Feeling stupid and weak
EPISODE SEVENTY TWO
THEME: Feeling stupid and weak
CONNECTICUT, UNITED STATE OF AMERICA
CHRISTOPHER CRAWFORD APARTMENT
The hurt Raven felt wasn’t just of the heart, but her core ached too. Not having had sex for a while had put the vagina on a tight lipped journey. She had been too engrossed in getting as much pleasure as she wanted that she didn’t take note of the pain until this morning.
Raven couldn’t explain how devastated she was after being disgraced by Christopher. She had cried for about thirty minutes on the bathroom floor. A part of her traitorous mind expected him to come plead with her, but she knew how foolish she was to think a man who was never interested in her would come beg her. She had seen it coming but she had ignored the signs totally, just as she knew Jacob was going to mess her up.
‘Love wasn’t for her.’ She thought to herself.
Pushing herself up, she cleaned her face, took a shower and got dressed for work. She waited for him to leave the house before she headed downstairs. The last thing she wanted was to see his face again. If she could run as far away as she could then she would do it. But for the sake of the contract she had to stay till the very end. It was all her fault for giving in to his drunken advances. She admitted.
Raven beat herself up all the way to work, mapping out so many reasons why she deserved to be referred to as stupid and weak. Tears rolled down her face as she drove to work. Thankfully she wasn’t putting on any make up, which eased the cleaning of the face to avoid being asked if she was okay.
A tip of her finger grazed her lips making her shiver as memories of how Christopher had kissed her lingered on it. Fresh bouts of tears escaped her throat again as she rested her head on the wheels.
“You are a fool, Raven.” She scolded herself as she dabbed at her face well and went into the restaurant through the back door.
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THE GOLDEN RESTAURANT
“How come you are late? You didn’t tell me you would be staying up all night.” Tiana accosted her as she hanged her bag.
“Morning to you too, Tiana. What have I missed?” Raven questioned, trying so hard not to sound off.
“Nothing, just a few works here and there.” Tiana’s tone lacked enthusiasm. She was surprised at how distant Raven sounded.
Not sparing her a glance, Raven grunted in response. She grabbed an apron, put her hair in a cap and got down to work.
Tiana watched her with keen eyes. She could see that her friend looked heartbroken. The last time she checked Raven had no one she was crazy about so it was impossible for such person to be heartbroken. Raven seemed lost as she seasoned some beefs.
“It is really not nice when you come to work looking so sour like that.” Tiana accused.
Raven looked up from what she was doing and forced a smile on her face. “That’s not true. I am very fine for your information.”
Tiana scoffed. “Yeah. Sure you are. I am not going to argue with you, so my take is you get done with that beef and you come with me to the store room to tell me what’s bugging you so much.”
“I am okay, Tiana.” Raven insisted.
However a stern look from Tiana made Rave shake her head and keep up with what she was doing. It was obvious she couldn’t move past this woman. Tiana could make a dumb person speak if she wanted to hear him or her talk so bad.
There wasn’t much order made and they had time to discuss as much as they wanted. Letting Raven sit on the grain sacks while she sat on another one opposite her and she gave her a questionable look.
“I know it seems hard to talk about, but I want to hear all about it.” Tiana said.
Raven sighed as she took in another deep breath. “I slept with him.” She blurted out, covering her face with her palms.
“What?!” Tiana exclaimed. “Wait a sec, no… oh my goodness! Is this is a joke?”
Raven shook her head. “Tiana, if it is I wouldn’t look so damn serious!” She retorted, letting down her palms from her face.
Tiana showed off all of her teeth. “So why are you so moody? You should be glad you got to spend the night with that hunk of a man.”
“It is not what you think.” Raven sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Tiana arched her brows.
“The only clause is, I was sleeping with him while he was sleeping with his ex.”
Tiana frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it. His ex? What are you rambling about Raven?”
Raven let out a grunt. “Here is the thing; last night when he had cancelled on the dinner, it turned out that he had gone to the bar to get himself drunk. I couldn’t get through to him until around 1:00 a. m. When I eventually did and brought him home, he kept talking about someone named Jessica. From the way he kept talking about her, she was obviously his first love. He mentioned something about her refusing his proposal to keep up with her job as a campaign manager to one senator that I don’t know of. I got tired of hearing him talk so passionately about his ex even when he was drunk…” she paused.
“You were jealous, huh.” Tiana teased with a smile as she interrupted her.
Raven glared at her making her smile shrink. “Sorry.” She mouthed.
Raven continued. “In my attempt to leave the room after helping him out of his clothes, he pulled me back and started kissing me. He called me Jessica and begged me to stay with him. I really don’t know what I was thinking but I got lost in the puddle of his caresses and it just happened.”
“Ok, let me get this straight. You are sad because he called his ex girlfriend’s name all through your romp. How is that any of your business girl? You should be excited that you got laid! Oh Christ Jesus! Your daughter got her seven years celibacy broken!” She placed her palms together as if she wanted to pray.
“Sometimes I wonder if your brain is in its right position. Because I must admit your thinking puts me off every time.”
Tiana pouted. “Come on, Raven, do you have to be so blunt?”
Raven was silent for some seconds. “Hey Raven, I am sorry.” Tiana apologized.
Raven shook her head as tears clouded her vision. “No… no… Tiana this is not about you.” she sniffed.
“So what?”
“If he had been nice enough when we woke up this morning, maybe just maybe I would accept it as a one night stand. I knew it wasn’t me he wanted to be with last night but I have craved for his touch for weeks now Tiana. So how was I suppose to ignore his caresses?” Raven mumbled these words. And when she noticed Tiana was listening and not trying to interrupt she continued. “He practically shoved me off the bed this morning and he said so many horrible things that I don’t want to be reminded of.”
Tiana’s eyes widened in shock. “Are you kidding right now? He shoved you off, like he pushed you off the bed?”
Raven nodded her head in response.
“I am so going to break his damn head!” Tiana fumed as she stood up like she was about to go storm his office.
Raven was quick to grab one of her wrists. “You really don’t need to Tiana. It is not his fault, it’s my faulty for getting ahead of myself.” She sniffed, wiping the tears off her face.
Tiana sat down in despair. “But none of it is your fault, Raven. He is just an asshole!”
“Why am I so unlucky when it comes to men? Is there something wrong with me?” She wailed.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Please Raven stop saying that.” She reached out to her friend’s hands to console her. Tiana knelt down in front of her friend. “Don’t cry please.”
Raven hiccuped consistently. “I feel so shattered, Tiana. You need to see the look on his face when he was talking to me. So much hate emitted from him you would think I was his enemy.” She cried, her shoulders shaking vigorously.
Tiana gritted her teeth as she kept consoling her. ‘Raven didn’t deserve the way she was being treated. Why was life so cruel?’ She thought within.
“It’s okay mama. What do you intend to do now, my place is free you know that.”
Raven cleaned up her face again. “I can’t move in with you because I have to do my part of the contract. I will just avoid him for the meantime. I will leave home as early as I can and return very late. And during weekends, I will switch visits between mom’s place and yours.”
“How convenient will that be for you? And how long do you plan on doing this?” Tiana asked.
“For as long as it keeps me away from him and saves my face. I am okay with that.”
Tiana pulled her in for a hug. “I am so sorry, Raven. I am really sorry for being helpless and unable to help you. I wish I could relieve you of your misery so bad.”
“I know Tiana. I know.” She wailed, letting it all out on her friends shoulder.
All of a sudden, Tiana pulled away from her when she remembered something. “But tell me something, how was the sex?”
Color rushed through Raven’s face at the tease in Tiana’s eyes. “Tiana!” She whined.
Tiana laughed mischievously as she pointed at her friend’s face. “Right there is all I need to see to know how much of a good time you had. Now, come here my baby.” She chuckled, pulling her back into her embrace.
Raven dipped her face into her neck as she felt mortified.NôvelDrama.Org exclusive content.