Forbidden Desire

We lay there for a while, enjoying the moment until I noticed her yawning and her eyes getting droopy.

“Shall we take a bath?” I suggested.

She looked at me and smiled, melting my heart.

“In the tub?” she asked.

“Good choice, I love the idea. But I thought you were tired,” I said.

“I am, but I want more of you!” she replied, climbing back onto me, and I smiled.

“I’m all yours!” I assured her.

“And I’m all yours!” she echoed.

I lifted her in my arms, and she giggled, surprised. Carrying her, I led her to the bathroom where I started filling the bathtub. Soon, we were both sitting in the warm water, feeling it relax our bodies. Jane sat between my legs, and as we relaxed, a thought occurred to me.

“Love?” I called out to Jason.

“Yes?” she responded.

“Did you meet Venom today?” I asked.

I felt her body tense, and a chill ran down my spine.

“No. We met that day we went to the mall. The day you left with your mom.”

“How?” I inquired.

“I was crying a lot, and I bumped into him without noticing. Then he felt sorry for me.”

“And he comforted you?”

“What?” she asked, sounding confused.

“He saw a damsel in distress and decided to comfort her? Probably thought you were an easy target.”

My voice dripped with sarcasm.

“What? No, he’s not like that.”

“You’re defending this guy, Jane? Do you feel something for him?” Jason questioned.

“What?” I couldn’t bear the thought of her with him, and anger surged through me, but I tried to control myself, remembering Lee’s advice.

“Look, I don’t want to fight. But you have to promise me you’ll never see this guy again,” Jason demanded.

She turned to me, looking startled by my words, but I stood my ground.

“What do you mean, Jason?” she asked.

“I don’t want you near him.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you, it’s him I don’t trust.”

“But you don’t even know him.”

“And I don’t want to. Just by the way he was looking at you, I know he wants to get with you.”

“Of course not! He just admires me. Admires my work.”

“But you can work with anyone you want, my love. I’ll invest in your art.”

“No, Jason, I want to achieve things on my own. I don’t want anyone saying I’m with you for interest.”

“Okay, love. You can do as you please, but I don’t want you to see him ever again.”

She got out of the bathtub, looking indignant, and I couldn’t understand her attitude.

“That’s not possible,” she declared.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’ve already accepted the job, Jason… I’m going to work with him on the cover of his new album.”

“What?” I was shocked.

“I’m going to work with him, and you have to accept it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either you trust me or we’re not going to be together anymore.”

I never thought the day would come when I could say no to him. Ever since I met him, the love I feel for him has always seemed to overpower me in a way that it almost felt like I lost my ability to reason around him. But now it wasn’t just about me; I had a child in my belly who needed me. My relationship with Jason is too unstable for me to bet everything on us, and this time I needed to stand firm. I agreed to work with Jihoon because he admired my talent, because I felt good around him, and mainly because this was a unique opportunity to be recognized, to earn money, and to give everything I didn’t have as a child to my son through my art.

“So now this is how it is, Jane? You’re setting conditions for us to be together?” Jason’s surprised voice broke the silence.

I could understand why he was surprised. I always did everything he wanted, and now that I was standing up to him for the first time, he was taken aback. I didn’t want to fight, but I couldn’t accept his attitude.

“No, I’m not setting conditions, and I don’t want to fight either. I’m just asking for a vote of confidence.”

“And I’m just asking you to stay away from him. You’re talented and can work with whoever you want, that became crystal clear today. So why him, Jane?”

“And why not him, Jason?” He averted his gaze from mine, seeming momentarily unsure, and I couldn’t help but smile. Damn it, I couldn’t maintain my composure.

“Because of the way he looked at you, Jane. Even a blind man could see he wants you.”

He didn’t meet my gaze, seemingly playing with the bathwater as he spoke.

“Then that’s his problem, Jason, because I want you. Only you,” I said with all the certainty in my heart, knowing it to be true. He looked at me, appearing shaken by my words. I just wanted peace, so I moved closer, sitting on his lap, facing him, just inches from his face.

“Look, love, I love you. Only you. This is just work. Can you give me a vote of confidence? I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“And how can I be sure, Jane? How can I be sure that tomorrow or the day after, you won’t fall in love with him?” he questioned.

“You can’t be sure, Jason. Just like I can’t be sure you don’t love Misun anymore.”

He was shocked by my response, and when he opened his mouth to say something, he seemed to think better of it and remained silent.

“Misun is in the past for me. You’re my present and future,” he finally declared.

“And my relationship with Venom is purely professional. Okay?” After some time, he seemed to relent and kissed me, an intense kiss that was enough to reignite the flame from moments ago.

“I love you,” Jason affirmed.

It was still so new to me, the sensation of hearing him say those words that my body trembled, and an involuntary smile spread across my face.

“I love you too!”

I was so sure of those words that left my mouth that for a moment I felt hopeful. Hopeful that everything would be okay. He said he loved me now, and I wanted so much to believe it. I wanted so much to believe it would just be us two and this baby on the way that for a moment, I seemed to forget all our problems. After the bath, we returned to bed and slept cuddled up, the way I loved to sleep, feeling his arms around me and his warm breath on my neck while his fingers played with mine until he stopped moving them because he had fallen asleep.

When we had moments like these, everything seemed so perfect that it didn’t even seem like we had problems. When I finally slept, I didn’t even dream; I just passed out from exhaustion and only woke up to Jason’s kisses wishing me a good morning. We were trying our best not to fight, and he was making an effort to make me smile and forget everything that had happened during the week. We spent a peaceful weekend enjoying each other’s company, and all the while, I was thinking about how I would tell him about the pregnancy. I was afraid of how he would react, but at the same time, part of me knew he would be very happy since this is his dream.

We were watching a movie together on a lazy Sunday afternoon when I found myself completely distracted. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie; I just looked at him and every detail of his beautiful face, imagining what traits our baby would inherit from him. Would it be his beautiful almond-shaped eyes? The cute cheeks that make you want to squeeze him all the time? The truth is, I wanted him to inherit everything, even the ears he jokingly says are elf ears but that I actually love. I want every detail of him in this child that, even though I’ve never seen, I already love so much. I was so lost in thought that I ended up smiling while looking at him, and he noticed, returning the smile with a shy one.

“What’s wrong, love?”

I was caught off guard and didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled.

“You’re beautiful!”

He smiled shyly in a way that made me smile even more.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about, all distracted over there? Tell me the truth, love! I feel like you’ve been worried.”

He seemed suspicious, and I didn’t want this to become a problem, so I told a half-truth.

“I’m worried about the next stage of the competition. It was a surprise to make it this far, but in this next stage, I’ll have to paint in front of everyone, show my emotions and my love for everyone to see.”

He smiled and pulled me into a comforting hug.

“Love, it’ll be fine. You’re an amazing artist, and you’ve always drawn incredible pictures even without looking at me. The first time I saw your drawings of me, I was enchanted, love, because every detail, every line.”

He sighed, and my heart raced seeing his eyes shining.

“Everything there showed how much you love me. The theme of the paintings is emotions, and I know how well you express your feelings in your paintings, so calm down; it’s impossible for you to lose.”

Seeing how much he encouraged me made me smile, even though I had lied. I was worried about it because he would have to pose as a model for me to create a painting that would demonstrate my emotions, and as much as I love to draw… doing that in front of an audience and various judges who will judge my art wouldn’t be easy.

“Besides, regardless of what happens in the competition, I’ll make sure you have a wonderful night on Saturday.”

He smiled, and I couldn’t help my silly laugh.

“Really? How are you going to do that?”

“It’s a surprise. But I can only say that regardless of what happens, it will be one of the happiest nights of our lives.”

My heart raced, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Well, in that case, maybe I have a surprise for you too.”

He got excited, and my stomach dropped.

“Really? What is it?”Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“Well, it’s a surprise; you’ll only find out on Saturday.”

He looked at me suspiciously but smiled, as he was so excited for Saturday, I decided to surprise him, I would put together a box with my pregnancy test, booties, and I would make a drawing of him holding a baby to announce that he would be a father. Just thinking about it filled my heart with joy. He spent the rest of the day asking me about the surprise and even tried to torture me with tickles in an attempt to get information, but I resisted bravely, and we ended up rolling in bed while making love. Finally, we had a peaceful day, and I was praying for everything to stay that way, but as soon as the day arrived, I realized that this wouldn’t be an easy task because at breakfast when he asked what my plans were for today, he got upset when he found out I had scheduled to stop by Jihoon’s recording studio to discuss the project for his album cover.

“Love, I thought we had moved past this.”

“How can I move past this after the way you hugged each other?”