CHAPTER 46
Chapter 46
MIRABELLA
It’s been three days since I’ve seen Matteo. After he left me at our house, I hadn’t seen him ever since until now when he’s seated at the head of the table, munching on his lunch without as much sparing me a glance.
I carefully chew on my food, glaring at him through my peripheral vision.
“Sorella, do you feel better now?” Julia questions and Matteo’s head Immediately whips to my corner, his eyes demanding an explanation.
“I’m alright Julia. Thank you for asking” I shoot her a smile.
Amline?
I’m extremely tired, my body feels so sore and I can barely keep any food down.
Matteo drops his spoon. “Am I missing something? Are you sick?”
Silence.
I shake my head at Julia and mother, signaling them not to provide Matteo the answers he seeks.
“I’m talking to you, Mirabellal Are you sick?!”
Silence.
He leans back with a scoff. is she sick? Mamá? Julia?” His eyes move rapidly in frustration. “Why won’t anyone speak to me?!”
Silence.
Laughter bubbles out of him as he slides his gun out, aiming at Julia whos the weak link. “Tell me, Julia, is something wrong with my wife?”
Tears slide down Julia’s cheeks, her lips trembling with fear, causing anger to settle into my bones. I shoot my hand forward, slapping Matteo so hard across the face. “Put that fucking gun down you psychotic maniac!”
His eyes darken as the heel of his palm brushes off the blood staining at the corner of his lips.
“Now you care?! You want to know what happened to me?! You left me!” My breath is ragged as I scream my anger in his disgusting face. “You left me alone and I had to walk at least thirty minutes before I got here! I passed out and have been down with a fever for three days!”
I blow out hot breaths through my mouth. “Now that you know what your stupidity caused, what else would you like your slaves to do for you?! Ass fucking holel Aim your gun at my sister one more time and I’ll make sure your own bullets are buried beneath your skin.”
I stumble out of the dinning area, fuming and raging whilst Matteo follows behind. “Mirabella please stop…I’m sorry!”
I don’t pay him attention. My legs pick up its page, leading me to the stairs as the only thing my body desires is to sink into the soft mattress for the rest of the day.
“Mirabella pleasel I’m sorry! It was a moment of indecision…give me a moment to explain. Please.”
“Excuses!” I scream back at him.
His large hand encircles my wrist, twirling me so that I’m facing him. He looks remorseful, ragged and tom. He has eye bags. Didn’t he get any sleep? Why does he confuse me so much? This minute he’s a wonderful person and the next, he’s an asshole.
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He breathes exasperatedly. “Don’t forgive me baby but let me take you to see a doctor. You can’t be sick. I’ll not allow you to fall sick.”
“Now you care about what happens to me? After you left me in that big house alone without any security? Did you suddenly forget what happened the last time I was left alone?” I retort.
Matteo mumbles cursive profanities under his breath, his eyes squeezing painfully shut. “I don’t want it to seem as though I keep apologizing without a change maya lyubov but please let me take you to a hospital. You need to stay healthy”
1 scoff. “Why’s that? So that I can perfectly perform my sexual duties?”
“You think this is about sex?”
“What else is this about, if not sex?II understand Matteol I’ll see a doctor and make sure your place to ease stress‘ is perfect for you!” I turn
around on my heels.
All the guards face away with a hint of surprise on their faces.
Little miss sunshine is a raging fireball to
| today.
“This is not about sex, Mirabella! Fcare for you! I care about you!” He screams after me.
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why do you care, Matteo?” My question comes out a hushed murmur.
His eyes brows furrow, teeth digging into his bottom lip. “Because …F
“You what, Matteo?! Are you going to stutter your way out of this?”
“I love you goddammit!”
I stumble. “What?”
“I love you Mirabella. I care about you because I love you.”
This cannot be, he’s joking, I didn’t hear correctly. This is not the way to treat the person you claim to love. Leaving them open to the dangers that comes with your lifestyle…I’ll not accept a love like this.
I scoff, turning my back on him. “Then act like it.” With that, I head into my room without once looking back at him.
It’s late into the night but I’ve not been able to shut my eyes longer than a minute. He loves me. He declared it in front of all his guards not minding that he might come off as weak.
But why’s he so complicated? Why does our life have to be so complicated?
My door creaks open and I freeze, pretending to be asleep as I subtly bask in the masculinity of his cologne. The bed dips beside me and his large arm encircles me, pulling me into his tim chest.
I go to struggle but he holds me steady, begging me to stay and I comply.
Long minutes of silence pass between us and as I’m about to drift into sleep, his voice reverberates in my spine when he begins speaking
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“I was never like this Mirabella. I wasn’t so cold and withdrawn but life happened to me. It only took a split second for everything to be ripped from me in a very i
y inhumane manner.”
I suck in a breath, knowing that I’m about to be hit by the weight of my husband’s suffering,
“it happened twelve years ago when I had just turned eighteen. I had two other siblings, Maria and Juan. Maria had also turned twenty when our grandfather announced that she had been betrothed to the Spanish malla heir. Maria was a stubborn young lady but after fighting with grandfather over his decision for hours, she finally succumbed but decided to have fun one last time before she would sign away her freedom.”
“I begged her not to go to the club but she was determined and so was Juan. I went with them after much convincing but only because i needed to protect my sister. I loved her so much. We had picked up and went to the club with Bianca who was my girlfriend at the time. I had so much fun Mirabella, I had fun with the women I loved the most and my only brother. We had so much fun that we forgot to go back home that night and that was the beginning of my suffering.”
“The next morning after checking out of the hotel we had stayed in the previous night, we dropped Bianca back home. I kissed her for long minutes, sang love songs to her because she was the light in my life… Jealousy squeezes at my heart but I urge myself to remain calm.
“She was my everything. I was going to marry her once we turned twenty. I loved her with every drop of blood I had and she loved me too. I loved her lips so much that morning without knowing that it was going to be the last time. But the most painful part was that I hadn’t realized that it was I who was going to take her life.”
His tears soak up my back.
“I, Maria and Juan were laughing our lungs away when we walked into the living room of the mansion. I was the first to go silent seeing that a chilly sensation settled in my spine the moment I walked in. I tapped Juan and he tapped Maria, signaling her to be quiet. My eyes searched the corners of the living room. First, I saw my mother standing in one corner whilst tightly hugging my sister Julia who was five years of age at the time. Second, it was my father in another corner boiling in rage whilst being held down by a few of grandfather’s men. I couldn’t understand what was happening but I kept looking. Hooked forward and it was grandfather seated on his throne with a mischievous smirk playing at his lips and then I stumbled when I looked down to find Blanca all bruised up and laying on the floor.”
“I had cursed, screamed and fought but grandfather just laughed whilst his men beat up my woman. A few minutes passed and it was Maria and Juan who were getting beat up. ‘You good for nothing whore! Your husband to be saw you at the club dancing with another man and now he’s broken his allance with our family, sending us into a war I’m unprepared for! You’ll pay for this! Grandfather had screamed at
Maria.
“And then he turned to me, called me all sorts of names, said that I was unfit to run a mafia because I had a soft spot for the people in my life, said that I was responsible for ruining our family’s image and that my punishment was going to be more severe than the rest. I didn’t understand what he meant…
His body shakes vigorously, a loud sob breaking out of him as he struggles to say another word but I still remain silent.
Without uttering a word, I lace my fingers with his, rubbing my thumb in circles around the back of his palm, silently assuring him that I’m
here for him.
“Grandfather declared something that made me go out of my mind. He had commanded me to fuck Maria and Bianca like the whores there were until they’ve learnt their lessons. You want to go about frolicking with my grandson without my consent? You want to know what it feels like being with a Denaro? I’ll grant your wish this very second. And you Maria, I’ll teach you a lesson for betraying your family‘ He had said to Bianca and Maria. ‘Matteol I want you to fuck them both like the whores they want to bel You have to do a good job or you’ll regret iti Make a mess of them until they’ve learnt their lessons? Those were his words, Mirabella,”
My stomach churns, bille rising to my throat but i gulp it down with trembling lips, “Did you? Did you do it?” I ask in a whisper. My husband chokes out a sob, his body vibrating relentlessly against mine.
“Mirabella…” He chokes out, his body stiffening against mine and that’s all the answer I need. I jolt out of bed, running straight into the washroom. My head is buried into the toilet as I choke on my vomit. The wrench in my throat oozes out, tears spewing from my eyes.
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Matteo is just like those men who touched me that night. He committed the same atrocity with his sister…God!
He continues calling out my name but each time my name slips his lips, I throw up some more. I’m disgusted. I allowed a man like him touch
me, make love to me, kiss me.
He’s not different.
After brushing my mouth, I walk back into the room to find Matteo seated at the edge of the bed with his eyes drilling into his thighs.
“You’re disgusted by me? You hate me? Go ahead but it was not my fault! I was eighteen! I was only eighteen and I watched as three bullets pierced into Juan when I refused to do what I was told! I watched as my brother’s body turned ice cold! I watched my mother crash to the ground on losing her sont I watched her as she screamed in pain whilst having a miscarriage! All I had to do was force my way into my sister and girlfriend…
He breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably with his face buried into his palms. “I lost two siblings because of my stubbornness Mirabella and I succumbed. I ripped my sister and girlfriend apart repeatedly until I was close to passing out because my grandfather was an insatiable man. He made me do dirty things to them whilst he and his men watched; your father included.”
My body freezes as memories of how my father had asked one of his men to do the same to me clouded me.
He learnt that disgusting behavior from Matteo’s grandfather?
This is the reason Matteo hates him?
I sit myself beside Matteo, my heart condemning me for judging him without knowing what he had gone through. My palm flattens on his back, patting him down as he sobs louder.
“After I was done, grandfather decided that he wasn’t satisfied with all I had done and he wanted me to do more. He wanted me to pick up my gun and take away life from both the women I loved. I refused. Believe me Mirabella, this time I fought relentlessly. I was bleeding but I kept fighting Blanca and Maria begged me to do it but I screamed at them to stay quiet. They begged some more, they preferred to be dead than to continue living after what had just been done to them. I refused Mirabella, I didn’t want to be defeated but then my father was shot.”
“Grandfather wouldn’t rest until I had obeyed his every demand. My father was bleeding to death, my mother was miscarrying whilst crying for her children, she was bleeding so much that if she wasn’t taken to a hospital, she’d be dead. My five year old sister was crying in a corner.. she couldn’t understand the depth of what was happening but she knew it was extremely bad. I had no choice. It was either Bianca and Maria or every member of my family, I pulled the trigger. Mirabella I pulled the trigger that killed my sister and girlfriend.”
“I was responsible for everything. If I had insisted that they stayed home, If I had played my role as a brother, if I had stayed away from Blanca after grandfather kicked against it then maybe, just maybe this might not have happened.”
“Matteo, don’t blame yourself. You were just a teenager and your grandfather is the one responsible for all that happened. All you did was have fun with your siblings and that is not in anyway wrong-”
“Then why do I feel like this? Why do I feel suffocated? Why did it change me so much? Why’s Julia still so scared of me? Why does my mother still resent me? Why do I act impulsively? Why won’t the nightmares go away? I killed everyone, I got my revenge on grandfather and his people but why does his voice still echo in my head?! Why’s his face everywhere?! Why wouldn’t he leave me alone?!”
“Because it’s normal. It’s a fragment of your memory and it’s normal that it lives and survives with you but don’t you ever blame yourself for what happened. You’re amazing, kind, wonderful and you’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. Look how you make me happy so effortlessly. You shouldn’t think less of yoursell” I wrap my arms around him.
“Julia loves you so much but you’ve closed off on her and that’s why she seems distant. Your mother doesn’t resent you either, she saw it all happen and the surely understands that you were just a teenager who was put under immense pressure.”
“Are you sure?” He croaks.
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“Of course Matteo… Please don’t let this define you any longer, hmm? Do it for me? I want to experience the Matteo who was carefree and loving and I want you to bring him to light. You deserve happiness too and you shouldn’t hold yourself back. You’re amazing, kind, beautiful, wonderful, most of all, you’re my husband and I do not settle for less.”
He chuckles, wrapping his arms around me. I’m internally grateful that I’m able to lighten up the mood.
“I don’t deserve you Mirabella,”
“No, you don’t.” I joke, letting out a snorted laugh.
“You’re an amazing woman Mirabella. I love you so much.”
I freeze.
“What?”
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