The Soldier Next Door

There is a dead darkness that settles over my heart as I hear the echo of a voice come from behind me.

I have let my guard down for a second, for a second I let my pain get the better of me. One moment of weakness will be my downfall. I knew that I should not have come on this mission. There is a war raging out here, but there is an even bigger war raging in my heart. I cannot fight both, and I was foolish to think that I could.

So as I hear the rumble of a voice come from behind me, I have only one thing to do and that is turn around and face what will be my end today. And it is with slow agony that I do so. Each little scuffle my feet make, I prepare myself for what awaits me. Will it be a gun to my head or will it be a knife to the chest. Whichever way, I truly do not think that any pain can be worse than the one that I am already feeling deep within my soul.

But I am a Marine, and right now I am a Marine acting like a coward. I am giving up before I have even started to fight. So what I got caught off guard here? I am not ready to go yet. The only thing killing me today is my own heart.

And with that, I take that steady turn and I spin right around. The room is dark and all I can make out is the silhouette of a man, he is shorter and somewhat less build than me. It is with great ease that I grab him around the waist and tackle him with force down to the floor. Though I might have underestimated his build, his power and skill are right there to match mine. It takes me but only a few twists and turns and a rather large thud in the gut and I have him under control.

But…

I am soon surprised as he flips me over and has me pointed firmly to the ground on my back. His hands are cold, yet firm as they pin my wrists with only but one hand to the floor, the rest…well…I do not give him the moment to find what he is seeking for… my knife.

Instead, I rip my hands from his grip and fling him around until he is firmly secure between the grip of my legs. He tries to struggle for his very own weapon, but I have his hands tight within my hold. He cannot move, he is trapped under the pure force my body brings down on him.

Then as I go to reach for my knife that is securely hidden in my pants, he launches his knee up to prevent me from making a further move. I immediately kick back into his shin and he cries out in pain.

But…wait.

Something is wrong.

Making very sure that there is no room for him to make a single move, I search for his eyes. They are a deep dark chocolate brown that is glimmering under the moonlight rushing through the open windows above. I do even dare go as far and say that there is a smile behind the sparkle that they hold.

But this is not my first problem, there is a second. The second comes from the sense of smell. The scent that carries from his body, is a scent that I have smelled before. Some might find it pleasing, some not, it all depends on which side you stand. So with two very odd observations, I raise my voice only but a fraction as I speak.

شما کی هستید

And if I thought that I need to encourage an answer, I am as with my first observation, very much surprised. From underneath short rapid breath, mainly because we are still furiously trying to decide who will gain the upper hand with the scuffle on the floor, there comes a voice, a voice of a woman.

جدیدترین عضو تیم شما

It is hard to say which comes first, but the moment those words come flowing from lips that I know is sweeter than honey, that ache I felt not so long ago has now disappeared. Now there is the total desire just to keep her pinned to the floor for only but a minute more, but, the excitement makes me jump from the floor and pull her right along with me.

“When did you get here?”

“This morning with Ray, but I was so tied up with red tape that I could not come to say hi before you left.”

“Did you come in with Lopez?”

“Yes, caught the ride in seeing that I am going to be on Gibbs’s squad now.”

“So what? Are you back? Are you staying?”

“Guess I had someone that did some good convincing, so yes, I am staying, but I would like to get out of this building. So what do you say we clear it and get the fuck back to camp.”

With that, I clear the remainder of the last two rooms that are on the floor and meet back up with the rest of the squad outside. It seems that we won’t find them here tonight. In a way I can say that I am very much relieved for I know my heart is not into this one today. I could have gotten myself killed. I think that to be true to myself and to that of my squad, I need to sit these missions out until I am completely back into the game.

So as we are all outside waiting for the last of the men to filter back in, I have Lopez coming to stand next to me, “I thought you could do with the surprise. I saw her walking into camp just before we left and told her to gear up and come along. Hope you don’t mind.”NôvelDrama.Org owns this.

“Well, she was a distraction in more ways than one. But thanks.”

“Please just promise me that you won’t rush into something because of what happened with Ana?”

“Hey, this heart will be guarded for a long time to come. But fuck, I like the idea of having her around camp. Not just for me, but for the boys as well.”

“And I guess she is off-limits still?”

“Damn fucking right you are.”

With that, we all pile back into the Humvees and make our way back to camp. The mood is once again very cheerful and cautious, even more so now that she is back and they don’t know if they should make the jokes or not quite so. It pisses me off beyond compare that I am seen as such a fragile piece of china when perhaps I am. But I am being treated like a child and not a Marine and I know that it is not fair to get angry at the boys because they don’t know how to react around me. The thing is that not even I do know how I must react around me. One moment I think I am fine, but the next, just a single ounce of memory of her, and I am all over the damn floor again. I hate what she has done to me. I feel like a failure as a man and now I am starting to feel like a failure as a Marine.

Guess that once again I have something that I have to prove. I need to prove to every single one of these men that I am Ethan Hunter, the man with a disability, not Ethan Hunter, the man with a broken heart. But somehow having a broken heart does feel like a disability now. This is something that I am going to have to prove and not keep trying to say. So the minute I step out of this Humvee, I leave my broken heart behind. I leave my broken heart behind in that abandoned building. In a way, I can say that I left it there the moment that I saw her again. Maybe she is the one that will get me through this.

So as we find ourselves entering camp again, as I step outside the Humvee I look on over to her,

“Emma, come with me for a walk.”

There is humming and chattered running through the camp as they see me lead her to the very tree that is starting to become a haven for me. Somehow I think that I will and it will even be with her that I will come to this tree very often still.

So once all the glances are gone, I show for her to sit down next to me.

“There is something I need to tell you, and I am sure you have heard the rumors by now.”

“About us? Not yet, but I am sure they are going to be steamy.”

I only but nearly topple over as I burst out laughing at her remark, but then my face goes quiet again and I look into those deep chocolate brown eyes.

“Ana and me, well there is no longer an Ana and me.”

“God, Ethan,” she stops for a few moments as she realizes that it is not pity that I need. “You know what, her loss. But what about the baby?”

And just as those words leave her lips, I remember that there was something that Ana wanted to tell me.

I immediately jump up, “Meet me in the mess hall later? I need to go do something quick.”