Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0513

Gunner pops up through a small entrance that I'd not noticed before. He stills when his eyes land on me.

A kid has never made me so nervous. I sway slightly as his piercing eyes, similar to mine, glare at me.

*What are you doing here?" He growls, his burrows furrowed and fist at his side. I shudder at his intense gaze that is filled with so much anger and bitterness.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. My heart was racing, and I was finding it hard to breathe, given that I felt like I was suffocating.

"G-Gunner" I finally get his name out, but words fail me as I struggle to find something to tell him.

His brows pull together, and his jaw clenches. Looking at him, looking at me with so much bitterness, makes me realize just how much I hurt him. Just how much damage I did.

No child should be filled with so much anger and bitterness. I did this to him. My actions corrupted his innocence and purity. I hate it. I hate seeing those emotions in his eyes.

I rub my chest as pain crushes into me, filling my heart to the brim. I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't do anything; just stare at the results of my selfishness.

"Rex," he shifts his eyes to the dog.

The once stubborn dog gets up obediently and walks toward Gunner. Once he's next to him, Gunner turns and begins to move to the small entrance.

I come unfrozen, seeing him leave. This is my chance.

*I'm sorry, Gunner," I stammer, trying to get my brain to work.

He stops but doesn't turn around. His back was stiff, and he seemed tense.

When he doesn't move, I continue.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Gunner. I'm sorry for breaking your heart over and over again and causing you so much pain. I was completely selfish and I thought of myself. You are my baby. My son. I know an apology isn't enough, but I hope it can be a start."

He doesn't say anything. I take a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall and the emotions that were chocking me.

"I'm sorry for my behavior. For the love that I denied you. For treating you like you didn't matter. Like you weren't enough. I am so sorry for not being there for you. I am sorry for not being the mother that you wanted and needed. I am sorry for not loving you like you deserve. I am simply sorry and I am asking for your forgiveness. That you'll give me a chance to make it up to you even though I don't deserve it."

I lose the battle, and my tears fall, my sobs chocking me as my voice catches. "I want to be a mother to you if you give me a chance. I want to be all that you wanted me to be and give you everything that I denied you. I want to be in your life. Despite that, it's not about what I want but about you, Gunner. I leave it to you because, for once, I want to put you first. If you don't want me in your life, I'll respect your wishes, though I won't stop fighting for you." The door behind me holds me up when my strength fades, and I sag against it. I feel like my words are jumbled because my mind is a mess. I am hoping, though, that despite that he'll understand what I am trying to tell him.

When I don't say anything more, he silently leaves. My strength completely leaves me, and I fall down on my knees, burying my face in my hands as I cry. His angry and bitter eyes keep replying in my mind, shattering my broken heart more.

I don't care if the neighbors see me. Not when my son hates me. This was all my fault. I just pray and hope that he'll heal in time. Even if he doesn't accept me in his life.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .