Chapter 40
“Wanna shower? You should totally take one so we can take care of your injuries.” I continued but Nicolas didn’t make any move to indicate that he heard a thing of what I just said.
“Nicolas!” I nudged his shoulder lightly and sighed when he focused his empty eyes on my face.
“I don’t feel like taking a shower.” He whispered quietly before looking away from me again.
“You should wash all the diets off, and clean out your injuries too.” I continued.
“You mean so I could wash off the motherfucker that molested me?” Nicolas asked after turning around until he was facing me once again. I looked away from him this time and took a deep breath before facing him again. “That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but I think it would be good if you wash him off, y’know…” I continued slowly but Nicolas cut me off this time.
“Do you know that a stupid shower can’t make the fact that I got raped disappear?”
“Nicolas, don’t say that word,” I started to say softly but he cut in again.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
“What word? Rape?” He paused and chuckled darkly before continuing bitterly. “But I did get raped. Not once too, do you know how horrible it felt? Do you?” I could hear his voice start to break slowly so I pulled him into my arms but he pushed me off him immediately and instead glared at me angrily as tears slowly slid down his cheeks.
I raked my fingers through my hair and pulled on the roots in frustration, I didn’t even know what to say to him at this point, neither did I know what to do to him as I watched the tears continue to slide out his eyes faster than before.
“I’m so sorry, Nicolas.” I said to him softly but he wasn’t seeing me anymore even though his eyes were glued in my direction, his mind has instead traveled to somewhere else entirely- somewhere I know wasn’t a good place.
I knelt on the bed beside him and pulled him into my chest tightly, of course he fought my hold and tried to pull away with all his might but I refused, instead I drew him tight against me and kept apologizing for failing to protect him as a big brother that I was. After a few minutes, he sagged against me, the whole fight rushing out of him all at once and leaving him with nothing but his emotions which were all too overwhelming to him at that particular moment.
The moment his hands finally stopped hitting my back and instead wrapped themselves around my back while he cried into my chest, I felt my eyes which have already been feeling prickly ever since Nicolas started crying start to water all of a sudden. A tear slipped out from the corner of my eyes but I wiped it on my sleeve immediately.
Nicolas needed me to be the stronger person here, I shouldn’t be shedding tears, I told myself as I kept on apologizing to him. His white hair tickled my nose and the metallic smell of dried blood drifted into my nose, reminding me again of just how much of a demon the xobras are.