Alec’s

Sadie

I walked through the forest, feeling the effects of the full moon. Its power was around me, shifting like a caged animal. I could feel it inside me. On my skin and in my bones.

I’ve waited for this day since I knew who we were. What we turn Into. I’ve been waiting for this day since I knew what love was, Since I realized that I was in love with Alec.

Today was meant to mark a new day for me and those around me, especially Alec. Looking back, I don’t know if I would have been this excited if I knew what would happen before my first shift.

It’s been months since we left everything behind, and King joined us. Months since my torture and since I found out I was pregnant. Nothing much has happened except that we found a place to settle months after we left our home.

Just as nothing much has happened, nothing has changed in me. I still hated Alec and his damn pack. For the first time in my life, I wished the worst for someone. I wasn’t a mean person, nor was ! vengeful, but something shifted in me after being betrayed by people who I thought were my family.

My smiles no longer came easily, nor did laughter. It’s like Alec took everything that made me Sadie. Everything that used to make me the cheerful bundle of joy and energy I used to be. Nowadays, I look into the mirror and barely recognize myself, not because of my non-existent hair, the scar on my face. or the ones on my back… But because when I stare in the mirror, all I see is a girl I don’t recognize..

My

y eyes were vacant. I no longer felt the light that used to shine from inside me when I looked in the mirror. It’s like a part of me died in that dirty cell where I was held captive for months. A certain coldness had encased my heart. My soul was marked by a kind of darkness I couldn’t escape.

“Sadie, is everything okay?” Raven’s voice penetrates the mist that surrounds me. The mist I kept getting lost because reality was sometimes too much for me.

“Yes,” I replied, then asked, “Can you please go back? I want to be alone before shifting.”

Her eyes looked worried, but I also know that she understands that I needed to do this alone.

“Are you sure?” she asked

“Yes”

With that, she gave me a tight hug before leaving.

It didn’t take long after she left that I started to feel the effects. It’s like someone or something was

O

trying to claw it’s way out of the depths of my soul. I fall on my knees, careful not to hurt my belly, since I am now seven months pregnant.

Unlike what humans believe, our pregnancies don’t last two months like those of normal wolves. Just like with humans, and we are half-human, our pregnancies last nine months.

I stay on the hard and cold forest floor, groaning in pain and covered in sweat, but nothing happens. I didn’t know much about shifting, but with each minute that passed with nothing happening, I knew something was wrong.

F**k, what the hell was happening?

“Sadie?” a strong, commanding yet sweet voice calls.

I opened my eyes, and I realized how everything seemed so much clearer. My eyesight was so much sharper than before. I looked down, but there wasn’t a change. Instead of paws, I still had my hands.

Frowning, I ask, “Who are you?”

I was so confused. Is this yet another thing that the moon goddess has taken from me? Hasn’t she had enough? Enough of torturing me and condemning my life. Why was she doing this to me? First with Alec and the pack, and now with my wolf.

“I’m your wolf, Nyx… And no, the goddess hasn’t taken anything from you, my dear human.” Her voice was so soft and sweet. I could literally feel her love enveloping me, trying to heal my brokenness.

“What do you mean? If she hasn’t taken everything away from me, then why the hell am I not shifting?”

Before, when my life was much simpler, I looked forward to my shifting because I thought Alec and I would recognize each other as mates. After I found out about my pregnancy, I looked forward to shifting so I would be able to protect my pup in case my and Alec’s paths ever crossed.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Without shifting, how would I be able to fight and protect my baby? Sure, I started training with King a bit, but being human isn’t the same as having your wolf.

“There are things I can’t explain to you yet, but the moon goddess hasn’t abandoned you like you think,” she finally answered.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Nyx.”

“I know, and, like I said, there are things I can’t tell you yet. What I can tell you is that you’re not ready. It’s not time yet.”

17:13 Wed, 10 Jul G WO

“Is this about the baby? I thought she-wolves could shift even when pregnant,” I told her, a bit exasperated with her answers.

“No, it’s not about the baby, but about you, Sadie,” she said gently. “You’re not ready yet. I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t as of now. You have to be patient, when the time is right, everything will be revealed, and you will shift, but for now, just focus on getting stronger and better.”

“I’m confused.” I sat up and leaned against a tree while rubbing my belly.

My baby was kicking, as if the wolf half of my pup could sense its mother.

“I know and one day it will all make sense. Please trust me.”

I did trust her, I am just a bit frustrated. It’s hard to embrace change when things haven’t exactly gone according to plan.

“Will I stay human? Will you leave me?” I was scared of her answer, but I needed to ask.

“No, to both,” she answered in the same soft, sympathetic voice. “You’ll have all the benefits of being a werewolf, without actually being able to shift… well, until the time is right, that is.”

I sighed, trying to accept that another one of my dreams had been shattered in the past few months.

“Everything will be okay, Sadie… You just have to hold on to hope.”

I wanted to believe her, but something told me that this is just the start of what’s to come, and that scares me because I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to face whatever is coming my way.