Broken Hero

Tammie’s smile returns. “His construction business is really picking up, which is perfect because we just started remodeling the house. Redoing the kitchen a bit.”

“Oh. Great.”

How does my sister handle all this small talk? It’s like walking on hot coals, only if I was doing that, I’d at least be able to stop.

Tammie clears her throat. “I know you’re far too nice to bring it up, Oliver, but I hope you understand why we didn’t invite you to the wedding. It wasn’t anything personal, but we made the decision not to have any exes there. And I know we only dated for a short while in high school, but I…” She shakes her head. “I hope there’s no bad blood between us. It was never meant to offend you.”

Mark and Tammie got married?

“Not a problem. Good luck with the remodel.”

“Thanks.” She pauses, her spatula half-raised. “I hope you find happiness, Oliver.”

What.

“Thanks.”

I walk away as fast as I can without looking rude. Five minutes into the fair, and it’s already too much. Expectations and conversations, both patronizing and hesitant. I want things to be easy.

Things are never easy.

There’s no sign of Lucy in the crowd. No bright ponytail or wide smile, even though my eyes don’t stop roaming for a second. Six more people stop me to talk as I try to make my way towards the merry-go-round.

Frank Deger slaps me on the shoulder and tells me it’s good I’m back out in society again. “We’ve missed you, Ollie.”

I want to tell him that I’m not seventeen anymore, that the Ollie he’s imagining is gone and dead and buried and that I already know he’s missed. Sarah reminds me regularly.

I don’t say that. I nod and say thank you and push on ahead.

My nieces love the merry-go-round. It’s all they ever talk about, each and every year, without fail. It’s the only place my sister can be, since I’ve already checked the face painting stall. I force my clenched fists to relax as the familiar attraction comes into view. She better be there.

She is-I can see Sarah and her printed dress from the distance. She’s holding her phone up, filming as Nora and Sophia ride on two giant wooden ponies. Round and round they go, little hands clasped tight on the horses’ wooden manes. My heartbeat slows a little bit. Seeing my family is like an anchor in the chaos.

I’m at Sarah’s side in seconds. She nods hello but doesn’t bother to look over at me as she films the girls.

“Did you get the corndogs? I hope you put both ketchup and mustard on mine. No skimping.”

“I’m not John.”

She nearly drops the phone. “You came?”

“Yes.””Oliver… wow.”

“Don’t look so surprised,” I chide and reach out to press the screen on her phone. “And you didn’t hit record.”

“I didn’t? Shoot.” Sarah pretends to fiddle with her phone, but I can see the wide smile that hovers on her lips. Rare are the times when my sister is speechless.

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

She shakes her head with small, focused movements, and for a moment I think her eyes look a bit shiny. “No. I have nothing to say.”

“Sarah.”

Her reply is drowned out by the excited cheers of two small girls. I watch as they clamber off the ride, Nora’s little legs still a bit unsteady, and race towards me. “Uncle Ollie!”

They collide into me with the force of a tiny but very robust tank. For being so small, they have remarkably strong grips. I reach down and swing Nora up and onto my shoulders. She squeals and buries her hands in my hair, tugging this way and that, as I reach for Sophia’s hand. It’s a bit sticky in mine-the evidence of cotton candy. Sarah spoils them rotten on days like this.

“Did you have fun?”

She nods so vigorously that her ponytails fly. “So much fun. We’ve already been on it… five times.”

“Five?”

“Maybe six.”

“That’s impressive,” I tell her. “You could get dizzy.”

She shakes her head with a wide smile, revealing the gap between her front teeth. “I never get dizzy. Do you want to get ice cream with us? Please?”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

My sister clicks her tongue in disapproval. “You need to eat some real food too. How about you two share a corndog first, and then Ollie can go get you some ice cream. Nora, don’t tug at his hair like that.”

Her youngest daughter makes a decisive sound from above my head, and I can practically see the determined look on her face as she squares off with her mother. Unsurprisingly, her mother wins-but I bet they’ll be even before long.

The tugging stops, and a small hand pats my head as if I were Austin. “Pretty hair,” she mumbles. “Pretty uncle.”

Sarah laughs, her eyes dancing. “So pretty.”

I shoot her a dark look. “They get it from you.”

“They have some of your genes too, you know.”

John returns. He’s balancing four corndogs and a bottle of soda, a sweater tied around his waist. My sister’s husband and I are very different men, but we respect each other. He’s an accountant; calm, methodical, and Sarah’s complete opposite. I might have made it explicitly clear to him when he started dating Sarah just what would happen if he stepped out of line. She was furious at me, but I like to think that he appreciated it.

I’m secretly convinced that Sarah did too.

“Good to see you here,” he tells me.

“You too, man.”

We have a seat and I swing Nora down onto my lap. They eat in silence, passing a soda bottle back and forth, while I ignore the looks Sarah keeps shooting my way. I know she’s curious as to why I’m here, or how I’m doing. It’s only thanks to the kids that I get a pass from the twenty questions.

From our corner of the fair, I have a clear view over the crowd. No one is asking us to join a ring toss or to buy a raffle ticket. The fewer interactions I have to deal with, the better. Which reminds me…

“Sarah, did you mention that Tammie got married?”

She chews for a little bit. “Well, no,” she says finally. “I didn’t.”

“Why not? You tell me about everything else that happens in this town.” I pull the empty stick away from Nora. “That’s not for eating. It’s sharp.”