Always Been You

“If you are waiting for me to give you a bite of this sandwich you are going to be very disappointed, honey. I’m not sharing this with you” Jonah said and Katherine burst into laughter.

Oh! This was one of the things she was going to miss about him. His sense of humor. His free and beautiful and loving soul. Katherine felt tears threaten, but she definitely wasn’t going to cry right now.. And certainly not in front of him.

“Oh don’t worry dad” she said. “You can have all of it. Maybe even more of you want”

Jonah shook his head. “No. This one is enough” he said.

“How’s Tim?” he asked.

“He’s fine. He’s at school” Katherine said. “He is worried about you. Keeps asking me every night when I tuck him if you are getting better.”

“I know. He asks me the same thing every time he’s here” Jonah said. “It’s okay, Kathy. I know you are hurting… and I know it’s nothing easy for you. But I have made my peace with this. I had a full life… I had a wonderful family. A loving wife and two beautiful children and a great grandson. As far as I’m concerned my life was amazing… Because of all of you… And if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing… Because it was perfect”

Katherine took and held his hand in hers. “Oh dad” she said softly.

“Oh don’t get that way with me. No tears okay?” He said and Katherine nodded. Although she wasn’t sure she could keep it in much longer.

Jonah continued. “I want you to look after your mother.” he said. “She is gonna need you…. And you are gonna need someone to look after you too. Give Jensen a chance”

Katherine raised an eyebrow. “Oh I see you both have been catching up” she said and Jonah smiled.

“He loves you,” he said.

“I love him too, dad” Katherine said. “I didn’t end our relationship because I didn’t care about him. I just didn’t know if I could trust him and right now I don’t want to think about it because I have other things to think about… Like…”

“Like what?” Jonah asked. “Me? Honey I don’t want you putting your life on hold. When I’m gone you are going to need someone to take care of you. Someone to hold you. Someone you can lean on for support”

“I have my family,” Katherine said. “Let’s not talk about this right now, Dad. Nothing is going to happen to you. You still have some time to stay with us. I refuse to believe otherwise. Now I want you to rest. Get some sleep.”

Jonah said nothing. He just nodded slowly. She helped him get comfortable on the bed and put the covers around him. When he closed his eyes, she took a seat and held his hand. And only when he fell asleep did she let him the tears fall.

She watched him sleep. In almost two months, she could see how much the sickness had affected him. He looked paler now. He was dying and nothing could be done about it. Delia came into the room and found her. Katherine tried to wipe her eyes quickly but she was too slow and her mother saw.

Delia came closer and placed her head on her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s going to be alright” she said, and Katherine knew from her voice that she was deeply hurt but she was trying so hard to be strong for all of them.

“How, mom?” Katherine asked. “How is it going to be okay without him? Do you really believe that?”

Delia smiled slowly while she stared at her husband. “I have to honey,” she said. “I have to believe that we are all going to be fine. Because the alternative is just too damn depressing”

That very minute, Jonah woke with a start, like he just woken from a terrible nightmare. He looked around and stared at the both of them. His eyes wide. Katherine leaned forward and held his hand tighter.

“Dad?” she called. “Are you alright? Do you feel alright? Talk to me”

Delia sat on the bed too, asking the same questions.

“I’m fine,” Jonah said finally. He reached out and touched Katherine’s cheek gently. “I’m fine”

“Oh okay. Good” Katherine said. “You startled us.. Do you feel any pain…”

“No,” Jonah interrupted. “I mean that I’m fine. I don’t feel sick anymore. I’m healed. The cancer… it’s gone”

Katherine looked startled and confused.

“Honey” Delia began, taking a hold of Jonah’s hands. “You have to calm down”

“I’m fine.” Jonah said again. “I need both of you to believe me,” he turned to Katherine. “Do you believe me, pumpkin?” he asked her.

Katherine nodded. Not knowing what else to do.

“Good,” Jonah said. “Now go get your brother”

Katherine stood up and raced out of the room. Jonathan was somewhere in the house. She called out his name. She was still rushing down the hallway when she heard her mother scream.

She stopped moving and turned around. That didn’t sound right. She ran back to her father’s room and what she saw when she opened the door and stepped into the room broke her heart into many pieces.

Delia held her husband’s hand in hers, tears all over her face and Katherine didn’t need anyone to tell her that her father was gone.

Her legs seemed rooted to the spot and when Jonathan came into the room and rushed to their father’s side, Katherine still stood where she was.

Her father was dead. He was gone. She was never going to hear him talk or see him smile ever again.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .

And that realization brought the tears back to her eyes.

—————————

Jonah Kavell was being buried today. Three weeks after his death.

Jensen had visited the Kavell family as often as he could. Offering his help in every way… Making sure that Jonah Kavell got a befitting burial.. Because he deserved it. He had lived a good life.

Katherine was a mess. She looked tired and sad. Her eyes were swollen the last time he had seen her. And seeing her hurting so much broke his heart.