Alpha Billionaire Series

TANNER

Two Years Later...

Iwish I could say that I have all the answers and my life all figured out, but that's just not the case. It would also be nice to say I'm not still hung up on the woman who broke my heart two years ago.

Again, not the case.

Sitting across from my older brother Nash, I can't help but feel a sliver of jealousy. I've never seen him so damn happy and it's a little too much for me to handle right now. Kind of like when you eat something that's sickly sweet and then you want to vomit.

Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now as Nash talks about his gorgeous wife, Charlie, their daughter Easton, and how well Beckett Technology is doing.

All great things, but I can't find it in myself to be happy. And it's not even about them. It's me. After losing Addie, I lost the ability to be happy. She was it for me. Within a few months of meeting her, I was ready to give her the world, make her permanently a part of mine, and then everything fell apart.

I can't believe it's already been two years since she picked up and left. Two f*****g years and my heart still aches when I think about it.

“So, what do you say?" Nash asks and spears his fork into the Cobb salad he ordered.

Shit. I have no idea what he's been talking about because my mind is about a million miles away right now. “Um.”

“You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?” he asks.

Nash is sharp, he always has been, and that's probably why he's been so successful since he and Charlie have taken control of our father's company. It hasn't even been a year since Thomas died and he left his beloved tech company, TB Technology, to his children. It was a huge surprise since, at the time, we were all estranged and convinced that he couldn't stand any of us.

Over the years, my dad found fault with each one of his kids and eventually, we were all written out of the will. So, when he died of a heart attack last year, I was shocked to find out he'd put us all back in the will to inherit his billionaire-dollar company.

Even Sawyer, my younger brother. And those two would go at it like cats and dogs.

I'm not sure what exactly changed my dad's mind, but he did leave each of us a letter. I haven't read mine yet.

“Sorry, I guess I'm a little distracted today," I say and take a sip of my water.

“Any particular reason why?” Nash asks me.

Yep, sharp as a tack that older brother of mine. I merely shrug, not wanting to tell him that today is the two-year anniversan of the worst day of my life. The day Addie left me without so much as a goodbye or plausible explanation.

“I've been in a funk lately," I say and pick up half my sandwich. I take a bite and chew, but don't taste a damn thing. Since Addie left, even eating good food has lost the enjoyment it once held. God, I must look like a pathetic, lovelorn fool.

Nash knows better, though, than to bring her up. All of my siblings do so, instead, he starts repeating what I must've missed earlier.

“So, I've been trying to convince you for the last 20 minutes to come on full-time with us at Beckett Tech. You can even work from home.”

He's been harassing me for months about this and I know that I've been dragging my feet, but I haven't made my final decision yet. Even though I recently bought a loft apartment here in the city, I've been spending almost all of my time upstate. “Sorry, Nash, but I still don’t know if that's what I want to do.”

Nash nods. “Just think about it, okay? We could really use you and I think it would be good for you,” he gingerly adds. “Meaning what?" I ask and raise a brow.

Nash sighs. “Charlie and I are worried about you, Tan. Hell, we all are. You're all alone up there at the cabin and, well, I'm going to be brutally honest. It's been a long time since I've seen you look anything even close to happy”

Isigh and know he's right. “What're you saying? You miss me and want me to be closer?” I tease, but my words fall flat.

“To start with, yeah. It's ironic that it took dad dying to bring us all closer together."

Nash is right about that, for the most part. He's always lived in the city, but now Sawyer and the twins are back, too. I'm the only one who is rarely here since I ran off to upstate New York right after Addie left town. It wasn't the same without her her and I needed to get away from everything and everybody.

My life upstate is quiet and peaceful. It's also damn lonely, but I do my best to ignore that part of it. I live in a cabin right on the lake and spend my time building handmade furniture, fishing and basically doing my best to completely ignore life. “How about we make a deal?” Nash says, his blue eyes glowing. “You move back down here full-time, and I'll let you work part-time. And from home."

I roll my eyes. “How is that a deal?”

“Just think about it” Nash studies me intently. “I know it's not about the money for you and we all make a helluva lot of bucks off our stocks already. But maybe you should start thinking about getting out there again. Let's face it, you're not likel to meet anyone up in Podunk, NY."

I narrow my eyes. “Maybe I don't want to meet anyone.”

“We all want to eventually meet someone,” Nash says gently.

My heart tightens. I thought I'd already met my someone. “No,” I instantly respond, shutting him down. “Ym not ready.” “You've been hiding out for two years, Tan,” he says carefully. “Being down here with us would be good for you. Otherwise, I'm scared you're going to turn into a grumpy, old hermit up there all by yourself"

“I like being by myself; I stubbornly insist.

“Maybe,” he says. “But I'd like Easton's uncle to be in her life. Besides, you just bought that kick-a*s loft and you're letting it £0 to waste.”NôvelDrama.Org owns this text.

As usual, my older brother is right. I do miss my niece when 'm not around. And I really like my loft. It's modern and vintage at the same time with a really laid back, cool feel to it.

“I just had our whole place baby proofed. Charlie thinks it's hysterical because Easton won't even start crawling for another six months or so. But, man, that kid's a pistol and I know she’s going to get into everything. Besides, you know I like being prepared.”

“Yeah, I know all about it," I say with a chuckle. My brother, the control freak.

Throughout the rest of our lunch, Nash talks more about Easton and shares a few funny stories. By the time we're on the sidewalk and saying goodbye, I'm starting to wonder if he's right.

Should I move back down here permanently?! wonder and gaze around at all the people coming and going. The city is a whirlwind of excitement and commotion- but is this where I want to be again?

sigh and start walking to the garage where my car is parked. I was planning to spend the night at the loft and drive back to the cabin tomorrow morning. Instead, I decide to go back right now. It's a couple of hours north of here and by the time I ge back to the lake, I've made a decision: I'm going to move back to the city.

Nash is right. It's damn lonely up here. The cabin on the lake is beautiful and I don't plan on selling it, but it's going to be m) second home, not my first. I'm going to focus on helping Nash and Charlie run Beckett Tech and spending time with my family.

But that's it. Romance-wise, I have no interest or intention of dating anyone yet. Hell, maybe ever. Getting my heart broken again isn't on the current agenda. Besides, that would mean I possess the capability to move on and I'm smart enough to know that I'm in no position to do that.

The truth is, Addison Hayes ripped my heart out of my chest and then fucking stomped all over it. I had loved and trusted her with every fiber of my being. I was on the verge of asking her to spend forever with me. A frown creases my forehead when I think of the engagement ring tucked away in my top drawer. It's been there for two years now because I don't know what the hell else to do with it. I don't even want to look at the damn thing.

The problem is that no other woman has measured up to even half of Addie. She was light, goodness and beauty. So much beauty. I close my eyes and can still picture the light dusting of freckles over her nose and cheeks that I used to love so much. Her brown hair was the color of chestnuts and her eyes had always reminded me of milk chocolate. Then there was her baby powder scent.

Mmm.It got me every single time.

I give my head a hard shake, willing Addison Hayes out of my mind once and for all. But she's always there. Lingering, teasin and torturing me. I have no idea where she went after leaving the city behind, but I do know that my father was responsible. Thomas had set up that goddamn dinner that will haunt me forever. How could I have been so naive? When I found out later that his “business associate's daughter” was actually a prostitute who'd he'd hired to seduce me, I nearly lost my shit. Needless to say, that was the end of my relationship with Thomas Beckett. And it was already shaky and on life support as it was. But the way he callously broke up me and Addie was the final nail in the coffin.

As far as I was concerned, Thomas Beckett was dead to me long before he keeled over from a heart attack.

I remember confronting him, finding out the truth, and then feeling sick to my stomach. My own father had betrayed me and the woman I loved took off before I could even explain the situation. After Addie saw Chella kissing me, I ran after her like a “man half-crazed. But I was upset, not paying attention, and, halfway to her apartment, I got in a car accident.

Unfortunately, it was a bad accident and I'd spent the next week laid up in a hospital bed with a broken leg and a concussion. I guess that's what happens when you're driving frantically and turn right in front of a big truck. Honestly, I was lucky I lived.

Or maybe not, I think darkly. Without Addie, my life hasn't been that great. If 'm being completely frank, it has sucked ass. Sometimes I wonder if I would've been better off if I'd just died that day. Because it feels like I've been dead the last two years.

Everything used to be so vibrant, but now it's nothing but a dark, empty place. It’s like I'm living in a world that is just one hue.

I rub my temple and look over the cabin. I don't have a lot of possessions and have preferred living a simple life up here. I figure it shouldn't take me more than a day or so to pack up some of my belongings and officially move back down to NYC. Nash is right—as hard as it is, I need to get on with my life somehow. I'm going to start by focusing on work. From there...I “guess we shall see.

But when it comes to love and women, I'm not going to hold my breath. It's a damn lost cause.