Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 107

Rowan.

It's been two days since the truth came out, and I still can't get over the kiss.

When I dipped my head to kiss Ava, I expected her to push me away. Worse, to slap me. I can't deny that I was surprised when she let me kiss her. That surprise soon turned into happiness and joy.

I can't fucking believe that I went so long without her kisses. Her lips were soft, and her mouth is addictive. I could spend my entire life just kissing her, and I would be happy.

Again, I say, I was fucking foolish. Every time I denied Ava a kiss when we were married, I thought I was punishing her. I didn't realize what I was missing out on. For that, I will always be regretful because I missed out on so many things.

I'm currently in my office, and I can't focus for shit. I have business meetings in the next few days, yet the only thing that played in my mind is that kiss.

I feel like a fucking teenager all over again. Kissing her and then having her reciprocate was similar to the thrill of getting a first kiss from a girl. It left me excited. I felt like I was on top of the world.

"What has you grinning like an idiot?" Gabe's voice interrupts me.

I look up just as he drops on the seat in front of my desk.

"Nothing" I say, clearing my throat.

"That's definitely something. If I have to guess, then I think it's something related to Ava

I don't say anything, but we know that he is spot on.

"So what happened?" he asks curiously.

I debate whether to tell him. Finally I give in. He was my twin. What is the use of hiding it from him?

"I kissed Ava and she fucking let me I tell him proudly.

It felt so fucking good. Like I had achieved something miraculous. Those few minutes where she didn't push me away gave me hope. Hope that maybe she still felt something for me.

Gabe grins at me with happiness. "That good progress."

"Yes." I say then groan. "Well it was going well until she reminded something I told her and push me away"

You see, the thing about hurting someone is that when you try to make amends, you fight against the memories. You fight against the pain. You fight against the scars you inflicted.

That's what happened with Ava yesterday. The memory of my words came back. That, along with the pain that she must have felt when I flung those words at her.

Those two reminded her that I was the enemy. I was the one that hurt and caused her pain. Those two served as a warning. They warned her that trusting me could lead to more pain. So she did what any sane person would do in that situation; she asked me to leave.

"What did you tell her?"

I didn't want to repeat those words, but I did. I told Gabe everything, from how Emma lied and manipulated me. To how I angrily went to Ava's house and told her those cruel words.

When I'm done, Gabe is staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"You're and idiot and an asshole" he says, not mincing words.

I run my hands down my face. "Don't I know it'

"I'm not even going to bother with telling you how wrong you were. The fact that you're beating yourself up is enough"

I don't even know how she used to stand me. I can't stand myself every time I think about what I put Ava through. It makes me appreciate her more, knowing she tolerated me for all those years. Not a lot of women would have put up with my shit.

"On the bright side, she was receptive. That's got to mean something, right?" he asks after a while.

I was about to agree when something hits me.

"What if it's just the hormones?" I ask in panic running my hand through my hair. "Due to the pregnancy hormones, most women go through an increase in libido. Maybe that is it. Fuck."

All the hope I had shrivels up and dies. Hell. Will I ever get a chance to make things right? Is it even possible to win her back?

"I doubt that's the only thing. We both know Ava. If she didn't want it, she wouldn't have let you. Hormones be damned," he tries to encourage me, but I'm not really feeling it right now.

My door opens, and Travis enters. He looks like hell. He crosses over and takes a seat next to Gabe.

"You look like shit" Gabe informs him.

Travis just sighs. "I know. I feel like it too."

Things are a fucking mess after finding out that his precious sister has a child whom she has kept a secret for eight years.

"How are things?" I ask.

"Bad. I can't stand being in the same room as Emma right now. Mom too. In fact, she gave Emma an ultimatum. Either she builds a relationship with Gunner or she cuts her off from her life."

Both Gabe and I stare at him in shock. Never have I ever imagined that Kate would threaten to disown Emma.

Even when Ava and I messed up, she never disowned her. Sure, she and James gave her the cold shoulder, but they never cut her off.

"Are you serious?" Gabe speaks.

"As serious as a heart attack," he mutters before taking a deep breath. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about that, let alone think about it. What were you talking about before I came in?" he asks, changing the subject.

"Ava" Gabe answers.

"What about Ava?"

He has the tortured look he usually wears every time Ava is mentioned. I know he now feels even worse after how he talked to her that day.

"I think that Rowan may have a chance of winning her." Gabe answers.

Travis looks confused. It's then that I realize he has no idea about my feelings towards Ava.

"Why? Are you pursuing her?" He looks puzzled. Like he's trying to piece things together.

"Yes," I growl. "You have a problem with that?"

"No," he sighs. "I'm guessing you have feelings for her, right? That's okay. She deserves to be happy and we all know that you were her dream."

"You're not angry with him?" Gabe looks at me before looking at Travis.

I wanted to hear his answer. Not that it mattered. Even if he were pissed, it wouldn't have changed a thing. If getting Ava means losing his friendship, then so be it.

"Why would I be angry?"NôvelDrama.Org: text © owner.

"Well, because of Emma. You were the biggest supporter of their relationship."

"Yes, that's before I realized that he may not love her anymore. When Emma came back, he acted differently. It was like the spark between them had died. It was pretty easy to see it, though he was fighting it. His actions just spoke louder than his words." He pauses, then continues.

"It's time we all let go of the past. All three of them-four if we count Calvin-have been suffering because of the love Rowan and Emma had when they were young. I see what neither of us saw back then. That young love

wasn't meant to be. Sooner or later. One way or another, it would have died. My advice for you, my friend, is to seize the present. I've learned that life is unpredictable and you never know what time you have left with your loved ones."

I'm quiet as I listen to him. There was an air of foreboding that filled the room at his words. I feel the chill all the way down to my bones.

"When did you get so wise?" I chuckle as I try to clear the heavy atmosphere.

They both chuckle, but it's forced. I know they can both feel it in the air.

I don't know what it is, but I had this premonition that something bad would fucking happen.

Travis was right. I wasn't going to waste time because you never fucking know.

I'm going to go on this trip and the moment I get back, I'm going to tell Ava the truth. It was time I confessed my feelings for her.