Feelings I can’t control
Loukas POV
When I heard Rotimi mention an invitation that had been delivered to my door, I felt a surge of rage rush through me. I felt the need to punch something or even someone, most especially my step-mother. I pictured her face and frowned as I thought about punching her. My stepfamily had the audacity to send me an invitation to the grand opening of the hotel I designed, drew, and even paid for. They cast me aside because they thought that I was useless, but I was going to make them pay. I was going to make them have a taste of how unbearable they’ve made life.
Hillary, on the other hand, did everything she could to make the therapy work, but I found flaws in everything she did. I was acting like an asshole because I didn’t trust her yet.
I barely trust anyone.
My mood changed when she took me for a walk outside the mansion. It was the first time I ever stepped outside to take a look at the clear skies. I don’t remember the last time I sat on the chairs under the tree. “The breeze smells fresh!” She exclaimed beside me and turned to me with a smile on her face. Her smile sent my heart racing, but then my ex-wife’s face appeared in my head and I quickly averted my eyes from hers.
“What are you even saying?” I asked, referring to the breeze. There was nothing about the breeze that made her smile as if she had accomplished her goal. To me, sitting under the tree was a waste of time.
“Isn’t the breeze fresh?” She asked, and I rolled my eyes. “Why are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Rolling your eyes,” she sighed, pointing to my eyes. “You sound like your entire life was boring,” she exclaimed as she adjusted her seat. Placing her head against the tree, she closed her eyes. “What were you like before the accident?”
I stared at her face down to get her lips. We’ve only kissed once, by mistake, and ever since then, I’ve wanted more from her. I wanted to kiss her lips yet again until we were both out of breath. My hand longed to touch her face, and I stretched my hand to touch her beautiful face, but her eyes fluttered open and she pouted. “What are you doing?”
I cleared my throat and pulled back my hand. “Nothing,” I replied, turning away. “Why do you want to know about my past?” I placed my hand on the wheel walker and pushed it back and forward. “My past is off limits, Hilary because it’s filled with anguish, pain, distress, and sadness,” If she could have noticed, there was a hint of sadness in my tone. If only she could have noticed that. “I don’t have a memory of my childhood or how the accident happened! I’m glad because I don’t need to know about my past. ”
“What about your parents?” Yet another question I was trying so hard to avoid. I turned to face her with my glaring eyes, hoping that she would see it and understand that I didn’t want to talk about my parents, but she asked another question again. “Did your memories of your parents disappear too?”Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
“Stop,” I said, clenching my left fists.” Asking questions that I don’t want to answer,” I said through gritted teeth. I said, “Just do your job as my therapist rather than asking questions that are off limits, Hillary.” I clicked my tongue and tried to stand up with the wheel walker’s support, but I lost my balance and almost fell, but Hillary jumped to her feet and helped me. Her tiny arms were wrapped around my waist and the connection of our skin together sent another spark throughout my body. I haven’t felt like this in years and I had thought that I wouldn’t be affected by her, but I was. I stared at her like a sex-starved man.
“Are you okay?” She asked, with her arms still wrapped around my waist. “Do you want to go inside?” She asked.
Still staring at her without blinking an eye, I leaned closer to her and she closed her eyes, thinking that I was going to kiss her. I had that in mind, but not yet. Instead of kissing her, I removed a leaf from her head. It must have fallen off when she placed her head against the wall. I could feel her heart beat as my hand brushed her chest. I told her, “There is a leaf on your head,” and I leaned backwards.
Hillary opened her eyes and cleared her throat. “Right,” she laughed. “A leaf on my head,” she laughed again, touching her head.
Was she enjoying this? I thought as I stared at her, confused by her action. Why was she acting like she didn’t feel the sexual tension between us? I frowned at her and pointed towards the mansion. “Take me back inside,” I ordered.
“Right,” she said as she assisted me in putting my right hand on the wheel walker and pushing it forward.” Pushing it forward yourself would also help you regain movement in your right hand,” I cleared my throat as her hand encircled my waist.
“Is there a reason why your hand is on my waist?” I liked that her hand was around my waist, but I didn’t like how it made me feel.
It made me feel as if I had never touched a woman before, which was entirely not a lie, because the woman I had ever been with was my ex-wife, and ever since we broke up four years ago, I haven’t touched any woman, so it’s normal that my body would react to her touch. I’m only human, and as a man, I had my needs.
“I was trying to help you push the walker faster, but if you don’t want it, that’s fine,” she said as she removed her hand, which I regretted. Now, I wanted her hands around my waist.
“Doing this everyday would help you, Loukas,” She clapped her hands as we made our way into the mansion. “How do you feel today?” She asked as we headed into the elevator.
How do I feel? That was a tricky question because I had no idea how to answer it. Having her around me made me feel like I should be able to walk the next day. But if Hillary was looking for an answer like happy or delightful, I didn’t feel any of that. “How do you feel, huh?” She nudged me on the shoulder.
Yet another skin connection. “Don’t do that again, “I warned her.”
“Oh!” She cleared her throat. “As your therapist, I just wanted to know how you felt after everything that had happened today. It’s your first therapist, so… ” She joined her hands together and smiled at me.
I wished I could smile like her.
“The therapist was okay.” That was all I responded with. The elevator doors opened and she walked me to my office.
“Hey Rotimi, you are here!” She was the first to notice Rotimi, who was seated at the front of my desk. In his hand was his phone, and the way he scrolled through it, one would think that he had a quarrel with someone.
“I saw you two heading outside a while ago, and I didn’t want to disturb you. How was therapy? “he placed his phone in his pocket.
I didn’t respond as I pushed the wheel walker towards my chair and, with Rotimi’s help, I sat down. “So?” Rotimi looked from me to Hillary.
“Loukas said it was nice therapy,” Hillary answered.
Rotimi’s eyes widened and he burst into a smile. “Amazing!” he clapped her hands. “Great to hear. It’s your first day, Lou, and you are already enjoying yourself! ” That was a stupid thing to say. Rotimi always finds a way to say things that don’t fit into the conversation. How does he expect me to enjoy myself when I have faced torture? Hillary’s touch made me feel things, and it was hard to control my inner emotions.
None of us said a word for thirty seconds as we all stared at one another. When it had turned to a staring competition, I cleared my throat to end the silent torture and pointed outside my office. “You may go to Hillary. You have a lot of unboxing to do,” I told her.
“Right,” she said with a clap of her hands and a smile at Rotimi. “See you later,” she said again in front of me.
She didn’t even wave at me when I was her boss. She only waved at Rotimi, I thought over and over again. I frowned at her as she bowed her head to me and left the office. “You’ll get older if you continue frowning,” Loukas said. Rotimi sat in front of me and bought out his phone. He stretched it towards me and I grabbed it. “It’s all over the news,” Loukas said. “The merger between your company and Alit Construction Group has been finalized! ” He announced
I frowned as I read through the news headline. “CEO Caleb Whitemore had signed a multi-billion dollar deal with Alit after their merging.” I chuckled and gripped the phone in my hand. “How dare they do that to me!” I screamed and threw the phone in my hand toward the wall. “I may be paralyzed, but I’ve spent years planning that hotel and now they tossed me aside!” I shouted and pushed the files on the desk to the ground. “After all, I have done!”
“Calm down, Lou! It’s not too late to change your mind and win the board of directors over. ”
“Won them over?” I scoffed. “No one knows me, Rotimi! I’m practically a ghost and that was why Amanda took it as a chance against me. “I placed a hand on my beating chest and inhaled deeply. “I am not going to let them win. I’ll reveal their scheme at the gala party! I’ll make them pay! ” I yelled and slammed my hand on the table. “They are going to regret this!”
“What are you going to do, Lou?” Rotimi sounded concerned. “I hate to see you like this,” he pointed out.
“I am going to take everything back,” I declared and slammed my hand on the desk over and over again. “I’m going to take back what they stole from me!” That wasn’t a mere declaration because I was going to find any possible means of making them pay. “They’ll regret everything,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll give them a last chance at the gala night. Let’s see if they’ll accept my offer. “