Forbidden Desire

I stopped to think and tried to remember the last time we had laughed together, but couldn’t, so I just shrugged.

“Things with Jason are… Complicated… But he makes me happy,” I said.

He stared at me, not looking entirely convinced, so I continued, “We have a lot of fun together.”

“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” he asked.

Now it was my turn to look away and fiddle with the food.

“Are you going to tell me what happened after that day at the mall?” he inquired.

“Wow, that would be a long story…”

“I always have time for you, Jane… You should know that,” he said.

He always left me speechless. I realized he wouldn’t give up, so I told him everything from that day, leaving him shocked, especially about what happened at the ball.

“Wow, I still can’t believe Misun did that…”

“Yeah…”

“And his mother, wow, what an unbearable woman. Who does she think she is to talk to you like that?”

“Well, she’s his mother, right…”

“She could be the Queen of England for all I care, Jane. You can’t let people belittle you. You’re a beautiful woman and a wonderful artist… I bet you looked stunning at that party, and they probably did all that because they felt intimidated. If I were there, they would have heard a piece of my mind.”

“Take it easy, Superman.”

I ended up laughing, and he put his hand on his waist, puffing his chest in the Superman pose, and I couldn’t help but throw my head back with laughter.

“But, it seems like in the middle of all this mess, you’ve got an admirer, huh… The Doctor seemed quite interested in you,” he said, his smile fading.

“Yeah, but I have no interest in him.”

“No?”

He looked at me, and I shook my head negatively, making him smile.

“The truth is, I haven’t had eyes for anyone else since I met Jason…”

He lowered his head, and I noticed he was a little sad.

“Despite the problems we have, I love him and want to do everything to make it work… Especially now that…”

I realized I hadn’t talked about this with anyone and fell silent.

“Now that?” he prompted.

He waited for my response, and I looked at him. I thought about lying, but he exuded so much reassurance that I decided to tell him. I smiled, and soon it reflected on his face.

“Well, I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone… Not even Jason… This is a secret.”

“Alright.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“On the day of the ball, I ended up feeling sick, and they took me to the hospital… There I found out that I’m two weeks pregnant.”

For a moment, the smile on his face faded as if he were disappointed, but then he hugged me, congratulating me.

“Wow! That’s wonderful, Jane… I feel honored to have been the first person to know, and I want you to know that you can count on me for anything. But why haven’t you told Jason yet?”

“Well, at first I was afraid of his reaction, and then I decided to make it a surprise… I’m going to tell him on Saturday… On the day of the contest.”

I was so excited about this that just talking about it made me smile like a fool, but I froze when I saw his eyes sparkling as he seemed to admire every part of my face.

“I’m happy to see you smiling like this… He doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have you, and now this child too… I hope he appreciates it.”

“Me too…”

I looked at the clock and was startled to see how long it had been since I arrived here; it was almost time for my class. We finalized some details before I left. He agreed with the idea of me working from home, but said he would come by every day to check on my progress. I think that way Jason won’t feel so jealous, and I’ll be able to work in peace. I left there after sorting out all the details with a smile on my face. Being with Jihoon always cheered me up, and with his support, I felt like I could do anything. After class, I had dinner with Jason, enthusiastically telling him all the details of the project, and he felt relieved to know that I would be working from home. He still felt jealous of Jihoon, and the next day when he came over, Jason wasn’t very friendly with him. We ended up having an argument about it, but soon he apologized, and in the following days, Jihoon always came when Jason wasn’t there. We spent hours in the studio, and throughout the house, you could hear my laughter. Being with Jihoon was as easy as breathing; I didn’t need to measure my words. Most of the time, I didn’t even need to speak because just by looking at me, he seemed to know what I was thinking. Our connection was intense, sometimes even scary. I had never met anyone who made me feel so good before and admired my work so much. I was painting like I had never painted before; inspiration seemed to never leave me, and every day I created a new piece for Ji’s album, but each time I made a new one, he liked it more than the previous one. I was running out of space to hang so many paintings, but I felt great exploring all my creativity. When the day of the contest finally arrived, I realized how nervous Jason was about the surprise he kept talking about but hadn’t revealed yet. When I saw him coming out of the closet already dressed in a black suit, I was breathless. He looked handsome as always, but I was always amazed at how handsome he was. I finished my makeup and looked at myself in the mirror, admiring my curves in the long black and basic dress I was wearing. This was an important night both professionally and in my personal life, and I smiled when I remembered the small surprise box I had prepared for him, which was now in my bag. I could hardly wait to surprise him, and despite being nervous about the contest, I was even more nervous to see his reaction.

“Shall we, my love?” he asked, pulling me out of my reverie and planting a kiss on my neck.

“Let’s go, because this time I can’t be late, everything has to be perfect,” I replied with a smile.

“It will be, my love… Just stay calm and forget that people will be watching you.”

“And you? Aren’t you nervous about posing in front of several people, critics, and the press covering the event?” I asked.

He smiled and pulled me close.

“I am, but for you, I’ll do anything.”

My smile widened, and we kissed again before leaving the room.

“Let’s go, because there’s still the surprise,” he said.

“Yes, and my surprise too,” I replied.

I could hardly believe how happy I was as we left the house heading towards the car waiting for us. I was grinning like a fool, and I don’t think I had ever seen Jason so happy. Just before we got into the car, Jason’s phone started ringing, and he took it out of his pocket, looking confused at the screen.

“Seoul Police Department?” he read aloud.

“You better answer, love. It could be important,” I suggested.

He seemed to think for a moment before answering. The moment he did, his expression changed completely. He seemed nervous and lost.

“What? What do you mean? Calm down, speak slowly… What happened?”

He seemed desperate, listening to something that frightened him, as he glanced at me momentarily, his face turning pale and disoriented. When he seemed to snap back to reality, it was as if he had been punched and didn’t know how to recover. I was getting more nervous and checked the time, realizing we needed to leave soon. I pointed at the clock, and he raised his index finger, asking for a minute as he listened to the other person. He took a deep breath, running his hand through his forehead as if unsure of what to do. He sighed and seemed to give up.

“Listen, calm down… Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”

My whole body trembled at hearing that. What did he mean? He was going to pick up who? We didn’t have time for this now. I needed to get to the college auditorium soon, and I needed him to pose for me. I looked at him confused, noticing his eyes filled with sorrow. He hung up the phone, and it seemed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

“Jane, I…”

He couldn’t finish, a lump forming in his throat.

“Misun…”

When he said her name, my world fell apart.

“My mother kicked her out when she found out I signed the divorce, and she had to go back to Siwoo’s house, but they had an argument, and he hit her, and now she’s at the police station and has nowhere to go. I need…”

I looked at him in disbelief that all this was happening on my day.

“You need what, Jason? To run every time Misun calls you?”

“No, love, you don’t understand…”

I chuckled cynically, interrupting him.

“No, Jason… You seem not to understand how important this contest is to me. I’m going to lose if I don’t bring a model.”

He approached me, taking my face in his hands and said firmly, “No, love, you won’t lose. You’re the third one to paint, right? So, there’s time for me to quickly go get Misun, leave her somewhere, and rush back. I won’t lose you.”

“No, Jason…”

“Jane, I promise I’ll be there… You’re the most important thing in the world to me, and I promise not to let you down!”

I had never seen him speak with such certainty. I was scared, but at that moment, all I could do was believe in him.

“You promise?”

“I promise, my love… Go ahead so you’re not late, and I’ll meet you there. I wouldn’t miss this for anything in the world. I love you!”

He kissed me passionately, and I could feel how sincere he was.

“Okay, but don’t take too long… My whole future depends on this.”

“I won’t!”

He opened the car door for me, and the driver smiled at me. Soon, I left, seeing Jason running to the garage to get another car through the rearview mirror, and I said a small prayer.

“Oh God… Help me so that nothing goes wrong…”