Forbidden Desire

He stares at me, and I notice tears streaming down his handsome face, but I know that nothing I said here hurt him as much as it hurt me. I stepped out of the shower, leaving him alone there. I dried myself off, put on my pajamas, and went to bed, lying down. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, although I knew it would be difficult. After some time, I heard Jason coming out of the bathroom, already showered. I was lying on my side, facing away from him, wanting to avoid looking at him. He climbed onto the bed, and despite everything, all I could think about was how horrible it was to sleep with him without feeling his arms around me. As if he had read my mind, I felt him gradually approaching, as if studying my reaction, and then he hugged me from behind, forming a spoon.

“I just lay there in the arms of the man I loved, knowing that he was now also the father of my child, and to be honest, I didn’t even know how he would react to that. Despite my mind racing, exhaustion soon overtook me, and before I knew it, I fell into a deep sleep. The next day, I woke up to Jason leaving kisses on my neck, and I recoiled. I smelled perfume and noticed by his cold skin that he had just showered. When I turned around, I saw a breakfast tray on the bed with a flower on it. I stared at him, and he just shrugged.”

“The doctor said you need to eat well,” he said.

I simply nodded and started devouring a bowl of fruit salad with honey that was there. He sat on the bed and seemed to think for a moment about what to say.

“About yesterday…”

“Jason, please…”

“No, Jane… I’ll just say that I know I messed up and that you’re not able to forgive me right now, but I don’t mind waiting for your forgiveness. I was serious every time I said I want to be with you, and I’m saying it again.”

I had no resistance to those beautiful brown eyes seeking absolution, but I still wasn’t ready, and I didn’t know if I could forgive him, so I just continued to drink my coffee.

“I have to go to the company to solve some problems, but I’ll be back in time for us to go to the exhibition.”

Damn… The exhibition! With everything that had happened, I had completely forgotten.

“Is your aunt coming with us?”

“No, she said an art exhibition is too fancy for her.”

I rolled my eyes, and he smiled.

“But she’ll miss your exhibition? That can’t be! Did you try to convince her?”

“I tried, but you know my aunt…”

I said, taking a bite of white cheese and bringing it to my mouth.

“Okay, I’ll try to convince her… Now I have to go… See you later.”

He gave me a kiss on the mouth and another on my head before leaving the room. I had so many thoughts in my head, and as the day went on, I only became more anxious about the exhibition. I had no real hope of winning this contest, but now that I knew I was pregnant, maybe I needed this money more than I thought. I spent the day practically avoiding my aunt because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide my pregnancy from her for long. Jason messaged me all day asking if I was eating, but as the time approached for us to leave for the exhibition, he wasn’t responding to my messages. I waited until I was almost late, and when I got irritated and went to the driver asking him to take me, he finally arrived, stopping the car in front of Hoojin’s car. He came to me, taking my hand and helping me into his car. As he circled around and got into the car, he began to explain.”

“Sorry, I know I’m late, but there were some problems at the company…”

As he explained, several accusations came to my mind. You knew how important this was to me! If it were for Jinhee, you wouldn’t be late! I thought of saying a thousand things, but I was so mentally exhausted that I only had the strength to nod and kept my focus on the road the whole way. To make matters worse, we encountered an unusual traffic jam. By this point, I was almost asking him to turn around so I could go home and forget about this contest, since I figured I wouldn’t win anyway. I observed the royal blue formal dress I was wearing, made of a structured fabric that exuded a seriousness and professionalism that didn’t match my nearly two-hour delay. Jason was getting increasingly nervous with the traffic and my silence. I only gave short answers, and I could tell he was starting to get desperate.”

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

He said when we arrived at the venue, and I finally looked at him, saying coldly.

“Yeah, you never do…”

I got out of the car, hastily entering the venue, which was crowded with photographers outside. After Jason made his way through them, we finally got in, and I was surprised by the size of the gallery. There were several paintings scattered around, but I hadn’t seen mine yet. They were all without names, and I didn’t understand what was happening until the teacher in charge of the contest spotted me and left the group of people she was talking to, smiling from ear to ear at me.”

“Jane, where have you been, girl?”

“Sorry, teacher, I got stuck in traffic.”

“Ah, everyone did, it was almost impossible to get here. But the important thing…”

She paused for a moment, then continued.

“… is that your paintings were a huge success, and you’ve made it to the next round of the contest!”

“What?”

I could hardly believe it as she congratulated me, and Jason seemed as surprised as I was. He pulled me into a hug, congratulating me.”

“I told you your paintings were wonderful, but you really exceeded expectations.”

“And… And where are my paintings?”

“They’re in the main hall; I wanted to give your paintings some prominence because I knew their potential.”

She led us to the main hall, where my paintings were displayed in an irregular pattern alongside others, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. This was a lifelong dream, and now it was coming true.”

“But teacher, why are the paintings without the artists’ names?”

“Because I wanted the voting to be fair, I didn’t want the judges to have any favoritism or anything like that, so I scattered the paintings so it wouldn’t be possible to recognize which ones were by the same artists, and the voting would be fair. Furthermore, for those who buy the paintings…”

“What? Are the paintings for sale?”

“Yes, I think I mentioned that in the class where you were late the day you handed me the canvases for the exhibition.”

“So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll buy one of my wife’s paintings to support her art.”

He said, looking proud, but before he could turn away, my teacher interrupted him.”

“I’m sorry to inform you that you’re too late. All of Miss Oliveira’s paintings were sold to the same buyer, who is also the sponsor of this contest. He was enchanted by your paintings, and even without knowing they were yours, he bought them all, and only your paintings. It’s incredible.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening; it seemed like a dream. The teacher handed me a check for 200, 000 dollars, and I froze at the sight of this amount; I couldn’t imagine that my art was worth so much.”

“After buying the paintings, he came to me and asked to talk about them, and when he found out they were all by the same artist, he was so enchanted that he said he wanted to make you a job offer.”

“A job?”

I looked at Jason, who was listening as surprised and happy with everything as I was.”

“Yes! He’s a very famous musician and wants someone to do the cover art for his next album.”

“And who is this very famous musician?”

“So, he doesn’t want to attract too much attention, but since you’re going to work with him, I can tell you. It’s Venom!”

She said as if it were something impressive, and it must have been because Jason widened his eyes as if he couldn’t believe it. Since I didn’t know anything about the music scene here, I just smiled because regardless of who he was, the fact that he liked my paintings was more than I could dream of.”

“He was looking forward to meeting you! I’ll look for him and bring him here.”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

She turned away excitedly, and I could hardly believe it. I stared at Jason, putting my hand to my mouth, totally surprised, and he smiled at me, hugging me tightly.”

“See? I knew you were talented! Congratulations, my girl!”

He kissed me, and I felt like our kiss wasn’t fitting. It was then that I remembered him kissing Jinhee… For a moment, I had forgotten about it, forgotten how hurt I was, how my heart was bleeding, but it seemed that just thinking about it made me want to cry again. He looked at me and seemed to realize what I was thinking because his expression turned sad, but then he smiled.”

“Today is your day! We have to celebrate! I’ll go get champagne for us to toast, I’ll be right back.”

He left me alone there, admiring the painting I had painted unconsciously. More than ever, I identified with that cold and dark planet, but unlike the painting where there were those orange-toned hairs to illuminate it, I was in the darkest darkness without any light to illuminate me. For a moment, I found myself thinking about how much I wanted to see that man with the bright smile and orange hair again. And it was at that moment that I heard my teacher’s voice, and as I turned to face her, I could hardly believe it.”

“Jane, this is the sponsor of this contest, Kwon Jihoon.”

My legs went weak when I laid my eyes on the man in front of me and saw that he was the same man who had comforted me that day; he was the man with the orange hair and a smile that could cheer me up on my worst day.”

“Jane… Is it you?”

Upon hearing his voice, my eyes filled with tears, and I couldn’t react except to approach him, and without even questioning, he just enveloped me in a hug so tight that for a few seconds, I felt safe, as if nothing in the world could hurt me. He hugged me as if there was no one else there, as if I were a newly hatched bird under the wings of its protector; his lips went to my forehead, where he left a kiss as a sign of protection, and I just snuggled even closer, closing my eyes and allowing myself to smell him, which calmed me so much. I tried to remember when was the last time I felt so at peace, until I realized it was that day, in his arms, and then I smiled, but my joy was short-lived because soon a harsh voice was present in the room.”

“What does this mean?”

I just opened my eyes and saw several people staring at us, looking confused, and among them, I saw Jason holding two champagne glasses while seeming to want to shoot daggers at the man who was hugging me.”

“Can I know what’s going on here?”