Breaking Rules

My heart is pounding in my chest. I’m not sure why or what I’m feeling this way. I exhaled to calm myself down. Perhaps I would pass out if I didn’t do that. The dish had been cooking for some time, but I had forgotten to steam the rice. I scratched my chin and sighed.

 Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

I was overjoyed to see a rice cooker. I used it before sitting in the kitchen counter stall. But after a few moments, Azazel appeared beside me. My heartbeat quickens once more. And here we are once more. I made a fist as I felt him staring at me. I need to calm down. “Are you bothered by their presence?” He spoke softly, but I could hear him. I shook my head at him, not looking at him. I just kept looking ahead, trying to avoid his gaze. Because if I saw his eyes, I might pass out from nervousness. To be honest, I’m always nervous when he’s near me. That’s although I’m always afraid of him. As I felt him, I played with my hand. He got even closer to me, which made my heart race even faster. What exactly is going on with me? I shouldn’t feel this way about him. “Look at me, Sera.” On me, he used his extremely dangerous voice. I avoided him even more because I was terrified of him. “… Sera…” I shut my eyes and nodded. My hand is trembling as well. What is going on with me? Is everything all right with me? Of course not. This is not normal. What I’m experiencing is unusual. It’s dangerous. I’m in a lot of danger. It appears to be something forbidden, but I still enjoy it. “Mi amore,” he said in those foreign words, almost knocking me out of my seat. His voice was solemn and commanding, making it difficult to defy. A thick rope that is hard to cut with a simple scissor. He leaned in close and forced me to look at him. With his index finger, he raised my chin. Then he pressed his hand against my cheeks. “Are you afraid of me, then?” I was greeted by his strange stare. I switched my gaze to him and nodded. I heard him click his tongue. “Very well, my love.” Then he drew me closer to him. He hugged me around the waist, and I felt his other hand stroking my hair. “That’s right, baby. You should be afraid of me. Don’t put your trust in just anyone.” His chin is resting on top of my head. I couldn’t help but return his hug. Even though I wasn’t familiar with the feelings, There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? Absurd. This is wrong; everything is flawed. But I can’t imagine myself running away from this kind of situation. That even though I knew he was dangerous, I couldn’t just get away with it, whether I liked it or not. When the rice was done, I told them it was time to eat. I’m still nervous because I’m having someone taste what I’ve made right now. I’m used to being by myself. On a contrary, I’m not used to this. “Seraphina, you’re so talented in the kitchen! Can I just marry you right now- shit!” Samael was looking at Azazel with a frown. The latter, too, looked down on him. I just shrugged and continued eating. “Go fuck yourself. Samael, I’m going to shoot your head. Fuck-” Azazel came to a halt when Nazarel threw a spoon at him. Azazel glared at him, but he was just keeping his poker face on. “We’re eating, have some manners.” Azazel crept closer to me as they both fell silent. “Eat your food,” he said, and I followed him like a puppy. I despise myself for being this way, but I can’t fight him. I simply nodded at him. I kept eating and quieted down even more. After we’ve finished eating, Nazarel and Samael wash the dishes. Samael volunteered to do the dishes. Although I still wanted to do it myself, Azazel interfere… I just kept painting the wall. Azazel is engrossed in his work on his laptop. He’s doing something that has something to do with his studying. I exhaled, and my mind flew to my apartment. I wondered if I had properly closed the door and window. And when I remembered Azi, I ran to get my bag. I texted my landlady, who I had left Azi with earlier. She is also an animal lover, which is why I am so grateful to live in her apartment. I had no problem bringing Azi home with me. There are some apartments where it is strictly prohibited to have any kind of animal. To: Landlady Una

How’s s Azi? From: Landlady Una

He’s doing well; what time do you leave for home? To: Landlady Una

I don’t know yet. I will just text you then. From: Landlady Una

Okay, I’ll take care of Azi. I slid my phone back into my bag and turned to face Azazel. He was still working on his laptop. I approached him and sat down beside him. He came to a halt and fixed his gaze on me. When he looked at me, he had a serious expression on his face. I gave him a nervous look. I was about to open my mouth to speak when I felt embarrassed again. I’m not sure if he knows anything about my condition. Should I say something? I bit my lower lip until I noticed something. I took the marker and paper, and I was about to write when he took it. He tossed it onto the round table where his laptop was already put in place. “If you’re going to say something to me, say it.” He spoke seriously. My shoulder sagged, but how could I approach him? I was so hesitant that I simply smiled at him and walked away when he pushed me back onto the couch. As I gazed at him, I gasped and my eyes widened. I shook, trying to break free from his grip, but it was too tight. “Talk, Sera…” I can’t because speaking is embarrassing for me. He might even laugh at me if he hears me speak. I stutter when uttering words.