Chapter 50
He did everything for him?
I looked at him shocked, I blinked rapidly, staring at him in confusion, was he the same Blake or I was dreaming.
” Yeah and…… about that Lisa I have cleaned up her case too since she had been unnecessarily dragged into your problem.”
” You think Lisa punching some few people will do good and they will stop? In reality it will make it worse. If you think you can become some heroine or don here…… you are dreaming.
There are many degenerate rats who feeds on to the blood, watch till they scatter, break completely. Here…… only powerful people survive…… not the weak ones. It’s the sad reality…… people just respect you for your class, status and money…… nothing else matters to them”
” So I have kept someone for her too, to watch out.”
” Who?”
” Why don’t you ask your friend itself, she’ll give a better view than me” Blake leaned on to the rock, completely dismissing the topic.
I just stared at him, speechless, I couldn’t believe this was real Blake or was I hallucinating. Blake was mysterious just like Vincent, both holding back something which the world didn’t knew about.
” You know I have come all along till now, cleaning, covering all his mess, but there’s only thing I can’t erase, how much ever I want to and that is you.”
” Me?” I looked at him in anxious and amused by his words.
” Yes. You are like a boon as well as curse to him. Vincent was always so sensitive since that disorder. You say one wrong thing and you become his enemy. It was always hard being around him, and only one wrong thing could trigger a whole bunch of ugly emotions in him.”
” He would transform from a good person to an evil person, one moment treating you like an angel and the next treating you like you’re the worst. That is why he and you could never have a good relationship.”
“I know how terrible he may be, but even if he doesn’t show that, I think he needs you. ”
I froze in my place, my heart beating madly against my chest. Needs me?
” Why me? You people are so powerful why don’t you chase down the original girl ‘ Eva ‘ and bring her back in his life, Vincent will be happy so will I”
Blake eyes narrowed onto me ” Did you hit your head somewhere or do you want me to hit it with this bat?”
I flinched when he showed me the baseball bat as if he was really going to hit me and I covered my head with my hand.
” What? Wouldn’t it be better if you bring her back or avenge her directly.”
” So you telling Vincent to go back to that vicious trap where his life turned completely, ruined completely? Okay.” Blake shook his head ” I take back every good words I thought about you.”
” Hey!” I whined at him.
” Then what? It may be easy to say from your f***ing mouth but there’s other things that brings you back. It’s not a movie kid, that a person drags back her lover back and avenge her without any sequences following him. ”
” You think being a famous, powerful rich kid has nothing to loose? You know how much Vincent suffered because of her? His reputation, his relation with his family, his happiness, his social status, his mental health…… everything ruptured because of that b*tch!”
” That f***ing b*tch is no ordinary, she is also a famous rich business kid, if he goes to her, that b*tch will trap him in that vicious loop, again scandals will repeat and repeat untill he gives up breathing.”
” During those days scandals on scandals piled up though it wasn’t his fault, calling him abuser, mentally retarded person, psychopath, maniac etc etc.”
” Already he has lost everything because that scandals, not even his f***ing father talks to him properly, it’s been 5 years. All just care about their business life and reputation, nobody even cares if somebody’s dying inside.”
” Nobody is born mentally ill my love, they are made by these f***ing people. How would you feel when the whole world blames you for nothing and keeps on torturing you saying all f***ing things dragging him to deep depression and no way out?”
” Nobody even bothered to look for the truth, letting him die in that darkness created by her. Now tell me you want me to throw him to that same f***ing loop, bringing that b*tch in his life again?”
My chest tightened with elation because he was right. ” No…… sorry.”
” If I would have been there in his place, the story would have been different, but it’s Vincent. He is very sensitive for his family too, it’s not that he can’t do anything…… but one bad move could rupture his whole family relations, that why he has bottled all his emotions for them, suffering, dying alone.”
His words pierced through my soul. Vincent was crippled inside, that much I could understand.
” Well if it was for any normal person, nobody would have given f*** about her and moved on in his life. But his mind plays the game here due to trapping all his emotions…… pain in it, resulting in producing delusions within.”
” Delusion?”
” Yes, delusion involve situations that could occur in real life. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. To escape the cruel reality the mind even imagines which is never true at all.”
” He really thinks only Eva could bring back what he had lost, only she can cure him and no one else, rest are just enemy to him. He’s still madly in love with her despite all these things, he lives in a delusion that she has done everything unintentionally and she has changed and she wants him back.”
” Its called delusion of love, it is a belief that another person is in love with him or her despite clear evidence against it.
These signs are also found in many types of disorders and he’s trapped in it.”
I looked at him shocked ” So that is why he acts all aggressive when we say something about her?”
” Yes, not only to you, he even f***ing hit me because of that b*tch! He gets super angry because of that ”NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.
” I don’t even know what’s going on his mind, I don’t even know how much of a progress he had made. Cyclothymia can change into much severe disorder if not taken care. It is rare to change but it is not impossible.”
” He never attends therapy sessions properly, not even visits psychiatrist for a month or more. If we tie him and take him also he doesn’t even allow himself to cure. That day was a nightmare, when we forcefully took him to his therapy session.”
” Vincent’s violent outburst started unexpectedly, nobody could control him. He began acting aggressive, throwing things. His screams, his pain, his tears, he even threatened us that he would end his life if we ever took him forcefully again. Medicines are just temporary, it just stabilises for certain period of time.”
” There is no complete cure for mental disorders. Psychiatrist said until and unless he lets himself cure, believe in himself, nobody can help him much.”
” But ever since you came, he is changing little by little, he is taking baby steps towards it. He responds to us most of the time now. He needs someone with control, mental strength, and stability. His condition isn’t something temporary.”
” I go with him to his therapy occasionally, and it feels like there is no progress at all. In truth, he’s regressed in some ways. A couple of times, he left therapy furious, shouting it was useless and that he wouldn’t ever come back again.”
” That is why we need you…… when you rejected in the first time it broke my heart, telling that we have a life and don’t want a maniac linger in your life, we are not a rehab center. Why? People with disorders aren’t human too? This is why mental illness are underrated and unrecognised, and it’s all because of you people.”
” Nobody takes them seriously, that’s why many depressions and suicides happen, there is no humanity for them, nobody reach them… why do they segregate them? Why not join hands to help them? They even deserve to live like others!”
” But no, call them maniac, psychopath, mentally sick, retard and push them away and make their life even more shittier until they have no choice but to suicide. When will these people take mental illness seriously? Why will they stop discriminating them and help them?”
Vincent had that impenetrable wall surrounding him, and he’d put me through so much, but maybe there was something for us beyond that cycle of hate and hurt.
” Okay I kind of admit it, I did provoke him with my words sometimes, but most of the time he was a jerk. Why don’t you see my side of story too Blake!”
” It is horrifying and I always willed myself to remember all the terrible things he’d done to me. He’d always played the right moves, which were inducing my insecurity and terror, without even inflicting the physical pain. I have been a victim of his outburst more than anything! ”
Blake looked at me for a second and sighed holding his hair. ” You are correct too…… but he was never like this before. He never stuck into anyone’s business, always stayed away, but you are the first one and it shocked me too to be frank.”
” I know he says and does hurtful things sometimes, not only to you even all of us, but we know he never means it, it’s not real him, he regrets it. He is really a good boy, only thing is his mind is f***ed up, I don’t even know what goes in his mind when he sees you…… He needs time to understand everything, just give him time.”
” I am not saying you to be complete package of rehab center, or become a psychiatrist and completely cure him. No. Just take baby steps towards him, if he wants to cry in front you let him, if he wants to talk to you, let him. Calling him names and provoking him will fetch you nothing but pain. Just avoid arguing with him.”
I stared at Blake impassively but sighed immediately.
” But I will never forgive him for whatever he has done. If he wants to take steps towards me, reach me, then I will allow him without any hesitation, but it will never happen first from my side. I am so done trying, either he makes moves or nothing”
” Whatever, just don’t ditch him completely. If he wants to talk to you, or if he cries in front of you, just don’t push him away, listen to him patiently, understand him. ” Blake sighed throwing a pebble on the ground.
I accessed Blake’s words in my mind, about their strong need for attention popped in my mind, reminding me of Vincent’s fear and how strongly he felt all emotions, how vulnerable he was in the forest.
I flinched when I saw someone from far coming towards us. Vincent was walking towards my direction, wearing a hostile expression.
His eyes ate me alive even from far as he sized me up, his heated gaze creating a strange, tingling sensation inside of me, and I couldn’t breathe. He looked unfazed for the fact that I was here with Blake, as if he already knew I would be here.
I returned his gaze, feeling like I’d entered a completely different reality because we stared each other down.