126
NIRVANA
“Vana!” I was startled at Kailin calling my name.
I wiped the tears on my face before walking out of the room, feeling my world crashing down on me.
Kailin was standing in the living room, confused. When she saw my face, she had a thousand questions brewing in her eyes. “We just heard the alpha’s howl, and I saw Knight almost bumping into me in his wolf. What’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong.” I shook my head, throwing my arms around her shoulder, and started sobbing. “He read the book and figured it out.”
“What book? What did he figure out, Vana? Knight looked so lost. I can even feel his pain.” She rubbed my back while throwing a hundred more questions my brain could not process, and I had no strength to answer them all.
I pulled away from her and went back to the room to change into a T-shirt and jeans.
“What the hell is going on, Vana? You better give me some answers.” She looked down at Knight’s shredded clothes. “Oh, my Goddess. He just shifted in the room. This is not good.”
I put my boots on and grabbed my jacket. “Cancel our trip. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Vana!”
“Not now, Kailin. I need to find Knight before he comes across the infected.” I walked out of the room and knew she was following me outside the house.
“How are you supposed to find an enraged alpha?” She was angry at me. I understood that, but I was pissed at myself and ignored the most vital parts of marriage- trust, transparency, and honesty, and I just broke all of them.
“I don’t know, but if you are not here to help, stay out of my way.”
She grabbed my arm, using her strength, and glared at me. “I just want to understand what’s going on, Vana, so I know how to help. You are supposed to be on your way to your honeymoon, and Knight is not only my cousin, but he’s the alpha. His problem is the entire pack’s problem, and when an alpha shifted and ran off like that, we were in trouble. I mean, big trouble. Now tell me, what’s going on?”
“It’s the book.” Dane came to us with the book in his hand. “He figured out that killing Cyrius might kill you. You won’t survive the aftershock.”
“What?” She widened her eyes at me, then at her mate. “You knew, didn’t you? And you missed to mention that to him and us? What the fuck, Nirvana? Are you really going to get yourself killed to save us? Are you this selfish or just stupid?”
“I was going to tell him?” I knew I screwed this up, and there was no way of unscrewing it. It was too late. I should have not neglected what Zarah, Dylan, and Evelyn had been trying to make me do. Now, it was too late. It was over. My plan was over. My marriage, which barely started, was over.
“When?” She was furious, her nose flaring. We’d been best friends for over four years, and I’d never seen her like this. “When, Vana? Today, tomorrow, or when you’re about to sacrifice yourself for us? Have you forgotten the part that you’re our luna? That means something, for fuck’s sake!”
“Calm down, Kailin.” Dane held her arm, but she jerked it off.
“My best friend thinks she’s a hero.” She turned to him, her body tensing.
“There’s no way to defeat-”
“Not you, too, Dane! Don’t tell me there’s no way. There’s always another way! That’s why we’re in a pack.”
“You can be pissed at me later, but I need to find Knight before he hurts himself.”
“Good luck with that!” She just turned and walked away.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Dane caught her in the arm and pulled him into his arms. “I know you’re pissed right now, but she needs us more than ever.”
“No.” She spat out. “She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t even need a pack. She’s powerful enough and planning to save the entire world alone. So be it!”
I looked away when she sobbed in his chest. It hurt so much knowing I hurt the people I loved. It felt like my ribs were imploding, stabbing into my heart.
“She’s a selfish bitch. I hate her. I thought we were best friends, but she’s a liar and makes us believe she cares for us.”
“Of course, she does. She’s being selfish for us, for everyone, and not only the pack but all creatures in this world.”
“I hate you, too.”
“Don’t ever say that, darling. You don’t mean that. You’re just upset.”
While they were in each other’s arms, I walked away with my heart bleeding, dread settling in my chest, but still holding on to something that maybe one day, everyone would learn to forgive me for my lies and betrayal of their trust.
With a heavy sigh, I followed his scent through the woods.
I thought I was handling this situation well, but now the pack might have figured it out, and they would hate, despise, loathe, and cast me out.
I made my way through the fallen tree until I caught different scents. After months of living in a pack, I learned to separate the smell of a threat from a friendly one. I also caught fear and anxious scents in the air.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
“I can smell you, guys. You can come out now, but if you’re here to curse me and piss me off. Save it. I have to find Knight.” I continued walking. “And your stinky scents are all over. It’s distracting.”
“We’re here to help.” Luka came out. “What can we do?”
“Tell the scouts to shift and sniff the alpha’s scent.”
“Tell them yourself.” He looked behind me.
At least ten shirtless guys in their sweatpants. Kailin and Dane were also here.
I breathed deeply. “I’m giving the speech later, but right now-” The sudden pain hit my chest, catching me off guard. I clutched my shirt. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?” Kailin rushed into me, catching me before I fell.
The pain became so intense I could hardly breathe. “Find Knight before it’s too late, but be careful out there. I think he’s- fuck!” I fell on the ground, writhing in agony, my body twitching as my bone felt breaking and muscles rolling inside me. “God, make it stop!”
“Hey, Vana. Look at me. Breath, please?” She caught me and placed my head on her lap.
Gasping in pain, I clutched her arm, holding onto my dear life as the excruciating torturous pain erupted throughout my body- it was like I’d never felt before. It was a burning, crashing, gripping, racking, and never-ending kind of pain.
“Stop!” I thought it was me in an ear-splitting screaming. Birds went flying, wings fluffing away as my voice echoed in the forest. All of a sudden, it felt like my surroundings stopped.
My senses worked, heightening. I could feel the leaves dancing in slow motion, the insects crawling, the wind touching my face, and their voices seemed languorously slow. My eyes cracked open wide, glowing, and bright light flashing.
Then, I saw what looked like my life.
My future.