Chapter 58: I Failed Her
Lucian’s’ POV
“Dig every damn city on this continent and the next one before I put a bullet through your skull!” I gripped the collar of one of my men.
Fools! I hurled the empty bottle against the wall after downing its contents in one go. I enjoyed the searing sensation of vodka trickling down my throat. It’s the sole bloody thing I can feel right now, apart from anger and desperation.
“Sire,” one of my men called out, fear coating his voice. I turned to face him, his body trembling under the intensity of my gaze.
“We’ve combed through every country, city, island, and nook of Asia, but there’s no trace of them,” he spoke cautiously.
“Then bloody search elsewhere! Leave! Don’t return until you’ve found them!” I roared. I won’t tolerate hearing excuses about failure to locate them. Their very goal is to remain hidden, evading discovery. Hence, we must be ahead of anyone else in our pursuit.
Incompetent fools!! Once all this is done, I’ll make sure to instruct Frank to replace half of my men. Is it truly that difficult to demonstrate competence?
They are given a simple task, yet they return to me with the exact opposite of what I desire to hear.
If I could, I would search for them myself. I would explore every crevice of this universe in pursuit of her. However, I am bound to this city; only I am aware that Cercei, her mother, and aunt have departed from this place. And I will ensure it remains that way so Remus and Vienna still believe they are suppressed here.
That’s great. I need to find them before Remus knows I’m looking for them.
I uncorked yet another bottle, the contents unknown to me, and consumed it directly from the container. It seems I have been intoxicated for nearly a week now. In truth, I can’t recall what soberness feels like. I have no desire to remember, for I do not wish to endure the pain while engrossed in this treacherous game of hide-and-seek.
I can usually handle multiple tasks at once, but in this case, she has left me, so I will need to focus on one thing at a time.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
“Sire,” I chuckled, devoid of any spirit as yet another one of my men called for my attention. Pouring the alcohol into a glass, despite having just taken swigs straight from the bottle, I braced myself for another round of potential nonsense.
Roger, the lead commander recently dispatched by Frank. He has proven himself competent thus far; surely, he wouldn’t tarnish that impression now.
I arched an eyebrow, a silent signal for him to proceed. Unlike my other men who approach me with fear-stricken countenances and quivering voices, this one exudes relentless stoicism. I don’t believe I have ever witnessed even a flicker of emotion appear on his otherwise mysterious face.
“The company came under attack,” he stated, successfully capturing my undivided attention. I held my breath, waiting with bated breath for his next words.
“Your mother fell victim to an ambush.”
Time itself seemed to halt as my entire being went numb, a deafening ring resounding in my ears. The bottle and glass slipped from my grasp, crashing against the floor. The alcohol coursing through my veins evaporated instantaneously, leaving me abruptly sober.
My heart swooped as the realisation settled in my mind.
Mama… she’s gone. I abandoned her, drowning myself in alcohol and work. I promised Father that I would protect her.
Tears welled up in my eyes, my futile attempts to hold them at bay over the past week proving ineffective now. I had willed myself into numbness, yet at this moment, I no longer possessed the strength to rein them in.
The King in the North, the world’s toughest and most dominant Alpha, had failed to protect his mother and allowed his mate to slip through his fingers.
Laughter erupted from my lips. I had believed nothing could possibly worsen after her departure, and yet, life had just proved me wrong in the most wretched of ways.
That very night, I took flight, returning to our ancestral mansion.
Her lifeless body had been recovered, but the damage was severe. A closed casket would be necessary. I stared at the sad brown wooden casket before me.
Instructing everyone to leave, I remained alone with her, locked in grave connection.
“I’m sorry, Mama,” my voice cracked, the weight of grief and guilt pressing on me. I sank to my knees, clutching her casket with trembling hands.
“I failed you. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, shattered and utterly exposed.
I had failed her, failed Papa, failed all those who regarded me as their Alpha. I had lost the woman who had cared for me more than herself, who had been a steadfast presence in every single moment of my existence.
So much time I spent pursuing my own happiness, even when she pleaded for me to return, even when she supported my decision to search for my mate.
She must have endured immense pain as life slipped through her grasp.
I will never find forgiveness for myself for losing you.
“I’m sorry, Lucian. I failed in protecting her,” Frank knelt before me inside the study room. His face bore the marks of bruises and cuts, his arm wrapped in bandages. He was the sole survivor of the same ambush.
He held himself responsible for breaching his oath to protect this family. Rarely does he address me by my name, yet now he does.
“It is all my fault,” I confessed. The blame rests solely on me. I should have never left her side; this tragedy would not have unfolded. I could have protected her, and she would still be here, reprimanding me with a gentle tug of my ears.
Uncle John and Edward attended her funeral. She now rests in the crypt beside my father, alongside our ancestors.
“That statue fails to capture her essence,” Uncle Edward uttered a mournful observation.
He was right. It failed to convey even a fraction of her beauty. We stood by her grave, hands nestled in our pockets.
“They will pay for this,” Uncle John declared through clenched teeth. I looked at him and gave a slight nod of agreement.
They can never truly pay. Nothing in this world can equate to the value of my mother’s life. Even if I were to exact vengeance on every single one of them, it would never be enough.
Yet, I will ensure they suffer, that they beg for death, and that every sin they have committed fills them with remorse.