Promise In The Dark
RENEE
“Renee.” Nicole ran toward me as I stepped out of the station house. She wrapped her arms around me, and we stood there, cuddling in the crisp, bright afternoon sunlight.
“Are you okay?” As I drew back slightly, her eyes, anxious and sympathetic, searched mine.
I mustered a smile. Despite my puffy cheeks and swollen red eyes from bawling my heart out, I managed to nod. “I believe I’m fine.”
She remained silent as she studied my countenance. “How is Robert?”
“He’s alright. He’d be released on bond tomorrow.” I tried my hardest to sound convincing as I spoke, but judging by the frown on my friend’s face, I wasn’t very successful.
“Is he getting excellent treatment in there or not?” Her voice was calm, but it was the kind of calm that implied I’d better speak the truth or else.
“Physically? He’s okay,” I started with a sigh. “But emotionally… he’s… he’s acting tough, but I know better. I know he’s in pain and afraid. I know he’s…” I trailed off as my voice broke into a sob.
I tried hard to swallow but couldn’t, and a massive lump grew in my throat. I couldn’t speak, so I just closed my eyes and lowered my head, unable to keep eye contact.
“Oh, girl.” Nicole gripped me once more, holding me tight as if scared I’d slip from her clutches if she let go. “Everything will be fine. Do you hear me? You’ll get through this? He’ll get through it, I promise.”
I let out a watery giggle as I remembered Robert saying the exact same thing to me only a few minutes before.
“Many thanks, Nic. That was just what I needed.”
She gave me a reassuring hug before pulling away, taking my arms with her. “Alright. Are you ready to go?”
I nodded, wiping the corner of my eye and turning to face Harry, who was patiently waiting for us in his black Mercedes. “Yes, I am, but I’ll go to Robert’s hotel.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I’m not sure. He’ll be released tomorrow, and I want to be the first person he sees when he walks into the suite.”
“But, Renee, your health. You need to rest and…”
I interrupted her before she could finish. “And I’ll get that there. You don’t need to be concerned about my health. I swear I’ll take my medicines, and I can even FaceTime you when I want to. You are welcome to keep an eye on me.”
She didn’t seem convinced, but after another brief pause, she conceded. “Alright. But who will stay with you? I can come with you.”
“Harry will stay with me. Right, Harry?” I raised my voice to make sure he heard me.
The gentleman nodded. “Certainly, Miss Renee. Anything to assist you.”
“So, you see…” I proudly grinned at Nicole. “Everything will be fine.”
“Okay. Okay. If it helps you feel better.” Nicole’s doubtful expression never left her face, even as she groaned and relented.
“Yes. So can we go now?” She grinned as I motioned in the direction of the car.
“Yes, we can.”
She unlocked the door and helped me to the backseat. Harry sat in the driver’s seat and started the engine. Once the familiar hum of the engine filled the air, Nicole swung around in her seat to give me another word of advice.
“When you get to Robert’s suite, and you’re with all his things, you won’t feel nostalgic.”
I nibbled on the inside of my cheek. “Nic-”
She cut me off before I could finish. “You’re not going to cry. You’ll stay strong for Robert and your child. If you want to cry, do something random to distract yourself.”
“Like?” I asked, swallowing the knot that’d formed in my throat.
Her words struck a chord with me, and I wondered if I was such an open book. Nicole clearly envisioned what would happen when I went to Robert’s suite. A room full of everything he owned, from his possessions to memories, photos, and the life he’d established when he came to Orlando to be with me months ago.
My chest tightened unpleasantly.
“You can think of your happy times with him.” Nicole’s eyelids crinkled as she spoke, utterly oblivious to my thoughts. “The good old days. The fun times. Maybe some bad times, too, but I’d advise against that.” She winked, and I giggled.
“You can stare at his photos and reminisce. Or read a book. You have a pregnancy pamphlet in your purse. Instead of crying, you can read that.”
“It’s not that easy, Nicole.”
“Nothing is easy, my friend. But whatever you choose, don’t waste time feeling bad. Be joyful. Remember, this is only temporary.”
“Okay.”
“Good. Now, promise me, Renee.”
I took a long breath and gently exhaled. I peered blankly ahead at the city lights whizzing by. “I promise.”
~~
When I arrived at the hotel, it was late in the evening.
Nicole had purposefully stalled me. We stopped several times along the route. First, for lunch, then we walked down the streets of downtown Orlando, stopping sometimes to buy snacks or stretch our legs while Harry waited in some random parking lot. I knew she was trying to distract me from my worries and take my mind off things before I got to the hotel, and dare I say she succeeded. I didn’t think about how much I missed Robert or how unhappy and empty I felt without him.
When we decided to depart, the sun had set, and Harry turned the car around. After dropping Nicole off at home, he’d taken us back to the hotel.
Now, I was in an elevator, on my way to the suite, with Harry by my side. The ride seemed excessively long. Too slow, and every second dragged on excruciatingly.
Finally, the elevator door opened, and Harry led me across the corridor and into Robert’s suite. He swiped the card, opened the door, and let me in.
“Ma’am,” He called, and I turned to see him standing awkwardly, hands to the side as if unsure whether to enter.
“Yes?”Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.
“You can call if you need anything. I’ll be at the hotel lobby below-”
“Nonsense. Come in.”
“But-”
“There are no buts, Harry. You don’t have to stay outside. The suite is large enough. Please make yourself comfortable. This is much more convenient for my safety, and I know Robert would approve.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you very much, ma’am.” He entered the suite with a stiff nod, heading directly for the living room.
I went into the bedroom and hurriedly undressed. I glanced around, grabbed one of Robert’s shirts hanging nearby, and slid it over my torso. His musky aroma flooded my nostrils, and while desperately wanting to cling to Nicole’s words, I couldn’t shake the melancholy that threatened to overwhelm me.
My gaze darted about, catching bits & pieces of him. And me. My framed photos were strewn over a corner, and I noticed a cufflink with my name inscribed near the bedside table. Seeing them brought tears to my eyes, and all I wanted to do was fall to the floor and cry my heart out. But I remembered the promise I made to myself and to Nicole.
I had to be strong for Robert and our child.
Nostalgic memories flooded in like a tsunami, and tears gathered in my eyes, threatening to spill as I tore my gaze from the table and hurried to the bathroom.
I washed my teeth and sprinkled some water on my face. I took a few deep breaths, gave myself a pep talk, and left the bathroom.
Before bed, I FaceTimed Nicole and took my meds while she watched. We talked for a while, and her jokes made me laugh, but bitterly.
When we finished talking, I turned out the lamp near the bed and crawled between the covers. I wrapped my arms around a pillow still carrying a healthy amount of Robert’s smell and, closing my eyes, tried to fall asleep.