The Soldier Next Door

Fate is what takes you down that road you ever so often avoid taking. Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark.

Sometimes the smallest turn in the wrong direction ends up being the biggest turn of your life. Sometimes you imagine that everything could have been different for you, that if only you had gone right one day when you chose to go left, you would be living a life you could never have anticipated. But at other times, you think there was no other way forward, that you were always bound to end up exactly where you have.

I am a man who plans every step that he takes. I would like to see where I am going and how I am going to get there. Some say live life on a daily basis; I say there is no room for surprises and unexpected things. But lately, all my best-laid plans have begun to falter. My life has become full of unpredictability; around every corner, there are new twists and turns. The truth is that life really doesn’t give a shit about your plans.

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.

Yet, life and fate are never fair.

Ask fate the question “Why me?”

Fate barely bothers to return the reply, “Why not?”

Now three things have happened to me today, and every part of me does, so I want to ask that question. Though that is not my only problem, I need to decide, and this is where fate came and kicked me right under the fucking ass. How do you decide by whom you should be?

Well, of course, that decision should be easy…my wife.

But, I have a brother, a father, and a mother that needs me too.

How do you begin to decide which direction you should go in at these fateful crossroads where if have found yourself standing?

Yes, life is a bitch, and fate is karma’s wicked way to play a cruel joke on you.

So as I am standing outside the hospital, Ana has now silently drifted off into sleep, my heart breaks. I am torn into pieces and scattered, slowly being stepped on and crushed into the ground.

Now Matty, and I am not even sure, but Ray called and said that he got injured during a training exercise. The only thing I could ask the man is, is he going to survive? Upon his answer, I have decided to remain by Ana’s side.

But then, as if it was some prank that someone was playing, I get yet another call from some person that I do not know. After getting firmly irritated with this man, he finally introduced him as a Doctor that is just outside the city. Then, of course, my entire world collided, for I immediately knew that something must have happened to my mom or my dad.

Well, guess my horror as I had to listen to him telling me that both of my parents got injured in an accident. Now my immediate reaction was, “Are they alive?” Much to my relief, the Doctor confirmed that they are, but unlike my mom, my dad’s injuries were quite severe.

Then yet again, I came to face with the decision…

Do I go to my parents or do I stay with Ana?

I guess you have your answer as I am on my way back to Ana. She has not yet found out about my mom and dad, but Matty she knows of. The Doctor said to keep her calm, so I am here alone, slowly dying inside.

So as I take the elevator back to the first floor where they have Ana, it feels like it is the longest ride that I have ever taken in my life. The second ticks by as the fear and horror of what is happening to you crawl up your skin. It is as if I am making the short distance in what seems like hours.

The tension starts to build up in my heart; it feels as if the spears of a million daggers are stabbing me. The air in my chest is beginning to thin out. I am falling into a dark hole; I am losing myself into an abyss of hell.

So as I finally step through the door, I cannot help to feel the tears of worry starting to overwhelm my body. The thoughts that something terrible will happen to Ana creep over me again, and I feel even too crippled to walk a step forward.

Then as I finally come to her side, I am once again shocked to my core. The peace I felt when I left her room only but ten minutes ago has just left my body. What I am staring in the face, it is an image that I shall never be able to get out of my head ever again.NôvelDrama.Org owns all © content.

Why her?

Why now?

Can fate tell me why its path has come crossed in our way?

Why does it come and put you in this situation? I feel that it is my fault; it is because of me that she is here. Why do I hurt the people I care about the most so deeply? I cannot begin to think if I have to say goodbye to any one of them.

I take her hand slowly; I lift her hand gently of the bed and lay my lips in a soft kiss against them. “I am sorry, boo.

Now here I stand, and I am looking down on a woman I know I love, and I know that she feels the same for me. And she knows that beyond anything that I will do everything for her. I will sacrifice myself; I will sacrifice my family.

But thinking about my mom and dad. I feel so bad; I just don’t know what to do. How do I deal with not being able to be there with them? Will I ever forgive myself if something has to happen to them? I might not have been driving the car, but I feel that I am the one that lost control.

Have I lost control of my life?

I had it planned; it was all going to work out. But destiny, fate, and karma were playing together to give me a different outcome.

My path seems to have been set; Ana has been dealt with her hand, Matty has received his fair share, but who has been given the most is my mom, but ultimately my dad.

So as I listen to this ungodly machine that is beeping next to me, I know that wherever my family finds themselves, as long as that machine is making that noise, I know that they are still alive. But it is my heart that is slowly dying over and over again. I cannot bear seeing the oxygen mask over Ana’s face; not even the needle in her arm is giving me any peace at the moment.

I can only imagine how much worse it must be for my mom and especially my dad, but as for Matty, I am not sure; I have no idea how bad the man has gotten hurt. It will only take me half an hour, and I can be next to his bedside.

But I shall remain here; this is where from everyone that is hurt, this is exactly where I should be. Family has this wonderful ability to be understanding no matter the consequences. No matter the choice you need to make, your family will always be there to have your back. And even though we all are apart, we know that with the deepest of our hearts that we love each other.

So yes, fate.

Here I sit. I was about a third way down this wonderful path, well, so to speak, then you can along. You made everything fall apart with heartache, pain, and complete unpredictability. You have made sure that there was distance. You made certain things happen. I understand that I had no choice in the matter, but I do believe in you, fate. Well, not always, for we do make our own destiny, but it seems that you take those monumental moments and push us in the direction that you have laid out for us.

There is no other way out from where you have taken us. It has taken me a handful of angry words to accept the things that you have down. You have created mistakes and regrets. So here I sit. Thinking about my family that you have ripped apart. Yes, you have filled me with sadness. But I know that you do not give a damn.

But know this, that tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow is in my hands again. I will choose what happens next.

And while you are having your fun, I am brought to the reality that my family, wherever they find themselves to be, they are at this very moment gently knocking at heaven’s door.