Always Been You

~Dante’s POV~

So it came to my attention that my mother used to be a prominent figure in a criminal organization, but that she gave up her former life when she married my father. It’s no wonder she could get away with hiding Lola and the children from me. I heaved a sigh and thought about what my uncle had said to me-that he had gone to medical school and earned a doctorate. But he has never worked for anyone. To ensure that Lola is well taken care of in the interim, he will be spending the next week here at my house. He didn’t have to; he had businesses to run, but it seems like this Mason issue pissed him off. My mother doesn’t get to know that Uncle Antonio is around, and she doesn’t get to know that I will be playing dirty for my family’s sake. I let out a sigh and shifted my weight on the chair so that I could lean back. As I was about to pour some scotch for myself, someone knocked at my door. I ordered the person to come in.

“Hey.” She couldn’t stop twiddling her fingers. She was nervous, and I could tell. I know her so well.

“Hey, can we talk?”

Please tell me you remember, even though there is nothing fancy to remember about us, but please just tell me you remember at least our children; they are suffering.

“Certainly, take a seat.” She sat down slowly while staring at me as if she suddenly recalled something important. I’m crossing my fingers that she does remember.

“Umm, you said we were married, right?” She asked.

“Still are.” I raised my hand for her to see the ring on my finger. “And that ring on your finger? I put it there myself on our wedding day?”

“Do you have pictures?” She inquired,

What the fuck, Dante, why haven’t you thought of pictures, even pictures of her while pregnant? She gave me that photo album herself.

“Yes, there were plenty, even when we were kids. We were friends before we were husband and wife.” She gave an awkward smile.NôvelDrama.Org content rights.

Oh, how much I long for just one more glimpse of that grin.

“Do you remember what I was like when we were kids?”

“Well, annoying,” I said, and she raised her brows. “At first, though, I noticed that I couldn’t live without you, and I couldn’t even go to bed without seeing your silly face. Basically, every night I would go around acting creepy. I used to come into your room solely for the purpose of watching you sleep and telling you stories while you were unconscious. You once pretended to be sleeping while I read the most irritating bedtime story I have ever read, and I caught a glimpse of a smile on your face while I was reading it to you. When I stopped, you asked me to continue. From there, I would read stories to you every night, but I would end up sleeping in the same bed with you.” Her eyes grew much more widely spaced.

“You used to sleep with a nine-year-old?” Here we go again. She will misunderstand me, just like the last time I told her about our miserable marriage. She accused me of cheating and walked out on me.

“Yes, you are the one who started the whole sleeping-over thing every night. You would walk from your house to mine, claiming you had a bad dream. So I will make you sleep, but when I want to take you back, you will beg me to let you sleep in my bed. We didn’t sleep together; we used to share a bed every time, even when I had a girlfriend. We only slept together on our wedding day.” I had to clarify that before she started judging me.

“How did you have a girlfriend? I thought we promised each other forever. When we first met, that’s what you told me.” Ah, yeah. I really hope that she doesn’t get the wrong impression of what I said. This Lola is judgemental, very judgemental.

“Yes, we did, and I kept the promise I made, but I was afraid that if I started telling her that I was waiting for her to mature, I might lose my friend. I stuck to the promise I made. So I hid my feelings for you and dated girls just to forget you, but I couldn’t. It was always you who would creep into my mind at the most inopportune times. Every time I was with a girl, I would call them by your name.” It made her laugh.

“Did I love you back?” I took a sip of my scotch and exhaled deeply as I did so.

“Yes, you did. You have never been honest about how you felt about me and have consistently pretended to have a boyfriend. I only found out that there was no boyfriend, and that you lied about having already started having sex on our wedding night. You were a virgin, and you didn’t even tell me. After you left, I found a letter you hid, and in that letter that’s when I found out that we loved each other, but we were both scared of losing a friend, so we kept our feelings hidden.”

“How did I meet Mason, and how did I become his fiancé while I’m still married to you?” That question made me boil. I poured another glass after I finished what was in the first one, but other than that, I drank everything in one sitting. How the fuck do I convince her that that bastard lied? If I do that, she will say I am selfish and tell the idiot everything, and he will stop coming around. Right now, I need him to come to my house and play her fiancé.

“Umm, I don’t know. I can’t really tell because you can’t remember anything, but maybe by the time you fled to Ozark after finding out you were pregnant, you had already forgotten everything. However, after you returned, we continued to work on mending our relationship while co-parenting our children together. I guess you were confused and lost your memory.” I fucking hate lying to her; at least it’s a white lie.

“Perhaps we should give it another shot; the children appear to be offended that I don’t remember them. I put a lot of effort into trying to remember everything, but I can’t even remember anything about myself. Mason is the only person whose name comes to mind. I remember that when I kissed him, we were hiking. That is the only thing I can recall, and it must have happened not too long ago because he is the only person I seem to remember. However, if you say that we are married, then perhaps we should try for the sake of the children.”

“No, you are your own person; I want you to stop thinking about other people and think about what you want. Stop being an altruist and put your happiness first. You don’t want to be married; you just want to do it for the kids.” I said to her.

“But…” I cut her off.

“But nothing. I love you, that’s true, but I have been selfish for a very long time. You own your happiness, Lola. Choose you before everyone else.”

“You hate me, do you?” You hate me because I can’t remember you and the children! Am I not good enough?”

Shit! Antonio, this better work!

“No, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, but right now, you don’t remember anything, and I can’t pursue a relationship with someone who doesn’t even know what my favorite color is.”

“Black! Your favorite color is black; you love sports cars; and you love noodles!” I suddenly became unsteady, and the glass of scotch I was carrying slipped from my hand and shattered all over the floor out of shock.

“Bunny, do you remember…?”