Brothers of Paradise Series

“Yes,” I groan against the curve of his ear. “Please.”

Hayden knows what I need. The communication between us is instinctual, natural. He undoes his fly and pulls down his briefs and there’s a bit of positioning and then he’s rubbing his hardness along my wetness and I can’t breathe for wanting him. There are things we should discuss-things to say and confirm-but I can’t find the words. Can’t even think them.

“Lily,” he breathes, and then he pushes inside me in a single, strong thrust. The sudden force of our joining jars me and sends me off balance. I grab his shoulders for support, digging my nails in deep. I can feel him throb inside me.

Hayden releases a shaky breath and grips my waist with hard, demanding hands. I don’t know how I made it ten years without him-without this.

I grip his hair. “Tell me why you still have the cone shell.”

His laugh is breathless. “What?”

“I saw it on your mantlepiece.” I rise on my tiptoes, feeling him inside me, before I let myself drop back down. Every inch of friction is delicious. “Don’t lie.”

“Because you gave it to me,” he growls. He rolls his hips and grips my hips so hard I know I’ll have bruises. Every thrust of his hips is punishing, reaching places deep inside me. He fights to fill me just as I fight to get closer to him.

I grip his hair too roughly and breathe his name, just like he used to whisper mine. “Hayden.”

He gives me everything, and I take it, holding on to him tightly. There’s no time for tenderness, both of us struggling with the strength of our emotions.

“You shouldn’t have left.”

Hayden thrusts into me hard, his body shuddering. “I know that,” he groans. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think it kills me?”

He buries his head against the crook of my neck, one of his hands working at the top of my legs. The fact that he remembers how to touch me-how to get me to the edge-makes me angrier. But as my orgasm barrels through me, as pleasure crests through my body, there’s nothing but blinding ecstasy.

He groans against my neck as he comes and I hold him through it, hands in his hair, pressing him closer. He grips me just as tightly.

I cling to him through the aftershocks, through the trembling in his own body. It’s too much. There’s nothing left, no pretension to hide behind, no it’s-nice-to-see-you-again.

We’re bared entirely.

For a long time, the only sound was our heavy breathing and the feeling of him inside me, still pulsing. I rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. He still smells like salt and Hayden and home.

“Lily,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around me.

We sit there, just breathing together. And for a minute I let myself believe. That we’re still an us. That we’re still together. That he cares.

But only for a second.

And then I stand up warily, aware that we need to clean up. That we’re in a greenhouse on the edge of my parents’ property and we should have left fifteen minutes ago, and that I’m no closer to understanding why he left than I was a week ago.

Hayden looks up at me as he tucks himself back in and zips his pants up. He bends over to grab his shirt from the floor, and in the flash of a moment, he’s back to looking respectable

I pull my dress back down and snap my bra back into place. It’s enough to shove my arms back through the holes of the dress.

“Do you have a tissue?”

Hayden shakes his head. “No. But I’ll go get-”Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just head home.” Plus, I really don’t want the others to know.

“I’ll help you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Lily-”

“It’s fine.” I grab my purse from where I’d tossed it, abandoned in a flower bed. It’s a bit dirty, but nothing I can’t fix. Hayden looks at me with a mixture of resentment and anger-his eyes betraying his own sense of confusion. There was a time when I’d give everything to solve his problems for him. But I can’t, not anymore.

“Let’s talk,” he says, as if we haven’t already tried that.

“I have to go. I have to clean up.” I push the door open and hurry toward the driveway. It’s not a lie-I do need a tissue. But it’s more than that. Another moment in there and he would’ve seen the hot tears that overflow and race down my cheeks.

Hayden

Hayden, 18

Mile after mile of dark road. I take us out of Paradise Shores, in toward the country, the road guarded by the dark outlines of maple and birch. There’s no one on the road except us.

I don’t have a goal in mind, I just want to feel the wheels beneath me. Driving at night feels like flying. It feels like freedom.

Lily has her feet up on the dash. Her hair is splayed over her shoulders, and in the dim lighting it looks much darker than usual. She’s been quiet since we left the house. I can tell she’s still curious, but she’s not pressing. I don’t think I’ve ever loved her more than I do right now.

I reach over and put a hand on her smooth leg. Just to double-check that she’s here-that I haven’t lost her. Yet.

Lily threads her fingers through mine. Her skin is warm and soft, and she turns my hand over, lightly tracing each knuckle. “They’re getting so rough,” she murmurs. “From the fishing boats.”

Hauling nets and burning rope through my hands has taken its toll. They’re cracked in places, calluses sore on the inside of my palms. Against her soft skin my hands must feel like sandpaper.

I start pulling my hand away, but Lily won’t let me. “You’re not getting away,” she says and turns my hand back over. “I can read your palm, you know.”

“My future?”

Maybe she hears the tightness in my voice, or she can sense my emotions, but Lily just shakes her head. “Of course, but that’s to be expected. I’m more advanced than that.”

“Oh?”

“I can read your thoughts.”

“Through my palm?” She’s being outrageous, and I know it’s to cheer me up. It makes me feel even less deserving of her love, but I can’t give it up.

“Oh, yes. It’s a secret, ancient practice from… Antarctica.”

My lips twitch. “You learnt this from penguins?”

“Don’t mock me.”

“All right, all right. What am I thinking, then?”