The Soldier Next Door

Complete static. That is all I hear. It feels as if my world has come crashing down on me.

I am not losing a man today. I am not losing a squad, and most of all, I am not losing Emma. So it is with absolute frustration that I sit in a few agonizing moments and frantically try to get hold of Lewis and the Marines that were with him. I call for another unit to give me an update.

“Matthew. Come in.”

“Go ahead, Lieutenant.”

“Status on Lewis and his team.”

“They are under control now.”

“And Emma?”

“Taken a shot to the chest. But her stats is fine.”

“Thank god! Get your asses back here.”

“Affirmative Lieutenant.”

“Roger. Over. Out.”

With that, I sigh in relief, once again, I should not, but I know the boys are coming back home and that Emma is still alive. Now, this is a different kind of relief that I feel. Perhaps not the one that I truly thought that I would.

So it is with anticipation that I wait for them to return to base. Counting the minutes off is complete torture. Lopez is staring at me oddly strange.

“Ya, no feelings there?”

“Hey, I am just relieved the woman is fine,” I stop for a few seconds and look him straight in the eyes. “I know now what it is that I need to do.”

“Well, do you care to share it with me?”

“Nah, I need to see her, then I will know for sure.”

With that, I find myself wandering to the mess hall to get a goddamn cup of strong coffee; I would so put whiskey in here for I could surely do with it now.

So after much debate with myself and trying to convince myself that this is what I want more than anything right now, I hear as the first Humvee start to come into the camp.

It is in absolute haste that I rush over; much to my annoyance, only the third one that comes in is her. She is unconscious, and from what I can see, she still looks pretty much still intact as for what my eyes can see.

I only give Lewis one look and nod my head at him; the man can see the relief that if built up in my eyes. I have not felt these feelings since I knew I was losing Ana. How is it that I am always losing the woman in my life? Am I just destined to be alone with no one by my side?

Well, that is the last thing that I need to think of now; I watch as they take Emma into the nurse’s tent. I wait and watch as the doctor takes what seems forever to take her armor vest off. As he goes to inspect her wound, I see it is not as bad as I thought. She has taken a shot in the shoulder. The impact must have knocked her out. She will pull through just fine.

I stay with her for the entire procedure to get the bullet removed, and once the most of the Marines have gone back to their tents, I sit down next to her. For a brief moment, I take her hands in mine.

“God, woman, you gave me a fright. I am going to kick your ass when you are awake.”

With that, a single tear runs down my still pale face. I need to set things right; I need to tell her how I truly feel and what she potentially means to me. Either way, I see it; I will be pushing one of the women out of my life again; I might not have Ana complete anymore; I still feel that she is a woman that is very much present in my life.

After what is several hours, I leave her side and make a turn past the ops tent. It is completely deserted, so I move forward and find myself on my way to my own tent. As I fall onto my bed, I once again remind myself how goddamn lucky I am that Emma is still alive.

Then, I pull my phone from my pocket, and yes, I know, that asshole told me to leave her alone, well who does he think he is? I am not about to listen to him.

As I swipe for her number, I wait patiently for her to answer.

“Hey, Ethan.”

“Hey, you. How are you doing? Can you talk?”

“Yes, he is not here.”

Well, I do not know why, but I feel excited that at least I can talk to her in peace without that man interrupting her. I still do not know why he has such power over her. Ana has always been a very independent woman; she would take nobody’s shit. God, she never even took mine. She has changed so much; it is like she has lost her identity.

“How are you doing Ana, you don’t sound yourself.”

“I am fine, just been a long day. You know.”

“No, I don’t know; tell me what is wrong.”

“Tell me what is wrong; you don’t sound yourself, Ethan.”

I see what she is doing. Now I wish she did not turn it around for I hate to have to tell her the story about Emma, but this is why I have phoned her, this is the reason I want to speak to her.

“We came under fire on our mission out today.”

“God, is everything okay?”

“Yes, we had a man down, but he will be okay.”

“Shit, who is it?”

“Well, it is actually her.”

I hear as she goes quiet, and I can hear she gets uncomfortable; well, that is why I referred to he hoping that she was not going to ask questions, but hey, this is Ana; she is going to ask who. She has always taken an interest in my life and in things that happen to me.

“Oh,” I hear her say, “That is the girl that you are seeing?”

“There is only one girl at camp,” I say as I try to clear the tension, yet I think it is too late for I can hear it clearly in her voice.

“Hey, Ethan, I think I must be going.”

“Ana, please, please just talk to me. I need to hear your voice.”

“God, you are making this hard. But okay, only until he comes home.”This belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.

“Fuck him; why are you so goddamn scared of the man?”

She starts to stutter, and I know that there is something that she is not telling me, and the stubborn Ana that I know is not going to tell me. I wish that she just trusted me like she used to before. God, there are so many things that I wished they will still like they used to be.

So after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, she continues asking me about Emma, “Is she okay? This girl, is she going to be okay?”

“Yes, the wound is not serious. The worse she will have is an awful scar.”

“Why are you not with her? I mean, you should be by her side.”

“I was, but I needed to get away, and I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Ethan, you know that we cannot do this.”

The moment she says those words, I immediately start to feel frustrated; without even realizing it, I hitch my voice a tone, “Do what, Ana, I cannot speak to the woman that I loved?”

I hear her gasp, and I know that the words came wrong from my lips. “Ana, I don’t mean it like that. I do still love you, and you know that.”

“I know Ethan, but it is not the same love that we use to have. And I understand because it has obviously become the same for me.”

Well, now it is me that is taken aback by her words. Did she truly just agree with some stupid statement I made? It came all out wrong, not at all how I intended it to be. So I try to gather my thoughts, “Is that really how you feel?”

“Feel like what?”

“That our love has changed? I mean, how do you feel it has changed?”

“It is obvious that we are not together, so we feel the way that friends should feel for each other.”

“Is that what we are? Are we friends?”

“Well, I don’t see what else we are. We are apart, but we still talk to each other, so I think that is what you call friends.”

I smile to myself as I knew exactly what she just said, and she probably did not even realize it.

“Ana, you said apart; why did you not say broken up?”

“Broken up, apart. It is the same difference.”

“Well, Ana, it is not the same difference to me. See, do you know there was a reason I phoned you?”

“Because you wanted to hear my voice, the voice of a friend because your friend has just been shot.”

“Yes, my friend has been shot, but I wanted to hear the voice of the woman I love.”

I can hear she is biting down on that lip as she is thinking; she is starting to talk herself into trouble. I only but chuckle at her and take a deep breath.

“Ana, my boo, please can we try again?”