Eternal Promise: Fragments Of Us

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“PLEASE don’t get any closer!” He growled and fixed his gaze on me. But I insisted on walking forward rather than back.

“It’s fine. This time, I’m not going to leave you behind,” I assured him.

“I told you not to get any closer!” he growled again. His lower body began to wither and shrivel. Whatever was causing it had to be related to his overwhelming power. From where I was, I could feel its heaviness. It was sucking my life away.

“You don’t have to bear it all to yourself. If you want to lash out, you can do so with me,” I told him.

Sidapa began panting and shaking his head violently. “No,” he refused, but he was clearly holding back. “I told Agui to get you out of here!”

“He did, but I chose to stay,” I said, a faint smile formed on my face. “It’s all right, Sidapa. I’m sorry for abandoning you. I should’ve fought alongside you until the bitter end. I’m truly sorry.”

“No!” he denied. “Get the hell out!” I came to a complete stop in front of him and was about to touch his face when he snapped. “Don’t touch me!”

“Sidapa-”

“You will rot away if you touch me,” he said. “Your human body will perish,” he continued.

He wasn’t trying to scare me away. The hand I had tried to place on his left cheek earlier gradually turned black. Sidapa’s true power was the ability to take the life of any living thing he came into contact with. It was such a terrifying power indeed.

[Is this Sidapa’s own doing or did he lose control?] I pondered.

Then, one by one, my memories from when we were sentenced to death returned to me. I burst into tears when I saw how Sidapa sacrificed himself to save me from Kaptan. I also saw Lisuga and Likabutan’s deaths trying to save me. And I finally remembered my last moments with Sidapa before he made the life-altering decision to switch our fates.

(“There are some things in this world we can’t change, my beloved. Maybe our time wasn’t now. Maybe it’s in the near future.”)

“I’m truly sorry.” That was all I had to say.

It was my fault. I was the one who raised his expectations and pushed him to do the unthinkable. There was clearly no future for us, but I urged him to reconsider. He was blinded by the foolish belief I instilled in him, and it became Sidapa’s sole reason for surviving this long.

“It’s not your fault. I was frail. I couldn’t accept your death, so I convinced myself that there was still hope,” Sidapa explained. “I don’t deserve your purity. In the end, I just proved who I was-a monster from within.” Hearing him say those words pricked my heart. “I had no intention of things ending this way. All I wanted to do was see you and love you again, Libulan.”

“Sidapa.” My tears began to fall. I put both of my hands on his cheeks while he was distracted. Sidapa tried to pull away from me, but I wouldn’t let him.

“Libulan, raise your hands!” He squirmed in fear. The more he moved, the worse the crumbling on his face became.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him, softly smiling. I continued to cry while bumping our brows. “I’ve been missing you, my beloved.”

“Stop…” Sidapa pleaded, breaking down in silent tears. “Your hand…”

My hands quickly went through a rotting stage. It was slow and painful, but nothing compared to the agony I felt when I decided to abandon him before.

“Please, beloved, stay still,” I begged. He was still struggling to get me to let go of him.

“Use your spear to kill me, Libulan. I can no longer command my dark version. It is the result of my actions. This hideous monster will slaughter everything in its path,” he declared.

“Is it impossible to save your white version? Even if your memories fade, I am willing to stay by your side and remind you how much you mean to me. Please?” I said.

“My soul, which had split in two, had already fused. Libulan, there is no saving me. The only way to end this turmoil is for me to die,” he admitted. “I’d rather die in your arms this time.”

“No!” I exclaimed, hugging him. When our bodies came into contact, blood splattered. The pain intensified. It was agonizing. “I can’t murder you!” I declined.

I overheard him sniffling. “Please…” he pleaded weakly.

“However, my beloved…” When I started having trouble breathing, I gasped for air.

He begged, “Kill me before I hurt you.”

“This is just so unfair,” I said, hugging him tighter. “How did we get to this point? Why do we have to suffer like this?”

“They just can’t accept that we chose to pursue our love despite knowing that it was illegal in most people’s eyes. To them, people like us increase the likelihood of Gods rebelling. I did not disappoint Kaptan. He can take my place at any time. He was horrified that other Gods might begin to question his power, and he feared that they would attempt to overthrow his reign. He despised your guts as well. He made fun of you because you appeared weak to him, which is why he used you to defeat me,” he explained.

“That’s ridiculous,” I said.

“Gods are not perfect beings,” said Sidapa. “I’ve never thought of myself as perfect. I even thought I was cursed because I possessed this power. I never asked for it, but I had to live my life with it and bear the consequences” he added, his face hurt.

I couldn’t agree with him more. He and I were identical. We both questioned our abilities and existence because we felt we didn’t perform well in our roles. This brought us together, and our differences aided our inquiries.

“I’m prepared for the worst, beloved,” I said, hugging him even tighter. My body was gradually breaking down. My soul would lose its vessel if this body died. And without Sidapa’s power, it may vanish… for good.

Sidapa gently cradled me in his arms. He sniffed me and breathed on my skin. “Libulan, I adore you.”

I looked up at him and looked him in the eyes before saying, “I love you, Sidapa.”

“You finally looked at me,” Sidapa said relievedly. He appeared to be a young child with that expression of his.. “I can feel it, Libulan. The demon inside me is looking for blood,” he said abruptly, alarming me.

“Are you still in pain?” I inquired.

“Yes,” he admitted quickly. “I don’t want you to die because of this thing.”

“I understand,” I said, cuddling closer to him.

“What are you up to?” he inquired. Sidapa tried to push me away from him, but he no longer had the strength. “Get off me, Libulan!”

“No,” I said flatly.

“Kill me now while you still have the opportunity!” he urged.