Crash Into Me

He buried himself in his work, trying hard not to think about her. She didn’t come to the set. He kept looking at his phone, no message from her. She busied herself with taking care of Kevin, she didn’t contact him because she didn’t know what to say to him. He was the only thing that occupied her mind, her heart skipped a beat every time she looked at pictures of him. She went home after dinner, his lights were still off. She went to take a warm bath and indulged herself with a good book on the sofa, a glass of wine and snuggled in her blanket. She missed him so bad but she’s not letting herself loose too soon. He came back a little late that night, just a little after 2 AM. Her lights were dim, at least she was back. He took a hot shower to loosen up his tired muscles. He wanted to see her, but it was late and he didn’t know if it was appropriate to message her at that hour. He paced around in his room. John : Are you back? Sandy was surprised to receive the message at 2. 30 AM. She thought for a moment. Sandy: Hi 🙂 yes, I’m back.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

John : Can I come over?

Sandy: It’s so late … you need to rest.

John : No, I don’t … I need to see you.

Sandy: Okay. He was knocking on her door in less than two minutes. Her heart was beating faster as she walked over to open the door. He stood in the dark of her porch, the tall and handsome man who had stolen her heart. She didn’t have the chance to say ‘hello’ when he walked in and kissed her lips. One soft kiss on her tender lips, her heart stopped, he’d taken her breath with a kiss and the look in his eyes. She stepped back and let him in. He tried to read her expression, but she looked away blushing. She took his hand, lead him in. “I’m having wine, you want some?” There was a bottle of wine on the coffee table, her blanket on the couch and an opened book. He sat on the couch, still holding her hand, he pulled her close. She sipped her wine and gave it to him. They sat so close, their faces almost touched. He tried to find her eyes but she kept looking away. He touched her chin and turned her face to look at him, “I can’t break through it … you have to let me in,” he said almost in a whisper. “I don’t think you’d want to … once you know what’s inside,” she smiled sadly. “Try me,” he dared her. She looked hesitant. “Tell me everything,” he said. She held his hand tighter, she finally had the nerves to look at him. The face that weakened her inside out, she buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, caressed her, and didn’t say anything. He was going to let her tell him in her own way, in her own time. She didn’t want to face him, she didn’t have the courage. She laid on his chest, “I need to tell you something horrible … but … can you not ask me anything about it?” John nodded. “I was pregnant with Kevin because I was raped …” she can hear his heart was pounding harder and a bit faster. “Trevor asked me to go over to a friend’s house to drop some papers, they were business partners … we’ve known him for quite some time … the door was opened, so I went inside because he knew I was coming,” she paused and braced herself. “He was in his study … he called me in to bring him the papers … so I did … At first we were just talking casually, and then he started to make advances on me … I told him off and was about to leave when he blocked the door … and locked me in,” her voice started to tremble. “He said I was a tease and that I was asking for it … he said I might as well came into his study naked because I’d been flirting with him for so long … pretended that I didn’t want him to fuck me was annoying … he pinned me down to the desk … he ripped my clothes off, he was hitting me.” John took a deep breath, he fidgeted in his seat and squeezed her hand. “I screamed for help but we were so deep inside the house, no one could’ve heard me … I told him to stop, I pleaded, I begged him … but he was in a trance, he wasn’t even listening to my cry, he was so strong I didn’t have a chance … and all the while he was raping me, all I could think of was what could I have done that made him thought I was flirting with him … I told him I was sorry … (sobs) … I was sorry but please stop because I didn’t …” she couldn’t control herself anymore. “Please … stop … you don’t have to tell me any more,” he said, he couldn’t take it, there was a tear in his eye. It was too hard for him to sit through her confession. “I was bleeding … he came inside me, it was dripping all over me,” she was shaking. “My face hurt, my body hurt, everything hurt … he dragged me out of his house and put me in my car, he said if I ever told anyone … he would come and do it again … I was shaking all over … I couldn’t even get my car to start … When I did, I went straight to the hospital and asked them to call the police,” her sob started to ease. “Trevor was in shock … he was his business partner for years, I was hospitalized for four days, he broke my rib from pinning me down too roughly, they had to stitch me because I was ripped … I had nightmares every night … it was happening to me over and over again in my head, I woke up screaming … Trevor didn’t know how to deal with it … I wouldn’t let him touch me, I felt so dirty and broken, I took long showers … rubbed myself until my skin bled … I still couldn’t get him off me,” her hands were shaking remembering how it was. “The police caught him immediately … he was about to flee when they arrived at his house, they found evidence in his study and he was sentenced to jail for two months … my wounds hadn’t even healed perfectly when he was out … he was deported to Algonia and I had to apply for a restraining order for him to stay away from me for five years … and that’s when I found out I was pregnant.” The room was silent for a moment, Sandy was shivering in his arms, her face wet with tears. He calmed himself down, organized his breath. He had to take in the images of her being brutally violated as part of her. He admired how well she’d done for herself despite the horrible tragedy that she had gone through. “It’s not your fault … don’t ever think that you had anything to do with what he did to you,” he whispered in her ear. It took her years to know that, but to hear it from him, it was a completion, he gave her assurance that he would respect her the way she needed to be respected. She asked him to stay with her until she fell asleep, she kissed him, one gentle kiss upon his lips. That was all she allowed herself of him that night. They fell asleep in each other’s embrace, right there on the couch.