Bullied

? suicide if you ever try to let go

I’m sad I know, yeah

I’m sad I know, yeah?

SAD – XXXTENTACION

beep. beep. beep.

Continuously repeating itself meanwhile my body felt stiff.

I inhaled a really deep breath and caught a whiff of disinfectant mixed with bleach.

something’s not right.

Opening my eyes by an inch, all I saw was white.

could this be heaven?

But pastor’s always said in paradise all things are beautiful. So heaven should at least smell like a lovely fragrance?

I opened my eyes wider and saw a loop of wires.

definitely not heaven.

So where am i?

Turning my head full left, and my boring black eyes met with who gave them to me.

“oh my goodness, she’s awake” my mom threw the newspaper she held in her hand, jumped up from her seat and ran to me on the bed.

“my God, Iris how are you? are you feeling any pains? can you see me?” she waved her hand in front of my face as she asked the last question.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

I could see her alright, but that’s the problem. I don’t want to see her.

I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know how to. I stared blankly at her face and started crying.

I couldn’t do anything. Not even taking my own life.

” w-why are you cr-” my mom started asking but was cut off by the door to my ward opening.

In came my dad, Clement and Megan.

Megan? what’s she doing here?

All seemed shocked to see me awake, so they came up to me with surprise all over their faces.

Well, all but Clement. He remained by the door with his arms in his pockets.

Dad got to me first, after giving mum a brief hug he turned to my side.

“heyyy, how you doing?” saying each word slowly like I was an endangered species.

My speech was inhibited, not that I can’t talk, but because I want to know what they’ll have to say after almost losing their only child.

I wish it wasn’t an almost. But he continued speaking either way.

“Your mom and I were scared, everyone was. why did you do that to yourself?”

They were scared? why did I do it?

Now was the time to speak up.

” It took you guys till my nearly death experience to be scared for me, when I come face to face with death almost every single day of my life with Hunter?” my voice sounded ragged and wheezy but I don’t care. This anger needs to be poured out now.

” honey, we-”

“don’t honey me.” I interrupted mom when she started. “don’t you dare honey me. You guys literally don’t give a shit about my life. I cried to you almost every day of my life since we moved here, but were you scared?, I came back home with blood and scars, but were you scared? I came back home with results that degrade each session, but were you scared? No. All you cared about was the kid is your bosses son so you can’t badmouth him.

I’ll be left home alone for day’s, you weren’t scared that I might be a victim of burglary attack. I practically had no friends and you weren’t scaredthat I might be having a psychological issue. I found it difficult to eat food sometimes but you weren’t scared that I may have been coming up with a disease. I cut you guys out of my life……” my tears overflowing but I need to say it.

deep breaths.

“I cut you guys out of my life and you weren’t scared that your daughter, your only kid, might not love you anymore. What makes you think I’ll believe you were scared for me, huh?”

My mum was in tears and my dad red eyed. Everybody went silent. The beeping of the machine is the only prominent sound in the room.

“we… we’re so-sorry” mom blurted in between sobs.

“I want you two to leave ” I didn’t look them in the eye to say that. Watching the needle in my hand supply blood, I heard feet shuffling and the shadows beside me disappeared.

I broke into a sob and Megan came up to my bedside to comfort me. Leaning my head on her shoulderI continued to cry but felt my bed dip by my side.

Clement had come to sit by me and held my injected hand in his. I enveloped him in a hug while he rubbed circles on my back, whispering it’s gonna be okay to me.

I on the other hand wished it would.

We remain in that position till a familiar voice and red hair came in the room.

” Guys, I think there is something about this doctor’s report that we should know, it sa-” Meredith stops halfway when she walks into the room and saw I was awake.

Her eyes really expanded by at least ten inches.

“Iris. uhmm…. hi” she waved at me from a distance like she was scared I’ll reject her again.

but believe me, the look on her face is priceless.

I burst into laughter and released myself from Clement.

“come here” with outstretched arms I called for her to give me a hug.

She smiled and walked up to me to engulf me in a tight embrace.

“Iris, I’m so sorry for whatever I did to you, and you can still hate me but please don’t ever do this to yourself again” she sounds hurt.

” That’s a promise I’m willing to make ” we broke apart smiling.

A few seconds tick by and finally I begin to ask the questions that had been bugging me.

” Megan, how did you know where to find me?”

She and Clement share knowing looks, while Meredith looks as interested in this story as I am.

wait. please don’t say you’re dating. or worse engaged.

“Remember when I told you my mom found a guy to get married to?”

I nodded.

” Well, turns out the family happens to be this nitwit over here” gesturing to Clement who just gives a shrewd smirk.

” When I found out he was gonna start going to your school, I told him to help watch you for me. And looks like he did more than that” she finishes and glances at Clement and I’s entwined hands that I didn’t even notice.

” So the only reason you spoke to me is cause she made you?” I referred to Clement. If not for Megan he would never have spoken to me.

“Megan suggested someone she felt I could make friends with. If I didn’t like you I would have let you go after meeting you ” he replied honestly.

” How did you know it was me?” I asked

“Believe me when I say Megan is a master of description” he responded.

“Plus I sent him a picture… Or two” Megan shrugged while Meredith laughed.

That explains how he knew my name before and why he expected me to know him.

” Why did you guys drop by my house?”

“I was in town so we were going to celebrate Dylan’s second place victory at your school when I decided to surprise you with my presence” Megan began

“I told her that we weren’t on best of terms since you practically begged me to walk away from your life during our last encounter” Clement continued with a crease to his brows and I felt very, very bad at the moment.

” Well, yeah. But I told him I could convince you to come with my awesomeness” Megan started before Clement cut in.

” To which I had no doubt” sarcasm dropping out ofClement’s every word.

” So we headed to your place first and I decided not to go in due to terms, but Megan did. And when I heard her scream your name I had to rush and see for myself” he finished with a low sigh.

“That was a sight we both want to forget” Megan whispered.

I felt really bad for them. I never thought of it as the way they saw it. But I had more questions.

“B-but how did Meredith get to know? last I remember before passing out was seeing Megan and hearing her call for Dylan ” I need answers. don’t blame me.

“You lost a ton of blood before they were able to get you to the hospital. The doctor said you needed a transfusion to survive so someone had to donate blood.” Meredith was explaining.

“You’re Type O, but your parents are both A’s. I’m a B and Dylan here is an A too and we were not in the mood to collect from strangers, so Dylan said he knew of someone who could help”Megan added to the tale.

“I ran out to school to fetch Meredith and saw her stuffing her face on the bleachers” Clement flicked an invicible speck of dust off Meredith’s hair.

“heyy… it’s called eating” Meredith whined while rubbing the spot on her head. “anyway, when he told me what happened, I followed him to the hospital and luckily for us we’re both same group, and that’s how we saved you”

They went through all the struggle for me. Even Meredith that I had rejected her apology helped me.

This warm fuzzy feeling in my belly is back. which could mean two things. Either I’m happy, or the baby is.

Hunter’s baby.

The thought brought a frown to my face and I believe they noticed.

” You okay?” Meredith asked after taking in my facial expression.

“Yeah” I piped up a fake smile ” how was the parade yesterday?”

” Yesterday? the parade was two weeks ago” Clement said like he was about to laugh out his lungs.

woah hold that thought.

TWO WEEKS AGO.

“I was out for two weeks??”

“yeah you were. speaking of weeks” Meredith started as she placed a paper on my lap “the doctor’s report says you’re eleven weeks pregnant?”

And I’m doomed.

“you’re what?”

“someone’s been naughty”

Clement and Megan said respectively as Megan wriggled her brows at me.

“naughty?…. Iris and naughty cannot be in the same sentence. Once upon a time I told her that I was gonna eat her and she asked me if I was a carnivore” Clement replied to Megan’s statement.

And while Megan and Meredith laughed.

I turned red. but what else could eat mean? Check note to ask Meredith later on.

“Iris ?” Clement called

“y-yess” shaky response? really?? I’m back to that stage?

“you’re red again” he teased and smiled.

As I turned redder.

“stop teasing her” Meredith came to my rescue, after having a good share of laughter.

The laughter had died down and it’s time to get serious.

Everyone stared at me knowingly as they waited for me to explain.

deep breath. Again.

” It happened at the party, you know. the one you guys took me to” my voice came out low.

” Oh God, that explains why you were mad at me. Iris I’m so sorry” Meredith started speaking first.

” It’s not your fault. I left you to go and pee. Then Hunter found me” I finished off.

” That thing raped and knocked you up?” Megan asked, her words were spitting venom.

I nodded in response.

“Does he know?” Clement asked

I nodded again and he blew out a breath.

” He was the one who gave you those injuries? that made you think that I was gonna hit you?” Clement kept the questions coming.

well he had a lot bottled up.

I still nodded a reply though.

“And with what I heard from you and your parents earlier , I can guess the summary” he finished with a sigh.

” Your parents?” Meredith asked.

“Yeah, while you were with the doctor. we’ll explain later on” Megan told her and she nodded in response.

” Was that why you did it?” Megan asked me.

” Part of the reasons” I said and looked at Clement who was deep in thoughts.

” Poor sweety, we got you” Megan said and hugged me. So did Meredith.

Okay now I know what that feeling is.

I’m happy.

A moment of silence engulfed us but Clement broke it.

“Sooo… Suicide huh?” he said with a smirk and got all of us laughing.

I wanted to let go.

but it seems like it isn’t time yet.