we agreed to drop this.”
“I didn’t agree to drop anything.”
“You’re not going.”
Wally’s jaw tightened and released before he spoke. “Dad, can’t we talk about this?”
“We’re not having this discussion-” Jesse tilted his head in my direction “-in front of our guest.”
Wally stepped forward, holding up a pamphlet. “Just hear me out, okay? There’s this great program in New
York. Tuition for a full-time program would cost a fraction of what it’d cost to send me to medical school. The deadline to apply is next week, so I thought I could fly out and-”
Jesse rose from his seat, slow and in control and brooding. I remained seated, awkwardly trying to shrink into myself. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to see this side of him. It was like staring at an eclipse, frightening yet beautiful. He overshadowed the little moon that Wally was, staring down his nose at his son with a level of frustration I’d never witnessed. Even when I disobeyed his orders and ran out to help him when we were being attacked at my apartment, Jesse never got this upset with me.
“Do you honestly think cooking food all day is going to help you make a living? Long hours stuffed inside a hot kitchen, doing the bidding of others. Does that sound like a career to you? You may as well flip burgers at a fast-food joint because there’s no difference.”
My ears burned with second-hand embarrassment for Wally. The window to excuse myself had long since passed, so I was stuck here, longingly looking in the direction of the guest bedroom and wishing for an escape.
“You’re too smart to work in a kitchen,” Jesse continued. “You’d be wasting your talents. Wouldn’t you rather be saving lives as a doctor than having patrons snap their fingers at you because their steak’s undercooked?”
Wally stared at his father for what felt like an eternity. The pamphlet he had was now a crumpled mess in his fist.
I’d seen him stressed before. We were classmates in a couple of introductory courses in our first year of college, so I got to see firsthand how he dealt with extreme pressure. Last-minute cram sessions were a breeze for him. No question is too complicated, and no essay answer is too long. But this?
This was white hot rage.
He stormed off, muttering under his breath. When he slammed his bedroom door closed, it shook the whole penthouse.
I looked at Jesse, frustrated. “Where’s the harm in at least listening to him?”
He shook his head. “This is a family matter, Vivian. I’d prefer it if you didn’t get involved.”
My heart stung. Was this where we stood? Did I even have any right to be mad?
Yes. Yes, I did because Wally was, first and foremost, my friend. Regardless of what happened between Jesse and me, I knew when someone was being a jerk.
“Have you ever even seen him cook?” I asked, a bit more bite to my tone than I intended.
“No. Have you?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. He cooked dinner for me all the time when we were still seeing each other. It was delicious. He’s very talented.”
Jesse froze. I wasn’t sure if it was because I dared to speak up or because I mentioned the fact that Wally and I dated. Either way, it was awkward as hell. Not knowing what else to do, I shuffled off down the hall to check on him, leaving Jesse alone to brood.
I knocked on Wally’s door. “Hey, it’s me.”
He opened it, but only by a crack. “Hey.”
“Are you okay? I just wanted to check on you.”
“Dandy. Sorry, you had to see that.”
“It’s fine. For what it’s worth, I think you’d do great at culinary school.”
“Thanks. Doesn’t matter, though. He won’t pay for me to go, and I certainly can’t afford to pay for it.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
Wally laughed bitterly. “I appreciate the offer, but it’d be like talking to a brick wall.”
“I don’t know. I think I could get through to him.”
“Don’t waste your breath, Viv. I’ll just have to figure something else out.”
“Don’t give up, okay? I know you’d be a fantastic chef.”Text © owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
“You’re the only person who believes that.”
“Because I’m in your corner. Always will be.”
He gave me a wry smile. “Thanks, Viv. You’re the best.”
“I try.”