Bittersweet Arrangements : A Sugar Dady Affair

Whether it was the wrong time or I was in the wrong place

But at least, I have loved

Even though it returned with wounds

***

The toughest period for Devan has passed. One month is not a short time for Devan to reconcile with his heart. During that time, Devan could only gaze at Elena’s face through the photos he captured in his phone’s gallery. Even if he couldn’t resist the longing, Devan would secretly observe Elena when she left her house. And Devan was sure that Jeremy would know about his actions. Jeremy would certainly not stay silent and let him cheat.

Lately, the girl often went out with her two friends. They had gone to school three times and the rest to the campus where they would continue their education. Information that Devan got was that next week, the orientation program at the campus where Elena studied would begin. Observing from a distance was all Devan could do at the moment. Since he had clashed with Jeremy a month ago, he chose to avoid. Not because he was angry with his friend, but because he didn’t want to heat up their relationship further. His friends would come to the workshop if they wanted to meet him. None of them would defend either Devan or Jeremy. Instead, they repeatedly tried to restore the strained relationship between Devan and Jeremy.

Devan had promised Jeremy not to meet Elena without the man’s permission until Erick approved of their relationship. Devan couldn’t be selfish just for his love for Elena. Erick was everything. Erick was his life before he fell in love with Elena. Erick’s feelings were what he would always guard, following his promise to Gita. For matters of the heart, Devan could surely overcome them on his own. Although Devan wasn’t sure. For 10 years, he couldn’t get out of his mourning period. Moreover, the heartbreak he felt now had only been going on for a month.

Like right now, Devan was observing Elena, who was with her two friends in the campus area. The girl now looked much more beautiful without her grayish-white uniform. Even though he would never be satisfied just by looking at her, Devan had to leave before someone suspected him.

***

Yogyakarta, 21:00 WIB (Western Indonesian Time)

The ticking sound from my room’s wall

Awakens me from a deep daydream

Unbeknownst, the night is getting late

I am still awake

My dear, where are you? I want to be with you

I need everything to erase this longing

Could it be that you feel the same there?

Like the chill I feel tonight

The drizzle invites lovers tonight

We dance in beautiful longing

I feel lonely right now, my love

If you were here, I’d be calm

Elena had typed that short message for Devan countless times. She wrote that line almost every time she was alone in her room. However, not a single message written with such emotion reached the man.

“Uncle…”

“How are you, Uncle?”

“I miss you, Uncle.”

The sighs of breath and the sound of Elena’s lips accompanied the music that was playing softly. The lyrics of the song represented Elena’s feelings, drowning in the shackles of longing. Apparently, time had not managed to erase her love for the widower. Instead, the feeling grew and developed over time.

Elena stretched out her arms, gazing directly at the ceiling of the room. Then she closed her eyes, following the lyrics of the song “Denting” by the legendary Indonesian singer, Melly Goeslow. The song expressed the voice of her heart.

Actually, Elena could contact or even meet Devan as she pleased. But Elena certainly did not want to disappoint her Daddy. Just 2 days of silence from Jeremy had an extraordinary effect on Elena. So, to protect the feelings of her parents, Elena deliberately stayed absent when the Club Cogan family held gatherings. Elena just didn’t want to make a mistake when meeting the man she loved. Moreover, Elena did not want to add to the burden of longing in her heart. It felt truly torturous. Fortunately, Elena was now busy with campus affairs, so her thoughts about Devan were slightly diverted.

If there was no campus business, Elena usually accompanied her Mommy to the boutique or chose to practice music and vocal training with her private tutor. Since the end of the 12th grade semester, Elena had been absent from her training. Elena did all of that because she wanted to focus on studying. But instead of just focusing on studying, Elena ended up thinking about Devan, the friend of her parents.

Knock… Knock… Knock…

The sound of the door knock successfully dragged Elena out of her daydream. Lazily, Elena turned towards the source of the sound, allowing anyone behind her bedroom door to enter.

“What’s up, Vand?” Elena said with indifference.

“Someone wants to talk to Elena,” Ivand replied casually and then sat on the edge of the bed.

“Who comes to visit at night like this? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Elena responded uninterestedly.

Ivand grinned, amused by Elena, who still hadn’t realized that Ivand’s phone camera was pointing at her.

“Why are you smiling? Just go back to your room and don’t disturb me!” Elena dismissed, then turned around, ignoring Ivand. Once again, Elena continued to follow the lyrics of the music playing, disregarding Ivand’s presence there.

“I said someone wants to talk!” Ivand moved his phone closer to Elena’s ear.

“Bee…”

Instantly, Elena’s eyes widened. She turned around, looking for the familiar voice she had missed for so long. Smiling, Ivand handed her his phone and then left, giving time to the separated lovers. Devan often called Ivand to inquire about Elena’s daily activities. Ivand didn’t support their relationship or intend to betray the trust of both of their parents, but he couldn’t bear to see his loved ones hurt.

“After you’re done, return my phone to my room!”

Ivand’s command would, of course, go unheard by Elena. She was fixated on the handsome man who was gently smiling through the phone screen.

“Hey!” he greeted with a laugh.

Elena stayed still, her body frozen. She couldn’t believe that the one greeting her was her beloved uncle.

“It seems someone has forgotten about Uncle!” Devan spoke again.

“Is it really Uncle Devan?” Elena whispered, her eyes starting to well up.

“Yes, didn’t you miss your handsome uncle?” Devan chuckled while admiring Elena’s beautiful face that he could only gaze at.

Elena nodded and said, “I miss you, Uncle. El misses you!” as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Uncle misses you too,” Devan admitted with a melancholic look.

“Liar,” Elena retorted, starting to cry. “If you missed me, why didn’t you ever call me? Instead, you called Ivand?”

“Shh… don’t cry! Uncle doesn’t like seeing you cry,” Devan replied, trying to calm her down. “That’s why Uncle didn’t want to call. You’re a crybaby, Bee!” Devan chuckled again. He wished he could hug the girl in front of him, wipe away her tears, and erase all the sadness he had caused. Devan wanted, really wanted to do it. But he couldn’t. Devan couldn’t do it.

“Bee, listen to Uncle for a moment.”

Elena wiped her tears and nodded. While biting her inner lip, she tried to stop her sobbing from resurfacing.

“Now you’re all grown up. You’re a college student now. No more crying! You don’t need to think about Uncle anymore. Focus on your studies. Uncle will always be behind you, praying for you,” Devan explained, only receiving nods from Elena.

“Uncle wants to see that smile a little bit,” Devan coaxed.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

Elena responded with a smile, accompanied by tears rolling down again.

“I miss you..” Elena whispered almost inaudibly.

“Yes, Uncle knows. Uncle misses you too. But for now, we can’t meet. You know Daddy is strict!” Devan chuckled, trying to comfort the crying Elena once again.

Behind Devan’s office door, Erick was now frozen. Earlier, Erick intended to deliver Dion’s message, but when he didn’t find his father in his room, he headed to his father’s favorite room. However, his intention to knock on the door was halted when he heard his father talking to someone on the phone. Devan was sitting, facing a giant mirror at the end of the office, allowing Erick to discreetly eavesdrop on and hear every conversation between Devan and someone on the other end.

“Now, you just focus on studying so you can graduate quickly. Uncle also wants to focus on making a living for you. Who knows, we might be destined, Bee,” Devan comforted, not only for Elena but for himself as well. The hope would remain in his heart. Even if they weren’t destined to be together, at least Devan could see Elena happy with someone else who was more deserving. And when that time came, Devan would accept it.

Erick’s hands clenched tightly as he heard every word spoken by his father. Adding to that, the sound of Elena sobbing since earlier was audible. The girl who was more fitting to be his sister didn’t say much.

Before Devan could catch him, Erick rushed away. Still in a daze, Erick descended the stairs to his room. Once in his room, Erick’s body slumped at the edge of the bed. Erick realized that his father’s attitude, which seemed as if nothing had happened after that night, was just a charade. Erick thought everything had returned to normal. Everything was fine. But the facts he had just heard shattered Erick’s feelings.

Since that night, there hadn’t been the slightest change in Devan’s behavior when he was with him. Everything went as it should. Erick didn’t feel the slightest suspicion. Erick thought Devan worked late at the garage because there was indeed a lot of work. Erick thought his father often stayed or even slept in the office because he missed his mom. But as it turned out… It was all just his assumption.

“Forgive Erick, Dad!”