Falling For The Playboy

EVA

“What did I do to you? ” Zoe started. “Besides putting up with your unprecedented existence in my life, that is. ”

I didn’t know what to say. She was obviously in a very bad mood, worse than I had ever seen her in. I couldn’t tell by her face, no, one could never tell her emotions from it, rather, it was the liquid fire emanating in waves from her narrowed eyes that did.

“It’s your first day of schooling here, Eva. But you just couldn’t wait even for a little while, could you? ”

It resonated somewhere at the back of my mind that this was the first time she was actually calling my name.

“What exactly was your plan anyway? ” she shifted her weight from one foot onto the other, “That you’d get some huge dirt on me and then tell mom and dad about it? ”

Her fury escalated with each word, as did my heart beat.

“I hate to break it to you but mom and dad couldn’t hate me any more than they already do, so, congratulations, your efforts are officially wasted. ” she sneered, “Go spy on someone else, preferably someone who would actually want their business aired. ”

“I-”

“Nothing, ” she cut me off, slashing her hand through the air to emphasize her word, “Nothing you have to say matters anymore. Just, please, stay the hell away from me. ”

At first, it felt like I had imagined the whole thing, but as seconds rolled by into minutes, I began to absorb the full meaning of what had just happened.

My complicated relationship with Zoe was now, totally ruined.

She was most likely going to tell Abi and her parents that she had caught me eavesdropping on her.

I lived with those people.

I was screwed.

I trudged into the library, walking far inside to where the books were neatly arranged on the shelves. Guessing, I would say they were sorted by genre, but who knew?

I trailed my fingertips along the books surfaces, not really paying attention to the name, as I moved from one shelve to another. Calm surrounded me, swiftly and completely, pushing all my fears into the shadows.

This. This feeling right here, of serenity, that books gave to me, was priceless. Just being in the mere presence of them soothed something deep down in me that I couldn’t quite describe.

“Books or people? ” a voice interrupted my thoughts, and I answered before thinking.

“Books. ”

“Smart. ”

It was a feminine voice. Sure and loud in the otherwise silent room.

“Horror or romance? ”

“Romance. ” I answered again.

“Sappy. ”

I laughed. She laughed. I still hadn’t turned around. I didn’t know who this person was and there was something exciting about the anonymity of our conversation. Did I know her? Did she know me?

“Daydreams or nightmares? ”

“Daydreams? ” I frowned.

“Mmm. ” was all she said, “Boys or girls? ”

“I can’t judge a person based on their gender. ” I stopped in front of a book. I was staring at it but I couldn’t see the name.

“Lesbian, bisexual or straight? ”

Oh, that’s what she meant.

“Straight. ” I almost turned, but I caught myself before I could.

“Friends or family? ” she asked again.

A dull ache echoed in my chest. The ‘family’ I had to speak of, took me in only out of charity and it was incredibly sad to think that I didn’t even know the location of the one friend I had. Not anymore.

My life was a complete joke.

“None. ” I croaked.

There was a pause. Then, “Do you want to talk? ”

I thought about it. How pathetic would it be dumping all my problems at the feet of a stranger?

But what did I have to loose? EVERYTHING

I shook my head, “Not really. ”

“Have you ever been to a hospital? ” she asked all of a sudden. I opened my mouth to answer, but she didn’t let me, “Do you see those sick people? The ones on the beds? Waiting to get parts of their bodies amputated or just struggling to get better? They wish they were you.

“Complete. Strong. Healthy. ”

I felt heavy emotion on the last word.

“If you spend your whole life regretting and thinking about the past or your current situation, you’ll never live. Be grateful for where you are even if it’s not where you want to be. You could be so much more worse. ”

I wanted to say something, but the words couldn’t make it past my clogged throat. I was experiencing a myriad of emotions that I couldn’t even begin to name.

I spun around so I could see her. I wasn’t supposed to  see her face. I was ruining the game, I knew that. But who were we kidding? It wasn’t a game anymore. Not for the past five minutes anyway.

But she wasn’t there. She left just as silently as she’d come.

I turned back around and my eyes fell on the book I was standing in front of.

The Phoenix. Joe Nigg.

I dragged myself back to class, concentrating on studying.

6pm.

The bell went off. The school usually closed at 4pm but with the extra lectures attached to all promotion classes, which lasted for two hours, we closed at 6.

I sat back, reluctant to leave the class because that meant having to face Zoe and not a single part of me wanted to. Hugging my bag to my front, I watched the eager students fill out into the hallway.

Their excitement clearly showed on their faces and who could blame them? My butt hurt like hell from sitting so long and I would happily rush out too if the consequences weren’t so dire.

Story of my life.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I waited until it was just a few people loitering in the hallway, before waking out. I strapped my bag to my back as I made my way down the deserted stairs.

Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

Art is long, life is short.