Forbidden Desire

As soon as we arrived, I took a deep breath before getting out of the car, knowing that the result of this exam could change my life forever. We went to the reception asking for Dr. Kim, and Jinhee seemed relieved to hear that he was still on duty. We went to his office and waited for him to attend to a few people who were ahead of us. There was a couple in front of us, and they seemed so happy; Jinhee noticed that I was looking as the man caressed the woman’s belly, which was already quite large, and they celebrated when the baby kicked.

“I still can’t imagine what it will be like when my belly is this big…”

I ended up smiling unknowingly, but I tried to disguise it.

“It will look like a matchstick holding a little ball.”

She laughed and lightly bumped her shoulder against mine.

“Oh Jason… I’m going to be the most beautiful pregnant woman in Seoul!”

She said, convinced, and I ended up laughing. She took my hand, which was on my lap, and when I looked at her, she smiled, but I soon let go of her hand. I couldn’t allow her to get closer; I couldn’t allow this to become a problem with Jane… I had already made my decision, and this baby didn’t change anything. When the door opened, Dr. Kim didn’t greet me with his usual smile, and that bothered me a little.

“You can come in, Jinhee can lie down on the examination table.”

He said dryly, and I found the older man’s attitude strange since he was always so courteous.

“Dr. Kim? Is everything okay?”

He nodded and took materials to draw blood from Jinhee.

“Yes, I’m just a little tired because I’m at the end of my shift. I’ll just see you and then go home.”

I nodded because that was a justifiable answer. He drew her blood in silence and examined her non-existent belly. After some time, he headed to the door.

“I’ll be back in twenty minutes with the results.”

He said simply and left. I stared at Jinhee, confused, and she shrugged. I had never experienced such a long wait before; the minutes seemed to drag on, and when Dr. Kim returned with the papers, he had a forced smile on his face.

“Congratulations! You are almost four weeks pregnant.”

Those words left me speechless while she was so happy that she clapped and pulled me into a hug. I was totally unresponsive, and I knew this would change everything.

“No, but… This doesn’t prove anything! This child may not be mine! Can we do a DNA test?”

I said, and Dr. Kim seemed nervous as he nodded.

“Of course, the test can be done but only after the twelfth week. And it’s a very invasive test, therefore high risk for the mother and the baby.”

I stared at him completely shocked, not knowing what to do.

“God forbid I put our child’s life at risk… When he’s born, we’ll do the test and…”

She kept talking, but I couldn’t think of anything, only how I was going to tell Jane.

Mr. Kim – The ideal would be for you to start prenatal care as soon as possible because this pregnancy may be risky.

That made me snap out of the trance I was in, and even if the child wasn’t mine, it made my heart ache.

“Risky? Why?”

“Many pregnancies that occur shortly after a long period of contraceptive use can be risky, and besides, Jinhee is well below the recommended weight, so I recommend rest, a good diet, and these vitamins here. And of course, I don’t need to tell you to avoid any stress.”

He started writing on a piece of paper and handed it to me along with Jinhee’s test results. I even opened the tests to see if there was any mistake, if they had switched the files, but no… Everything was correct, and now, on top of everything, I would have to take care of Jinhee and prevent her from getting upset. I left Dr. Kim’s office completely numb, and we went to the pharmacy floor where I handed the prescription to the attendant who smiled and went to the shelf behind her to look for the medication.

“Oh… I’m getting thirsty.”

“Every time we go out…”

I sighed, and she wrinkled her nose.

“It’s not my fault if I like to stay well hydrated!”

I rolled my eyes, and she smiled.

“You sound like a camel…”

She opened her mouth looking offended, and I laughed.

“Stop it, Jinhee… I’m the mother of your child, you can’t deny me water.”

She said, pouting, and I shrugged.

“There’s a water fountain right there, Jinhee…”Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

I pointed to the hallway from where we came, and after she stared at me for about two seconds, expecting me to fetch it, she stomped her feet in a small tantrum and went to the water fountain. I stood there looking at my own hands holding the test, still not believing that this was happening, but I ended up smiling when I read that it was about three weeks and should be the size of a peanut. A familiar voice was present, and when I focused on his smile, I snapped out of my trance, realizing that Dr. Hoojin was standing in front of me wearing his white coat.

“Hi, I see Jane already told you the news!”

He said, seeming happy, but I looked at him confused.

“What?”

“Jane… Aren’t these her tests? Although she didn’t need to do another one since I did it that day. Is this for prenatal care? She had told me she would call to schedule but never did! Where is she?”

He looked around looking for her, but I saw his smile fade when he looked behind me, and following his gaze, I saw Jinhee.

“W-what? Jane is pregnant?”

She was as shocked as I was, and we both stared at the young doctor in front of us who scratched his head nervously.

“Yes, about three weeks. Didn’t you know yet?”

He said, looking at me, and I shook my head. I was completely thrown off, now all those nausea, dizziness, and fainting made sense. But only one thing didn’t make sense. Why didn’t she tell me?

“But… Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He took a deep breath and shrugged.

“I have to respect my patient’s wishes. That was her decision, not mine…”

I leaned on the counter, feeling my world spinning. I was going to be a father… Of two children… With two different women… The pharmacy attendant called Jinhee’s name and handed me the medication.

“So, are you pregnant too? God help this child.”

“What?”

He shrugged and simply left.

“I have to go, but don’t argue with Jane, I bet she had a good reason not to tell you about her pregnancy.”

He left, leaving me lost in my own chaos.

“Jason? Are you okay? You look pale…”

I shook my head, and she approached.

“No! None of this makes sense… Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

Jinhee laughed and shrugged.

“For me, it’s pretty clear… She didn’t tell you because the child might not be yours! It must be Venom’s… Pretty smart of her! She hit the jackpot.”

I stared at her totally shocked, and she shrugged.

“What? Are you going to tell me it doesn’t make sense? Why else would she hide this from you knowing that you’re dying to have a child?”

I shook my head. That couldn’t be true.

“No, Jinhee… That’s impossible… She was a virgin!”

Jinhee burst into laughter a little too loud, attracting the attention of some people there, and I looked at her confused.

“Virgin? Brazilian? Hot like that? With her age? For God’s sake, Jason, you can’t be that naive…”

She was mocking, but I remained firm, shaking my head.

“No… I’m sure! She bled…”

Jinhee’s laughter was present again.

“Jason, for God’s sake, she probably tricked you with some leftover menstrual blood and said she was a virgin… You’re so naive, Jason…”

I stopped to think, but it wasn’t possible… She was too tight; I felt it the first time I entered her, felt that not even a needle would pass. No! I was sure she was a virgin, but that didn’t change the fact that I needed an explanation.

“That’s enough, Jinhee, let’s go home, and I don’t want to hear another word from you about this. This is between me and Jane…”

I walked away, and I heard her grumble.

“And Venom…”

I looked back, reprimanding her, and she made a gesture as if she were closing her own mouth and throwing away the key. We went to the car, and the trip back home was as silent as possible. When we arrived home, I got out of the car as quickly as possible and went straight into the house, shouting Jane’s name.

“Jane! Jane! Where are you?”

I heard her voice coming from the studio, and I ran there.

“I’m here, love!”

I arrived at the studio seeing her looking nervous.

“And then? Is she really pregnant?”

“She is… And apparently, you too!”

She stared at me totally shocked for a few seconds but soon looked at the floor.

“How? How did you find out?”

“In the most unpleasant way possible! That little doctor told me!”

She closed her eyes as if trying to process everything that was happening.

“Now I ask you… Why? Why Jane? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She didn’t seem to have an answer, and although I didn’t want to believe what Jinhee said, seeing her hesitate made my heart ache.

“Jane… Please… Tell me there’s a good explanation? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She lowered her head and started crying, sending chills down my spine. Could it be possible that Jinhee was right and this child wasn’t mine?

“Jane?”

She started sobbing, and when I was about to speak, she interrupted me.

“Because I didn’t want you to stay with me just because I’m pregnant… I found out about this pregnancy the day I saw you kissing Jinhee… The day I doubted your feelings the most. The day reality hit me like a runaway train, and I saw that you still loved Jinhee!”

She hit me hard with her words, and I could feel how hurt she was, but now I was the one hurt.

“So what, Jane? You were going to hide this until when?”

“I was going to tell you on the day of the contest! I prepared a beautiful box with a painting and with the test, but then everything went wrong… I… I just wanted to tell you when I was sure!”

She spoke faster and faster, and when I realized it, I ended up yelling.

“SURE OF WHAT?”

She looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes looking so sad that I just wanted to comfort her. She looked up for a few seconds trying to control her tears, and when she finally spoke, her voice came out weak.

“That you love me!”

“And you didn’t have that certainty yesterday? When I asked you to marry me? When we were making love?”

She shook her head, and it hurt too much. It hurt that she simply couldn’t see how much I loved her.

“So I don’t know what else to do, Jane…”

“I… I just wanted to wait for all this with Jinhee to pass… I wanted to know if she was really pregnant… I wanted to be sure…”

I stared at her, and for a moment, I felt angry when a thought crossed my mind.

“So yesterday when you said you were leaving…”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence because I was so horrified, and she lowered her head, looking guilty.

“You were going to leave with my child in your belly and weren’t going to tell me anything?”

I asked, and she didn’t answer, crying even more.

“ANSWER!”

I ended up yelling, and she looked at me frightened before nodding.

“I can’t believe you were going to do this to me… Look at everything you could do against me… This would be the worst!”

She looked at me appearing regretful and started crying even more as she tried to approach me.

“Sorry, love, I…”

“Sorry Jane? Do you think I can forgive the fact that you were going to disappear from the world and take my child with you? Was that what you were planning?”

She shook her head, and I moved away from her.

“No, love, I didn’t plan any of this, I…”

“Enough, Jane! I don’t want to hear anything now!”